-_BEWARE the edge and the long cycle_-

I have the same pattern with binging for many hours every couple of weeks before i joined nofap a few days ago. I agree this is a sign of addiction but its a cycle that can be broken.

 

Sounds like me :O!!! Thanks for putting the fact in my face; need to really break through for once and for all.

 

Sounds like me as well

 

I am currently in my third year and my experience has been similar to yours. First year was tough, many relapses. Second year i managed over 400 days up until about 2 months ago when i relapsed. I have been stuck in the cycle again but now i feel like im just coming back out again.

Keep going man we will get there

 

Exactly what happened to me... caused me to become much more addicted and watch shit I never thought about...

These past 3 weeks I've got a perfect streak, but man my body is really throwing everything at me to try to get me to relapse. At least I recognise that ANY urge to look at any kind of artifical sexual stimulation is just a pathetic ruse. I've completely got control of myself. It's the knowledge that nofap is working that has kept me going. It's definitely worth it too... just for peace of mind.

 

This is correct and i've been trying to warn people about the "streaks" thinking... a streak is irrelevant if you end up binging for hours and multiple times per day (binging includes sex fantasizing with no touching). A person with a 2 week streak and a 5 minute wank is less of a severe case than a person with 2 months streak that relapses in a day 3 times and keeps himself aroused for hours with porn or sex fantasizing. By the logic of "streaks" the second guy is "better" cause he masturbated less (3 times in 2 months compared to 4 times in 2 months) and because he had a longer streak. In reality, the second guy is worse.

"Streaks" just give you the illusion of progress.

A correct evaluation of pmo addiction should include streak + time spent on a fap + time spent aroused + binging behavior + viewing behavior (multiple scenes should count as binge too).

Edging+abstinence reinforces the habit and this is what i've been trying to explain in my "you have to watch porn to stop watching porn" topic

 

This makes me so much sene and unfrotuantely i am a horrible long-edging person when it goes wrong... definitely good insight that this is truly serious business and need to break for once and all.

 

Been there done that. My max was an 8 hour edging session and most faps in one day were something like 6 or so.

 

When , you mean edging, do you mean purposefully arousing oneself? I think it's natural to wake up in the morning and find myself aroused. But lately I have been tempted to stay aroused and actively fantisize to prolong my arousal. I think that's un-natural and dangerous to my recovery. I spent a bout 4 hours yesterday morning, immersing myself in fantasy which led me to look up porn substitutions on my phone to purposely keep myself aroused. I was sick with a hangover, which I believe definately weakened my willpower to pull my brain from out of the gutter. Do you believe edging reinforces my addiction? The quote "Streaks just give the illusion of Progress" is difficult for me to accept, however I understand it and agree with it. I hope to distract myself from "edging" in the future by drinking less and taking a more active role in rebooting/recovery. I'll try to do some push ups, take a shower, anything to fend off these natural morning arousals which might get out of hand, If I let them.

 

Yes, because edging is a way of saying that the act of self arousal and self stimulation is very valuable to you and that no matter how much you abstain (a streak), you will eventually end up doing it and prolong it because it's so good and desirable.

Random reinforcement is the most powerful way to reinforce a habit.

@NamaClature14 described it good with the "scarcity" mindset.

 

Day 18.

No motivation quote today. Yesterday after writing so much of inspirational content I opened youtube and watched some videos. Now my mind was dopamine deprived and any thumbnail which objectified women allured me, so I started watching some photoshoot videos, and it was after the day had just begun. Now my brain got filled with dopamine and I was dying to watch some more. But thanks to my traps which I have set up for vulnerable times worked and I struggled through the day to eventually let those feelings wane away. I switched off my macbook, and in my phone I have disabled Youtube, have Mozilla Firefox browser with no pictorial content option switched on, and I slept in the afternoon to remove my mind with filth, hit the gym in the evening because I slept in the afternoon I slept late in the night, and in the after math could not wake up early today hence could not go for a run also. But the good news is I did not fall, no relapse.
So what to learn from this incident. I am vulnerable. I need to have a stronger regime for moments like these. And the most important part, these moments will come more often when I will progress more in this abstinent journey of nofap. I will describe what my mind was saying to me, "forget it lets begin from day0". If you read my previous journal entries you will get an impression for me that I am such a learned person and I am in full control of conscience but no, every one gets weak on knees and quitting seems easy but the one who hangs in becomes a legend. I did not watch anything explicit but still some photoshoot videos filled my mind with filth and I wanted to fap so badly which I have been doing for whole my life. Its not going to be easy I am proud I did not gave up and I am adamant that I wont in the future as well. But in case I did, I have a resilient attitude, sometimes I feel I must fap without watching anything explicit but it wont work that way it will be a relapse.
So I ask people those who have achieved 100+, 500+ of this journey to tell me their regime how they were strong in their journey. I need help.

 

I can relate to that... Periods of abstinence followed by binges and edging. I really believe that it makes the addiction worse. And its very difficult to break the cycle. This time i will try a different approach and hopefully it will work.