A journey of 61 days without her

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by nalek, Oct 23, 2018.

  1. nalek

    nalek Fapstronaut

    This year is the one where i reached my biggest streak, 21 days without masturbation (and 20 without porn) and the second one was 7 days... 6 years ago.
    The reason why i entered here and made such streak was my girl (with whom i am since the last year) and we couldn´t have a full moment so far.
    The thing is why i am here writing this journey. That´s because we ask to distance ourselves for 2 months until each one could solve it´s projects and personal things (work, projects, school and other activities) in order to get more time together for the next year (we talked about moving to a flat in the future).
    This is the first day of the aggrement, so i want to make a promise to myself, help me in the ways i can to solve one of my oldest problems, my porn addiction (since i was 13).

    I am open to questions i you want to know more about the story. I promise i will write the progress from now to the next 2 months.

    The thing is... i want to become a better man for her... for me.. and for us.

    Thank you for your time.
     
    Dyka and tdotLotLJ like this.
  2. tdotLotLJ

    tdotLotLJ Fapstronaut

    76
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    GOOD JOB ..... 21 DAYS -- 3 WEEKS WITH NO PMO !!!

    GOOD GOALS !!

    I did about 90 days a few months ago........... So here are some tips for your success:


    T--I--P--S


    1. Use lots of rewards [positive reinforcement] the first week (desserts, fruit drink, etc.)

    2. When tempted, use Distractions to provide a way to escape the temporary (10-20 min.) temptations.

    3. GO OUTSIDE -- if needed. *Dance to your favorite tunes... call or text or email a friend or relative ... Walk a dog, cat, horse … go to NoFap and "like" some posts -- or give advice... Encourage Others…etc

    4. Remember the Benefits of NoFap: a. get rid of social anxiety/increasing no fear of public speaking b. increased attention from the opposite sex/flirting comes naturally c. bye depression [bye shame] d. much more energy

    5. Keep Busy -- be productive -- it will make you feel good to have some daily goals and check them off as you accomplish them.

    6. Dance to your favorite tunes... call or text or email a friend ... go to NoFap and "like" some posts -- or give advice... Encourage Others…etc.

    7. You Can Do This! Any human being can be successful at NoFap! (All it takes is a little effort; and sometimes going outside for a few minutes.)
     
    Praksh and nalek like this.
  3. nalek

    nalek Fapstronaut

    Day 1 (1 streak)
    I must say that i taked the distance with calm and didn´t have problems to go on in my day, but i had some moments of sadness becaeuse i relized that i will not be able to see her for a time. After the work, i understanded the reason why we are doing this with my girlfriend, to concentrate in my projects for the next time and solve them, so i can have more time to do things with her.
    The work was difficult this day, we are in a hurry with our client and we have to deliver a important progress in 2 days, so i concentrated a lot to work in my time.
    After the work, i rested in my house and made my dinner, i was tired
     
    Last edited: Nov 3, 2018
  4. nalek

    nalek Fapstronaut

    Day 2 (2 streak)
    The work was fun (even knowing that we are run of time to deliver the progress to the client) and the time passed really fast. My girlfriend talked to me again to ask if we could have a little "break" from our distance the next month and i said yes because i fell like that moment will be good to recover the impluse and finish my projects.
    I didn´t have the need of masturbation so far, i was calm the whole day (thank god).

    PD: I work as a programmer for what is called a "Software factory", our job is making specializated software for companies.
     
    Last edited: Nov 3, 2018
  5. nalek

    nalek Fapstronaut

    Day 3 (3 streak)
    In the last hour of our day, we could deliver the whole work we promised. Now we are much more calm to fix the issues are going to recive from the testing team and our client-
    At the afternoon, i went to the school and showed how our system is improving. So far we had some delays and a couple of doubts about how to develop the next functionality for our teacher.
    After we had the class, we (the team) talked about the things we are missing and what delays are having... i think i am slowing them because i am not working as i was expecting time ago... but also i know if i only keep thinking in my delays istead working them, i am going to miss the objective of the distance with my girl. Concentrate and work.

