90+ days no P&M

Hello everyone. I've watched my first adult material maybe at the age of 12 and I've consumed that media regularly since then. I'm 24 years old now and I started NoFap maybe something around a year ago, I can't quite remember. I've had a few streaks among the lines of 10~20 days, one of 84 days and my current streak which is 94 days. On all these streaks, I've abstained from porn and masturbation. I've been in a relationship for ~4.5 years. I'd like to reflect on the benefits I've experienced and some of the lessons I've learnt.

Benefits

• Enhanced confidence: I've never been a shy person to be honest. Maybe I didn't feel like meeting new people but that wasn't much of an issue either. However, during a strong streak, I feel more honest with myself. Sometimes I feel like politely just speaking the truth, even if it might hurt others or make me unpopular. I feel a stronger connection with myself.
• Dreams: During a streak, I easily wake up and remember the dreams I had during that night. That is something I had very rarely experienced before NoFap.
• Emotions: When listening to music I really feel it. I feel power when listening to certain songs. I feel the beat. When watching a sad movie, it touches me. I feel more empathy for myself and others.
• Attraction: I've caught girls checking me out. I've also made friendships with females. It's not an issue neither is it perverted. It's just having fun and talking

Habits implemented that help me keep going with NoFap

• Creating and reviewing a plan: I made a plan which consists of reasons I do this, threats that may make me relapse (e.g. stress, nudity online etc), tools, software and commitments (e.g. OpenDNS, Browsing Mode, Night regulations, Check-Ins, Workload limitation, scheduling, writing a journal, gateways of last resort (e.g. H.A.L.T or a cold shower)). I've also written the consequences of non-compliance. If anyone I'd like me to get into details here, feel free to ask.
• Connections: I talk with accountability partners on a daily basis. I talk about urges experienced. I talk about new methods implemented or changes on my plan. I think it's very important to stay connected with other people.
• Workouts: I workout using a push-pull-legs body weight routine. Whenever I feel an urge, a workout makes it vanish. It's also one of my "gateways of last resort".
• Meditation: I meditate on a weekly basis.
• Learning a new language: I've kept a learning "streak" along my NoFap streak.
• Rewards: I use an app called "Incentive" which lets me set goals, tasks and rewards. Each tasks completed gives me points and reaching a goals does so too. I can then "buy" a reward with points. I think this helps me staying focused on healthy habits.

closing words and look out for the future
Connections are crucial. People who are connected with others, whether it is via a messaging app, a call or meeting in real life, don't relapse. That's what I'm always working on and hope to keep on doing so. I'd like to keep my focus on healthy habits and connections. If you have any questions, feel free to ask.


Edit: I managed to get to 150 days and then I relapsed. My mistake was getting to a point where I didn't think "I'll do x or y" but instead I was thinking "I don't want to fap". I let the urges build up, even though I was connected with other people on a daily basis. In other words, I lost my focus for healthy habits and that was the biggest mistake. I hope this helps someone.

 

I agree. In the past I probably wasn't looking but now I do.

Nice seeing others experiencing this too. It's like relapses make us "numb" and disconnect us with our feelings. On a streak that connection recovers.

Thank you.

 

Music helped me a lot to get over PMO. I from 2000 but i grew up listening to "oldschool", or 20th century hits. In my opinion, the music back then was less enticing than today's or modern music. I prefer to dance to them than sit and think about the lyrics of today songs. Also the music videos today and social media are agents of relapsing. Youtube is the only social media i used everyday(if you are serious get filters). The rest: Instagram- I view this as softcore images and videos barely use it; once every week to check messages, Twitter- harmless; uses this for school work every 4-5 days(this social media is very informative), facebook- lets play scracbble or uno or chess- only use for games that i downloaded so i do not even use the app itself.

KEEP ON FIGHTIN' THE HARD FIGHT... as one day it may become easy.

 

I've set up rules for social media for the same reasons you mentioned. I don't use YouTube in my free time anymore, only at University. I allow myself Reddit during breaks but only subreddits I've subscribed already. It's important to create a safe environment.

 

I fully agree. Being productive and implementing healthy habits has helped me a ton. When I started, I focused on what I could do to not get triggered and what I'd do in case a trigger happens. Those things are important still but as I work on my streak, replacing bad habits (e.g. waste time on the web) with better habits seems like a good practice.

 

I relapsed a few days ago and I edited my post.

 

Thanks!

I don't know if that app is also available on iOS. I use that app on Android. Maybe there's something similar. Try searching for "reward system" or "habit points", something among those lines.