90 Days NoFap (Video)

Hi everyone,

I finally made the 90 days NoFap challenge. I've been trying ever since early 2014 so this is a big success for me. I have another account on these forums called Ferdydurke but I'm not able to rest my password, so I've created this new account to post this. To celebrate a made a video you can watch it if you like, it's an in-depth look at the why you should do the challenge and also on how to accomplish it:


Below is the text of the video if you rather read it, in the video I do show the daily calendar I used to achieve the goal of 90 days NoFap this was a critical part of my success, you can skip to 26:22 in the video if you want to see what such a daily calendar could look like.

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Introduction
Today I’ve completed my 90 days NoFap challenge. This is a very big thing for me as I’ve been on and off of NoFap since 2014 and I never managed to complete the 90 days. In fact my previous best result of NoFap was only about 32 days. In this video I want to focus on the question how I managed to complete the challenge and a little less on why you should or shouldn’t do it. There are so many NoFap videos out there that explain why you should do It. (53 sec)

So I’ve been trying this challenge since early 2014 and I was never able to complete it until today. What happened, what changed? I’ll explain in detail how I was able to complete it but before I do so I have to go into some explaining between what I call positive and negative actions.

Positive Actions and Negative Actions
An action per definition is doing or performing something. This can be running, swimming, building a car, following a course on software developing. It can also be sitting on a chair, sleeping, lying on bed and also fapping. Just because something is considered passive doesn’t mean it isn’t an action. That is one thing.

If we call those things actions, what I would call a negative action be? Well of course it would be not-running, not swimming, not building a car… not fapping.

And lastly what would a positive action be? Positive action wouldn’t be anything different from an action. The only reason I think of ‘positive actions’ is because it implies the negative actions we just spoke about. So from now one we only have positive and negative actions.

Last remark to this is that positive actions aren’t per definition good for you. Think of eating a pizza everyday, this is what I would consider a positive action, it is something you do rather than something you don’t do. So we understand positive and negative not in a moral sense but rather in an ontological, philosophical sense.

The examined life
Now we get to the good part. I think we all know the saying of Socrates “The examined life is not worth living”. I’m going to use this phrase to explain why the concept of negative actions is important to understand. A lot of people in life just do things as they go. They don’t plan their lives in advance, they often don’t plan what they’ll do next weekend or even that very same day. These people live an examined life because they don’t think of the concept of negative actions, what not to do, in their lives. They’ll either go to party, or if they don’t go to party they’ll watch Netflix. These types of people mostly have a lot of friends because boredom is their worst enemy. They’ll hang out with friends and this will increase the impulsiveness of their actions as there are more agents involved in the decision making of what to do and how to act.

Of course it’s possible you’ll do activities with friends, you’ll go on vacation, you’ll go hiking, you run a marathon, you could even discuss literature etc. That’s all good, but that requires some form of planning. I’m not talking about that as being examined. It’s when you hang out with friends and just do whatever you do, you might watch this movie but just as well another movie, and when you go on vacation you might as well eat here now or there later, or you might go to the beach or rather sit in a bar etc. When you live impulsive like this and you leave your decision making to the present, the very moment you decide what to do is always in the moment for these people. They live hedonistic lives because the only consideration they make about the positive actions they do is whether the feel like acting like this or that in that very moment, the present. It’s easy to see which people live like this simply by looking at how happy they or on Fridays because it’s the weekend, it’s the ‘free’ time, the time they can do whatever they want to do in the moment. The time goes faster they say as the time flies when they have fun or rather when they feel good.

The problem with this short term, it’s not even short term is it, it’s just no-term thinking, but the problem with this is that you actually train your laziness and by that become lazy on a rational level. Let’s take an example of a man who lies in bed all day and only faps sometimes and eats and then sleeps and so on. He is still doing things, as said he is still performing what we called positive actions. It’s impossible for a human being not to act, as you’re always doing something, even sleeping, even dying are actions I would say. If we understand the power to discipline yourself as a muscle, like a muscle in your arm you can contract and relax and train in doing so. If we understand discipline like that, what would this man do to this muscle, he’d relax it as much as possible and be as lazy as possible, even getting out of bed and into the shower is a real mission for him. His overall condition is in the weakest state possible.
Now imagine this man is sick of his laziness and starts working out, he’s going for a run, or even a walk everyday and he is trying his discipline muscle just a little bit everyday, he’s making progress! But now thing of an athlete, think of usaine bolt or whomever, he is an athlete because he trains his body and brain to be as strong as possible so he can run as fast as possible, what if Usain Bolt would do the same workout as our lazy man who starts walking everyday, Usain Bolt would lose muscle and stop being an athlete eventually because a simple walk or run a day doesn’t make one an athlete. My point is the amount of training you require to train your brain and body and your discipline muscle as we defined it is relative to what you did in the past, what your actual condition is at this very moment. I’ve you’re a lazy overweight weak minded individual and you want to become more disciplined you shouldn’t start out as strong as an athlete.