    At least i know i understanded that i could see my limit and change the way i think to work better tomorrow.

    PD: One of my projects is study to become a System Analist and the final project is develop a small software in 3 months. My roles in this team are as a Analyst and "Scrum Master" = Project Manager.
     
    Last edited: Nov 3, 2018
  6. nalek

    nalek Fapstronaut

    Day 4 (5 streak)
    After so much work, we concentrated in fix the issues than apeared during the day, not much more to say about that.
    At the afternoon i went to see my psychologist (i go every week) and we start talking about the root of my sexual issues, going to the situation i had since i was a kid and understanding them. That was a interesting and fun conversation.
    At night i went to dance (i go to dance classes once a week) and went back to home.

    In my house, after having a dinner, i went to my computer and watched funny sex videos to distract... and a couple of minutes after i relapsed. I don´t feel bad about that, but i am trying to understand how this happened.
    Let´s start again tomorrow.
     
    Last edited: Nov 3, 2018
  7. nalek

    nalek Fapstronaut

    Day 5 (1 streak)
    I worked in my house today and made the same things than yesterday (worked in issues fixing haha). The problem about that day was i relapsed in the middle of my work hours (fortunately i was in my house) because i was boring and wanted to make the time happen (the moment was in the middle of a boring meeting).
    When i finished my day, i went to get a hair cut (which was not the best i get during the year) and went back to home.
    At some point i was like sad because the relapse (i felt like a failure), but i wanted to do someting to feel better. So i cleaned my house (apartment) during the night and watched a couple of Bojack Horseman episodes to go to sleep.

    After that sad moments, i could manage myselft to feel more useful and have a good night.
     
    Last edited: Nov 3, 2018
  8. nalek

    nalek Fapstronaut

    Day 6 (1 streak)
    I slept many hours this time (around 12) because it was saturday and i was tired from the week. I almost didn´d do anything productive in the entire day (i played witcher 3, watched the las Bojack's season and went to eat a hamburger for dinner).
    My urge to watch porn was calm today, so i wasn´t in danger from a relapse for today.
    I felt like i didn´t do anything useful the entire day... but it is ok because a worked the entired week and spent the night before cleaning my house (it is clean and beautiful).
    At the night i worked in some designs for a project to finish that phase and keep moving to the other project tomorrow.

    I know i have responsabilities related to the project i am part of, but also i deserve a day to just do nothing and rest.
     
    Last edited: Nov 3, 2018
  9. nalek

    nalek Fapstronaut

    Thanks man, i think i have to go outside more often haha. I have some things to do, so that´s a good point to start working.
    I am currently working in a desktop app with a friend (i am a web developer) and studying to become a software analyst (our final project for this year is develop a small app and i am the analyst of the group), so i can say i have things to keep busy for a time hahaha.

    Thanks for the support. If you have other advises, please tell me.
     
  10. nalek

    nalek Fapstronaut

    Day 7 (2 streak)
    I started early this morning going to the house of my parents (were i usted to live until i moved to another city) and watched a football game with my dad.
    After that i had lunch and went to see my grandmother to watch some episodes (we love watch criminal minds together).
    When i went back from my grandmother's house, i talked with my dad about our relationships and other stuff... this was the first real talk we had as father and son since i was a teen (at least 10 years ago). I feel this talk was a start to build a father-son relationship from another angle (now i am living by my own and having a relationship, i reall want to have him close to talk about my doubts and listen to his wisdom).

    Now i am in my home, making the dinner (and the lunch for tomorrow) and i feel calm after this first week.
    I know i have some things to work about myselft (not only the projects for this 2 months, but also the issues related to my life so i can move on and have a better relationship).
     
