90 Day PMO Free

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by MissionPossible, Jan 6, 2018.

  1. MissionPossible

    MissionPossible Fapstronaut

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    This is my first journal through the relentless failings of the 90 day process.
    My goal is to post daily so to help inspire and lead others through our challenge as well as having a type of accountability through community. I just turned 26 and have been watching porn since 18/19.

    Day 1

    After a 6 day record, I relapsed. I'm feeling more depressed and tired than usual relapses. I wrote this today on my white board (the first thing I see when I wake up in the morning)

    "What do I really want?"

    I want a wife, a woman not a girl, a healthier relationship with God, a healthier relationship with myself.

    I'm going to start doing 2 new things:
    1) I'm going to keep my phone in another room at night and use my alarm clock instead of my phone as an alarm. The temptation to use my phone for PMO in the morning one is too great.
    2) I'm going to delete all contacts, images, saved links ect from my electronics so to eliminate easy access to P I enjoy.

    Have a great day everyone!
     
  2. MissionPossible

    MissionPossible Fapstronaut

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    Day 2
    Dating Apps

    Today I deleted my dating apps on my phone(Tinder and OK Cupid). They are such an easy go to when I want to look as soft P. First it's soft P, the next thing I know I'm watching hardcore P. I use to think that going through a dating app would be some type of benefit of finding a long term relationship, however; I realize now that I don't want the type of woman that use dating apps. I want to meet someone in person and as natural as possible. I mean, if I'm not man enough to talk to a stranger in public and ask them out to coffee, what kind of man am I (one that is trapped in the empty promises unlimited internet provides).

    Today's motto: "Enjoy the little shit, it helps".
    Today I'm focusing on enjoying the small things in life instead of the empty and fake happiness pmo provides.
     
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  3. MissionPossible

    MissionPossible Fapstronaut

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    Day 0

    Relapsed right after writing the last post. It feels so hopeless and overwhelming. I want to give up and can so easily. I know that if I do give up I won't have the life that I want to live and will forever live someone else's fake porn life. I hate the idea of "Day 0" as if there has been no past progress so instead I'm going to call it "Rebirth".
     
  4. Your gonna be stronger and wiser in this going forward in your "Rebirth" :) u got rid of the triggering apps and can proceed forward... Remained Focused!
     
  5. MissionPossible

    MissionPossible Fapstronaut

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    Day 1

    Thank you guys so much for the positive feedback. It helps me tremendously!

    Today it's raining outside which doesn't happen often where I live. We actually have more sunny days here than Hawaii. I also have a cold ☔ the perfect combination for a nice sleepy relaxing day and pmo temptation. I haven't had any urges since Rebirth, bit it's only been a day.

    I started playing my acoustic guitar again. Have always loved flamenco and have learned a new chord progression for it.

    Today's motto: "The struggle you're in today is developing the strength you need tomorrow ." Robert Tew
     
  6. MissionPossible

    MissionPossible Fapstronaut

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    Day 2
    Returned Energy

    Even though I've been sick the past few days, I have an increase of energy. I've noticed increases of energy some days after fapping before. I'm expecting to have more and more energy throughout the coming week. What I do with that energy is important because of I don't use it for benefiting myself, I'll end up using it to pmo. I need an action plan.

    Today I'll get some chores done around the house. I work later tonight which will help keep me focused.

    Today's Motto: "It's suppose to be hard. If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it." Tom Hanks
     
  7. MissionPossible

    MissionPossible Fapstronaut

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    Day 3
    Productivity

    Had some morning wood this morning as my first urge since relapse. Not difficult to overcome. I actually enjoy MW cuz it reminds me that I'm human. Hope that doesn't sound too weird.

    I'm getting over my head cold now and I'm feeling more productive. I'm planning on using this regained energy to benefit myself and be productive. I'm wanting to become a craft bartender. I'm going to write down a study guide and plan of action as to how to get there. Will also be cleaning my house since I haven't due to trying to recuperate from the cold.

    Today's Motto: "If I don't practice, study, nor prepare myself to become the best me possible, someone else will."

    I'm looking forward to tomorrow
     
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  8. u376

    u376 Fapstronaut

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    Hi lelouch
    How are you
     
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  9. MissionPossible

    MissionPossible Fapstronaut

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    Doing well udit. I conquered the world easily enough, but conquering myself seems to be a much larger challenge.
     
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  10. u376

    u376 Fapstronaut

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    Conquering yourself is more important than conquering world
    So have you watched death parade
    It's also a good anime
    And it may divert your attention from pmo
     
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  11. MissionPossible

    MissionPossible Fapstronaut

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    I have not heard of Death Parade before. I checked it out this morning and it was incredibly indulging. Thank you for introducing me to it
     
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  12. MissionPossible

    MissionPossible Fapstronaut

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    Day 4
    Massive Sexual Energy

    This morning I woke up to an abundance of energy, sexual energy. I've experienced this frequently when I reach this day. Although I'm thankful for it, since I can use it to my advantage, I am also aware that today and the next 5 or so days are going to be incredibly challenging. I need to stay focused on my long term pmo goals and find distractions. Thanks to Udit (above), I think I found a new distraction .

    I'm starting to have sexual dreams. I haven't had these types of dreams so soon into a recovery before. It's like my body wants to take control of the logic part of my brain. I will not allow it.

    The most difficult time for me is not in the evening, not in the shower, but instead in the morning. I'm going to charge my phone outside of my room so to not be tempted by it. Also, I will get right out of bed and into the day as soon as I wake up.