I’m not saying we should all become athletes, not physically at least. But mentally, discipline wise, relative to the condition you are in right now, you should want to be an athlete. You should at least see the benefit of being disciplined and in an healthy condition.

My own condition
Now we finally get to the NoFap part. I’ll give a some information about myself so you know where I’m standing, what my condition was and is now after this challenge. I’m in my late twenties now, I learned about NoFap 4 years ago. Before that I’d been fapping almost everyday for about 10 years I would say. Even worse I was into something called prone masturbation where you lie on your stomach and thrust your penis in an object instead of regular masturbation. This is a major contributor to Erectile Disfunctioning for people who don’t know it. You do it because you crave heavy stimulation to your member. I’ve been addicted to porn for those 10 years. When I was young I would Fap to my imagination of real girls I knew but as I got older and fapped more Porn replaced this imagination I was using and in the end I was so addicted to porn I was actually fapping to be able to watch to porn and not the other way around. This might sound strange to some but, I would fap so often that it start to physically hurt, just because I wanted that dopamine rush from watching porn.
I have always, however, disliked porn. I know this must sound even stranger, but I have always thought of porn as something decadent and bad. I was just so depressed and I hated life and myself that I gave into temption each and every single day for about 10 years. I was living an hedonistic life in the sense we discussed earlier in this video, whenever I got an urge to fap and I was at home I would because there was nothing stopping me etc.
Some other things I can tell about myself. I’ve always been rather thin and pretty tall. I’m not a virgin but I’m still very bad with girls and women, and as you can see by my channel name I’m MGTOW. But that’s a different topic. I would say I’m rather intelligent but I don’t think IQ or intellect is the end-all-be-all people often make it out to be. And in NoFap we know your brain works against you. For people who’ve frequented the NoFap forums you can probably relate to the concept of ‘rationalizations’. Your brain will talk you into fapping because it’s addicted to porn and or masturbation. Here we can see why NoFap is so difficult for heavy addicts because you’ve been training your reward system to be satisfied almost instantly with every urge. Then it’s very hard to not satisfy it at all especially when the cravings come and the urges and then you have the triggers of modern times and of course the internet. Porn addiction, just like any other addiction is probably accompanied by some form of depression and if you take the fapping away there is the god awful flat line of emotions because you don’t receive any emotional rewards anymore.

One last thing I like to say about myself is that I was also a have drinker for also the past 10 years of my life. To my surprise however stopping drinking came a lot easier to me than stop fapping to porn. I thought it would be more difficult to quit drinking because there is a social aspect to drinking and your friends and family will see you stopped doing something and they will make remarks about it. Hell, you can lose friends over quitting drinking. Nobody, on the other hand, knew I was addicted to porn. They might see changes in me after I’ve stopped but there would be no way for them to determine if this was because of me quitting porn. It’s even difficult to say that about yourself. I think of porn as a very elementary addiction because in the end you only need internet access, you don’t need a lot of money like for cocaine or heroine, you don’t need to go to shop to buy a substance, you can do it basically everywhere at every time.