    Last edited: Nov 3, 2018
  11. nalek

    nalek Fapstronaut

    Day 8 (3 streak)
    I started a new week with certain calm in the work because we didn´t have the pressure of the last week, so i could read about some news to understand how to improve my finances and economy.
    Besides that, i concentrated as much as i can making analysis for my studies group development and testing the new application functionalities (so we can deliver the best possible outcome to our teacher).

    One thing i want to say is today was a harder day than the last ones to contain my desire of masturbate... i didn´t watch porn, but i watched somes images from the 9gag's "not for kids" section (because is the ligthest way to see some girls without go for the porn).
    So far, i am doing well and i don´t feel tired of resist the temptation (so far hahaha).
     
    Last edited: Nov 3, 2018
  12. nalek

    nalek Fapstronaut

    Day 9 (4 streak)
    Today was a particullary tough day to control my desire/hunger of masturbation. May be was so because i came to home tired from the work (we had a meeting the last hour of our schedule). I tried to rest some minutes so i could keep working on one of the projects,. But while i was editing a document which we are going to present tomorrow, i felt the need of watch porn (this time was a notorius need of) and tried to listen to music and see 9gag to control myself.

    This time was close to break my streak, so i gonna need to use another idea to let the hunger pass for that moment and concentrate in my duty.
    Those days are difficult, but i think (and hope) this feeling will be temporal.
     
    Last edited: Nov 3, 2018
  13. nalek

    nalek Fapstronaut

    Day 10 (5 streak)
    From the morning to an hour after the lunch was a calm day, without much thing to highlight. The good stuff began after my lunch, where my team mate and me were asked to make a complicated change in the system we are working on and if we could deliver it in 2 days. After i said "it will be really complicated to make it in such time", our leaders said "then do as much as you two can" and we started to make the analysis before change the code.
    After the work, i had classes until the night i had a few bucks in my pocket to buy only a thing, so i bougth a bottle of juice and i reunited with my group of studies.
    We gave our last improvement to the teacher (adding a much better documentation and some graphics which se asked) and she said at the end of the class that our group is so far the best assembled and the best organizated. That was the response i was waiting for, a call that we are doing it well and our effort worth in those last weeks.

    After i went back to my home, i had not energy to write about the day. So i only want to resume it in this phrase: "It worth it".
     
    Last edited: Nov 3, 2018
  14. nalek

    nalek Fapstronaut

    Day 11 (6 streak)
    I began with only one idea, give all my energy in my work hours and make a difference with our progress. At the end of the day my team mate and me delivered more than our work's half, that is what i call give results when we are challenged.
    At the afternoon i had the weekly meeting with my physchologist, where we talked about some things that could be the reason that why i am having this kind of issues.
    And at the night, i had dance classes and went back to my house.

    Now than i am writing my today and yesterday's log, i feel i want to make a mistake (masturbate) because.... i don't know. I have a kind of hunger for... skin... warmness and love. I am tired from the week (even thought i feel happy because i am having progress in the things i am working on) and i want to rest in my girls lap and remember what is that thing that makes you want to keep doing the things you do.
    But no, this will not be that day.
     
    Last edited: Nov 3, 2018
  15. nalek

    nalek Fapstronaut

    Day 12 (7 streak)
    After 7 hours working we could finish what our leaders asked and be could rest for this week... but we had to stay a couple of more hours to verify the job (really??). When we have been finally released, i went out to a company's party to chill after a long week and i go back to my home after some hours.

    This time the hunger was lesser, but i am still missing her and when i get some messages from her, i got tired.. but not to masturbate, if not then having something that could releave me from the week's stress.
     
  16. nalek

    nalek Fapstronaut

    Day 13 (8 streak)
    I started with a sadness which was difficult of get over for a couple of hours while i tried to not masturbate, it was a harsh morning for my feelings.
    But i could manage to resist the hunger by a little (i almost broke the streak, for a couple of seconds this time). This is like my lowest moment, where even a good coffee or my favourite dinner didn´t work to cheer me up, but it help me to rest my mind for some moments.
    The good thing of today was that i cleaned my house for the next week and i went to see an old friend to help him with some tech stuff (and talked a lot during the afternoon).
    Now i am in my home, writing a report for the school project and with little sad feeling about my relationship, today we couldn´t get a good conversation (in one moment i said a thing with no emoji/expression and made the mood more tense between us)... i miss her, i miss look at her face and hear her voice, i miss solve the things face to face, not through a screen where i always send the wrong message when i write it.

