A Hooker Changed My Life (I hope)

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by spunkor, Aug 27, 2016.

  1. spunkor

    spunkor New Fapstronaut

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    I've been a porn addict for about 15 years since a relationship ended badly. After the breakup, I became a recluse and my life consisted of little more than work, video games, and porn. Ironically, I always worried I might be a video game addict and was never concerned about the porn.

    To make a long story short, I eventually developed a fetish probably related to the bad breakup. I've always been very ashamed of this obsession. It's very confusing and it makes no sense to me. But it was the only porn that turned me on and it grew increasingly harder to scratch my itch. Recently I got desperate and tried to satisfy the fantasy by "role playing" with a prostitute.

    I thought it would be a mind blowing experience to have a real woman acting out the fantasy I had masturbated to online so many times. She was beautiful and perfect for the role; I was living my dream but instead of fireworks I got fizzle.

    Fortunately she was very understanding and we discussed both my fetish and my lack of performance in a more clinical sense. She helped me realize where the fetish had originated and that it was all just in my head. Then we then tried some vanilla stuff and had better luck but I was definitely seeing the effects of all that masturbation by then.

    On my way out she said she's seen my problem before and told me about nofap. I went there dragging rock bottom and left with a spark of hope and confidence. Not because I got laid but rather because I didn't and I now realize why.

    That was a few days ago and since then I've spent more time thinking about the consequences of my porn addiction than I have porn. It bothers me that I sunk so low I went to a prostitute but I think the experience may have changed my life.
     
  2. Thats an interesting story. And yes, it probably is due to porn addiction. Wow. Good luck man!
     
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  3. IWANTABETTERLIFE

    IWANTABETTERLIFE Fapstronaut

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    I am here typing and at the same time crying.

    please everyone who is on here and you know that you have a problem please take the time to read this. I hope that everyone that does read this will change there mind on the next time they want to watch porn. Porn to escort can happen to anyone and i know for a fact that porn was the stepping stone for me on hiring escorts. I wish for all the guys here who are just porn addicts to take a look at themselves and know that theres more to life than a screen. For the men out here that had hire escorts i advise you to stop immediately and see how my life of destruction.


    Day #1 was a fail i went into PPH and i waited for 3 1/2 hours for a walk in, then left. I have an appointment today at 2:45 which no matter what im going to. Ive been getting symptoms of white discharge and burning feeling while peeing. I am having the most anxiety of my life. This is all spiraling down. I even tried to sell my soul to the devil if i come out clean i would be willing to sell my soul to him. Im literally losing myself. I dont even know how i would explain to my partner. Like i just harmed the person that i say i love and myself. This is such a turning point in my life where i know for a fact that im never going to have porn/escort ruining my life. I have hit the bottom so hard that i am just sick of it. I thought about suicide a couple of times which im sure everyone would come across if they were in my situation. My birthday is tomorrow and all i wish for is to be clean.

    i hope that this will show you and others how porn can escalate into fantasies and merge from porn to escort in reality and the cause of this train reaction can destroy a person and other around them.

    I have woken up from this sick fantasy and now i dont know what to think....i just feel lost, alone, and ashamed.
     
  4. IWANTABETTERLIFE

    IWANTABETTERLIFE Fapstronaut

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    DO NOT DO IT AGAIN! PLEASE STOP RIGHT AWAY WITH PORN AND PROSTITUTE.
     
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  5. Monkey81

    Monkey81 Fapstronaut

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    By your symptoms, you have one of the more common and treatable STD's. You are past the point of hoping to not have it. Cancel your (2:45 no matter what I'm going to) and get on antibiotics asap. I am assuming that you had bareback sex with hookers?
     
  6. lukasz.luk

    lukasz.luk Fapstronaut

    I had maybe similar situation, but it's Coincidence I hope.

    I went to girl whose taking money for sex, but with chosen and she's very pretty and nice. Despite sex I talked with her a lot and at the end she was angry that i didn't finish. I came back after few hours, finally done (both, she has O 4+ times). Meanwhile I discovered this forum and recognized that problem i spoke with her and now keeping in touch with her not only about sex. It's more complicated but just telling her about my problems giving me calm, maybe because we are quite similar to each other and has same point of view for many cases...
    Otherwise (she's a nympho) now I have a person who I can discreet and without shame ask about things connected with sex or Mens behaviuors etc. Maybe not about sizes, but for example how long usually "it" lasts, how many guys can make it more than once and her answers giving me calm, because most of Mens aren't good in bed as they advertise... curing my complexes now.

    Worst thing that I am little jealous about her. Will see how it goes
     
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