    Today's Motto: "The war is not won by eliminating the desire, but by controlling it". red_byrd via Panic Button

    I truly appreciate the nofappers commenting, suggesting, and motivating me to become better. Thank you and have a wonderful day!
     
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  13. Joe92

    Joe92 Fapstronaut

    I relate to this. When I wake up I feel the most challenging urges and I'm fueled by sexual energy and fantasies. And my nights are charged with dreams and nightmares, sex and violence. I remember experimenting this when I quitted a long cannabis addiction too.

    Wish you the best, keep fighting bro !
     
  14. u376

    u376 Fapstronaut

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    For me nights are(were) quite tempting ..so in order to control this I generally wake early in the morning around 7 o'clock so that I will sleep early at night....
    And yes death parade is quite good...its a short anime with 12 episodes
     
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  15. MissionPossible

    MissionPossible Fapstronaut

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    Thanks bro. You're awesome!
    I think I'm going to try this.
     
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  16. MissionPossible

    MissionPossible Fapstronaut

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    Day 0
    Rebirth
    Last Streak : 4 Days

    Relapsed this evening. Got on my phone while in bed, started searching, caught myself a few times, but then this statement popped into my head "I'll just..."

    I'll just:
    -Type in a few words, it won't hurt
    -See what there is to see
    - Do it this one time, I have control and will stop right after
    - Keep going, I'll enjoy myself
    - Edge a little bit, I can take it
    - Keep going, already looked at one picture, already failed so might as well enjoy the failure to its fullest

    All these "I'll just" statements constantly bombarding my head over and over again until....pmo... I'm going to learn from this experience. I'm creating a new rule; no phone after 8pm. I'm sacrificing listening to music before going to bed in the evenings which I enjoy doing, but I need to stop this.

    I know tomorrow is going to be tough since I don't have the energy I was looking forward to. Thankfully, I created a to do list to help through it.

    "You ultimately fail when you finally decide to give up on yourself".

    Have a nice evening y'all.
     
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  17. MissionPossible

    MissionPossible Fapstronaut

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    Day 1
    Fuzzy
    Last Streak : 4 Days

    Feeling fuzzy/hazy this morning. Definitely do not have the energy I did have before pmo. Focusing on my to do list and going one step at a time gradually. Have had urges and even peaked a little this morning. I immediately through my phone aside and walked away. I need to be aware that I'm more likely to binge right after a relapse and that binge can last a long time. In all honesty, if I didn't have a phone, my addiction would be much easier to control.

    I'm in the process of creating a PMO Reward System.
    7 Days - Go out on the town for a fun evening with a friend.
    14
    21
    30
    45
    60
    75
    90 - Buy a new gaming PC.

    Any suggestions would be appreciated.

    Today's Motto: "If there is no struggle, there is no progress".
     
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  18. MissionPossible

    MissionPossible Fapstronaut

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    Day 0
    Salvation

    Hey y'all. Hope you are all having a freaking amazing day! Haven't been on for a while purposefully. Today I'm excited, not because I couldn't get past 4 days no pmo and relapsed today, but because I was reminded how glorious Jesus Christ is!

    I'm a believer, and pmo has constantly made me doubt my relationship with Christ, particularly due to the type of porn I watch and sexual desires I have. As I was searching for solitude after relapse today, I was reminded what salvation actually is.

    Salvation is the complete trust and faith in Jesus Christ to save you from God's wrath due to the realization that we humans are 100% incapable of following God's laws. God did not make laws for us to follow, instead he made laws to show us we are not able to follow them and need Jesus in order to be saved.

    How does this relate to my past pmo progress? I have been trying to follow rules to help me stop sinning/pmo. I was reminded today that the only way to stop sinning, according to the Bible, is to accept the fact that I cannot stop sinning.

    This may sound counterproductive, however, once this reality is truly grasped, sin loses its power. We no longer feel the impulse to turn to sin as a means of temporary relief from anxiety, because the anxiety and pressure has been relieved once for all by Christ (Hebrews 10:10, 14). Then, the good works we accomplish in faith are done because of love and joy rather than out of fear or duty.

    1st Corinthians 15: 56-57
    "The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us victory through our lord Jesus Christ."

    I'm looking forward to tomorrow! Enjoy the rest of your day! God bless.
     
  19. MissionPossible

    MissionPossible Fapstronaut

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    Day 1
    Changing Routine

    Back here again after some time off. A lot has happened. I've been through a couple of 8 day streaks then all of a sudden fell into an avalanche. 8 days became 4 which became 2 then was fapping every day. There came a time I was fapping 8 times a day. I woke up in bed a week or two ago and after fapping, I realized and decided I had just had enough. I was tired of the same routine and tired of being a victim. I realized I always wanted my brain on something if it was smoking tobacco, weed, chew tobacco, alcohol, coffee, or fapping. All in moderation, but still done with it. I realized I don't really want any of this stuff. So, it's time to change me, my routine.

    Learning from my past mistakes, morning time is when I fap the most. So, when I go to bed, I will turn my phone off to charge. When I wake up, I will have a routine that will consume my time, without my phone. Phone seems to be the biggest tool to pmo for me. Morning routine will do far consist of watering my vegitable garden, stretching, and planning out my day. Maybe I'll make journaling here a daily habit as well. I want to get into regular exercise again too but have no plan yet.

    I appreciate this community so much. Cheers to all.
     
    Last edited: Aug 6, 2018
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  20. TheNewWill

    TheNewWill Fapstronaut

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    I made a list similar to yours, but with things I can do to distract myself when desires are strong. Things like giving 30 jumps, breathing 50 times, going around the block, talking to the dog ... I google, draw a number and I do. This is helping me.
     
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