My journey
Now, let’s get on to the actual journey. I was fapping to make myself feel good, then in 2014 I encountered NoFap somewhere on the internet. Of course at first I thought it was a lot of nonsense but when I tried it and actually started to feel different, I started to feel the superpowers the Fapstronatus were talking about, then I knew there was something to it. And it’s at this point I would say that the inception of the concept of a negative action takes place. The idea that you should rather not do something, to act on some urge to do something. This is a huge glitch in a matrix, it’s lightening in the dark that illuminates the sky for a fraction of a second so you can see clear for a very brief moment. The point I’m trying to make is that, once you have this inception of the idea of NoFap (for example) you can’t unlearn this. You can only make rationalizations to trick yourself into thinking you haven’t learned something from examining your live, you can live a lie no problem, but you can’t actually fool yourself, you can’t be dumber than you actually are. I’m not saying NoFap is the be all end all of solutions for you life, on the contrary it’s just one addiction it’s only one part of a bigger whole, but it’s a very important one because as I’ve explained Fapping is one of the most, if not the most, elementary addictions at least in modern western world because of the access to porn. With elementary I mean you don’t need anything to fap, only a penis. You don’t even need hands as we’ve seen with prone masturbation.

So in 2014 when I started my challenge I made the classic mistake of thinking of NoFap as the be all and end all of my problems. All my issues where related to my porn addiction I thought, and if I simply would stop fapping, introducing this concept of a negative action in my life, all other things would become better eventually. At this point I was very blue pilled about women and female nature. Before I made this video I just looked up some of my older posts on the NoFap forum and saw how I, like many others on the forum, was basically doing NoFap to be able to get better with women. Now there is another big problem right here in thinking all your issues will be solved when you get with a woman, it’s the problem of persona where you dedicate your whole existence to ‘one’ thing, one career, one relationship, one ideal and when that career fails, your relationship breaks up or your ideals are shattered, then you don’t only lose that very thing but your whole reason to live. Ronin Man made a video about this, I’ll link it in the description. For now I’m moving on. In 2014 I thought NoFap was the life hack I needed and I started abstaining form porn. But that was basically the only thing I did. So the only thing I did was introduce this one negative action in my life and said to myself, whatever happens don’t Fap. Of course I went into a flat line of emotions, something went wrong sometimes and I couldn’t resist to fap just to make me feel less depressed. I relapsed so many times and got so discouraged that eventually I stop NoFap altogether against better knowing.

Addictions
Then a couple of years later, a lot had happened in my life but I was still a depressed alcoholic hedonist. I started watching some videos on self improvement. Also the NoFap Forum provided helpful information and made me think more holistically about my life. It was not just porn that was my problem, but my lack of discipline in general. I had trained myself to be lazy. I remember that at one point I was talking to a friend who was struggling to quit smoking. In secret I was thinking of my porn addiction and I felt I could relate to him on that struggle. But he said, without me mentioning my porn addiction, that I would probably not be able to understand his struggle to quit smoking because I didn’t smoke myself. In fact what he said was ‘what would you know about addictions’.

This made me really think about myself and my life because at that point in my life I was very depressed and I basically hated myself because I considered myself very weak. And here was this friend of mine saying I didn’t have any addictions. Then I made a list of things I thought I was addicted to, the list consisted of: porn, alcohol, energy drinks, coffee, internet, watching football, junk food.

This set off a new period where I introduced more and more negative actions in my life. I wanted to quit drinking alcohol/energy drinks/coffee at once, and stop watching porn, stop fapping, stop being on the internet 24/7 and on social media, stop watching every football game because It was so time consuming and stop eating junk food. Of course this only made the flatline worse and my life more miserable in general and simply just switched between addictions, I wouldn’t watch porn for one week but then in relapse, then I would think ‘well at least I didn’t drink any alcohol’ but then there was another party and I began drinking again and I would say ‘at least I didn’t drink an energy drink today’, these same rationalizations kept returning. This was a frightening point in my life where I was actually getting worse and worse at containing myself and all of my addictions.

Then finally 2017 arrived and I got my first full time job. A big part of my problem was that I always had too much time on my hands. And as we’ve discussed with the hedonistic life style there are a lot of opportunities to relapse when you constantly only live in the moment. Every waking second you’ll need to be able to resist an urge when you live like that. But now I started working and at work I didn’t have time to fap obviously and this made it easier for me to say at least I won’t fap during week days, In my brain it would be like I had only 2 moments during a week day in which I could relapse, before and after work. So that would be 10 a week and if you did something after work one day only 9 etc etc.