    Some days are hard to pass, but it pass anyway. I know i can make it better tomorrow.
     
  17. nalek

    nalek Fapstronaut

    Day 12 (9 streak)
    I started my day early going to my parent´s home, having a lunch with them and after going to see my grandmother. By the afternoon i went to one of my friends house to catch up (we didn´t see us since a month ago) to go back to my home at the night.
    I tried to start again a good conversation with my girl, but i sensed her a little bit cold or distant, but she kept talking to me... i feel we are not getting better since the last thursday and we are getting tired.
    Besies that, i went back calmed because i left my house nice and clean for the week, so i saved the need of cleaning and organize.

    The hunger is getting weaker so far, i watcher pornhub for 2 minutes before sleep and i get bored, that is a change.
     
  18. nalek

    nalek Fapstronaut

    Day 13 (10 streak)
    I had a good morning in work without trouble for my assigned tasks, the most part of it i made it the last week.
    While i was working, i start talking with my girlfriend about some thing what happened during the weekend and i felt she was getting less cold to me. That was the feeling until the last minutes of my work hours, where i said something that bottered her and said than i was been bad with her. At that point (starting the last thursday) i didn´t have the feel of shut her up or get pissed, i only said to her "Ok, i understand" and i left the conversation to have a last minute meeting with the team.
    After the work, i met with my father and get a long talk about many things (relationships, parenthood and past) and ended talking about what i feelings i had with him when i was a kid (talking without hate, pain or disgust). Having that talk was one of the bigest things i wanted so much for so long, but i always felt that i was never prepared for express my feelings in that way... until now.
    My hunger is not so high like several days ago, but i saw some videos... and i didn´t have the desire of masturbate, my days are changing.

    I think i have some things to talk to my girl that could be difficult and i am a little scared about the result, but i also think that after this talk, i can have these kind of situation in the future.
     
  19. nalek

    nalek Fapstronaut

    Day 14 (11 streak)
    Since the last week, my days at work become less stressing for the team and for me (thanks god for this peace), so i could resolve some things about my economics and other boring stuff.
    After the work, i went to see the client than my partner in this project and i have for a small software we are developing but we have several delays. After a long talk to catch up, we resolved to renew the deliver date for the next year. When my friend and i left the client´s house, we went to a pub to drink some beers and talk about our things, resolving that we can´t slow down ourselves about this project and have to work so we can rest the most we could.

    The bad part of the day was my last conversation with my girlriend, the one i left with the phrase "Ok, i understand". When i saw that my girl sended a message (than she deleted a couple of hours later), i said to her "i think we are having some comunication issues since the last week and when i say some phrase to you, our mood gets whorse, so the best for us maybe is just no talking for some days". She was agree with that deal and i didn´t answer to stop any possible conversation (i don´t know if it was the best ending for that moment, but i just wanted to calm the things out).

    At night, i tried to watch some porn (as the last nights) but i am not finding it interesting at all..... i mean, is nice to see the videos, but my reaction has become neutral in the sexual way, like i am losing the interest in them. Maybe is a signal of change.
     
  20. nalek

    nalek Fapstronaut

    Day 15 (12 streak)
    My work day was boring almost the whole day, so i made some tasks related to my studies group (organizing the documentation).
    In the university, i could get some answers related to other documentation i have to send to my teachers the next weeks and what we have to see for the next classes.

    About my hunger, it still calmed when i tried to watch porn (that´s the compulsion to do it when i am tired or woried about something), thats something i will talk with my physchologist tomorrow.
     

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