A lot of MGTOW channels say you should strive for financial freedom which basically means not working for a company as that is some sort of contract and your dependent upon your employer whether you have work or not. I agree that on the long run you should strive to be independent of any company or government, at least as independent as you can be. But if your condition, as we spoke about, is that of an overweight, lazy, weak minded person then working 9-5 will probably do you good in the sense that it will at least train you to work a set amount of hours a day. So I think these MGTOW channels like MGTOW Money are absolutely right in giving advise on how to use money to become financially independent an retire early, not because you’re lazy and don’t want to work, but because you don’t want to be a slave of some company. They’re absolutely right, but before you escape the plantation you should not only plan how you escape but also where you would go to and what would you do. Only if you’re discipline and have ambition, have skills to make your own business or at least occupy your free time with actions that train your discipline muscle instead of simply relaxing it, only then you should go through with the escape. Imagine if Clint Eastwood would’ve tried to escape Alcatraz in that movie before he finished digging the tunnel, it would be a short lived rebellion not an actual escape.

Setting life goals
Realizing this in early 2018 I did what I had never done before in my entire life. I asked myself what I actually wanted to do with my life on the long term. It’s strange I’m in my late twenties I’ve already completed my college degree, I already have a job that pays well but still I haven’t thought what I want to do. Notice that having achieved these things and still asking this question implies they were never a goal in themselves in the first place. I wasn’t overtly happy when I graduated, I thought it was something everyone had done or would do. I was happy when I got my job but only because it made me independent of my family. So in April 2018 I set some goals, and made them very easy to understand at least. You can watch the first video on this channel as that contains the actual plan I’ve made for myself.

There are four points, the first is to do an TEFL course and get a certificate to teach English abroad. I actually achieved that and got my certificate last week. The second point was to learn Japanese and/or follow a course in Japanese. I’ve been studying Japanese ever since April and I think I’ve risen from the absolute beginner level to beginner. I can read Hiragana and Katagana, I know about 200 Kanji characters, I can make simple sentences, I know verb conjugation and asking questions etc. The third point in my plan was to actually get an JLPT certificate, a proof of my Japanese language skill. And the fourth point in my plan was to do a software development course. My current company agreed to pay for the course as it will also benefit them so I’m on track of this plan. I hope to actually complete it next year and then I’ll look to move to Japan. First as a teacher to not only learn Japanese in theory but rather also in practice and then I would want to either find a job in software developing or rather start my own business but that’s in the far far future. Notice how all these skills I would develop would make me less dependent on the company I’m working for now and the country I’m living in right now. If the left wing will proceed with their razzia I can still escape to Japan.

The actual 90 days
On the 8th of April I fapped for the last time. I set out a routine for myself I started working out, meditate every day, take cold showers, I started cooking my own food instead of buying junk food and I started walking 10000 steps every day. Today it’s the 7th of July and that marks the 90th day of NoFap. And I started reading everyday. During this period I didn’t watch any porn at all, I didn’t masturbate at all, I actually only touched my penis during washing or peeing. I can only remember 3 times when I actually had urges to fap but in general I was too busy to be bother even thinking about sexual stuff. And that is the key point to NoFap. You should consider your brain as a wild monkey or child that is immature and has to be disciplined. The easiest way is not to sit still and quietly hope the monkey child will behave, but it’s to keep it occupied, be pro-active and make sure what you occupy it with will make it more mature, stronger, more like an athlete. You won’t relapse when you don’t think about sex, and you don’t think about it when you are too busy to think about it because you’re occupied with other, more important matters. I can seriously say that I’m able to ban out all sexual thoughts from my brain for almost all of the times now.

- here I show my calendar in the video, it's a 26:22 minutes in the video -

Conclusion
So the big epiphany I had concerning NoFap was not about NoFap at all. NoFap is not the be all and all. It was only when I started introducing positive actions in my life: working out 3 times a week, but exercising every day, walking 10000 steps everyday, meditating everyday, taking cold showers everyday, etc It was only then that I had a pretty easy time on NoFap. I do have to say the flat line is still there and during the most of the time of this 90 days I’ve still been feeling very depressed. But It’s undeniable that I’ve made a lot of progress and the important thing is this progress is actually easy to proof to myself. I can read basic Japanese, I couldn’t do that before, I got a promotion at work, I became muscular to the point people saw this change in me even when I had clothes on, I got my TEFL certificate. I am moving forward.

I hope you found some use in this video. It’s something I thought I would never be able to make because I never thought I would actually succeed in this challenge. But what do you know here we are. Have a nice day!

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