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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by 2525, Oct 27, 2017.
I'm on day 3 today
Day 118 (Hardmode)
Ok guys, Hardmode is very...well hard. Couldn`t sleep today, had heavy strong urges. After a wet dream I had blue balls. Then stomache. Ouf I also was thinking of masturbating so that it will calm me down. So I tried and guess what, I couldn`t. I couldn`t masturbate! It was sooo weird and strange for me. After I woke up, some hours later I had still heavy urges. These urges I had for DAYS. Normally I had them not so hard, but this, well this fucks me right now. I couldn`t any hold that longer so I grabbed my phone, watched only a few seconds porn, tried to masturbate and guess what, I COULND`T!! It was sooo disgusting, it felt soo strange, it felt sooo weird for me to masturbate in front of my phone to porn!! I didn`t know what to do. I was energetic, so I started immediately some push-ups, didn`t helped. I jogged for 10 minutes, streched me, walked for 20 minutes in a forest. And that was the moment were my mind told me God os testing me: and I don`t know if I failed or passed. Now I`m k.o. and STILL have these urges. My mind draws me sexual thoughts with girls in real life, not porn stars.
I WANT SEX!!! I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH REAL GIRLS AND NOT WITH MY HAND!!! I WANT TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A GIRL! I WANT TO LOVE SOMEONE!!! I WANT THAT SOMEONE LOVES ME IN THAT SAME WAY AS I DO!!!
I can`t believe I wrote that. I`m soo unconcentraded right now I just wait till the bathroom is free so I can take a cold shower. I feel excited, sexual loaded, unconcentraded, worried. EVERYTHING AT SAME! It´s like I can laugh and cry at the same time.
Or is it just the loneliness who destroys me? Like the guy @xmag3000 said:
Could it be that I`m addicted like at the beginning? That I have the view of women as an object? Nah it can be. I talked with girls in a normal way. I could see them in the eyes without a disgusted feeling etc. But he`s right. The perfect girl doesn`t exist. I don`t know it`s like I can`t find a girl. Not in my school, not outside, not on the internet (I`m not a big fan of dating platofrms/apps)
After reading what I wrote I feel a bit embaressed. I just can`t explain what`s going on right now. I don`t think I need a therapist like that. Maybe it could be that this is an super energetic benefit of NoFap? But why does it hurts...
Bro Iam having similar feelings...maybe these really are some of the benefits of nofap....few years ago , I used to masturbate every time imfelt even a little bit aroused ....... but now i do not do it even if i have very strong urges.
Streak: 118 days Hardmode
Ok brothers, I made some resarches since I posted it and all had the same result: I had blue balls. I thought a lot about it, had heavy pains under my stomache etc. so I just masturbated, but WITHOUT PORN! Yep, it felt a bit weird but I must say WOW. No urges, no disgusting feeling, no pain, just relief, happinness. 118 days Hardmode, I`m happy with that. I think I should concentrade on a new goal. Of course I will not watch porn again, and will watch out to not relapse and not to get back to my old one. No. Instead porn is still disgusting, unhealthy, a sin for me. I know everybody got his or her own opinion about that, but I think I did enough Hardmode for me, now I`m concentrading on not to watch porn AND not to masturbate (only masturbate in situations like this). That means for me: Getting out of the comfort zone, speak to girls outside, doing Breakdance, playing guitar, maybe better studying than now.
So, here is it:
118 days Hardmode is my best streak. Wish me good luck that I meet my private goals ^^
I am on day 0
Ok, I am signing up for this challenge.
Relapsed. Started seeing things I shouldn't. Finished in pmo....0/90
Today will be 88/90, 2 days to go
Day 43/90 successful. Last time when I did streak this long... My social skin behaviour conditions were better than this time streak. Well I am waiting to get better again like that atleast. Now my behaviour is still awkward in between friends. Still memory didn't improve. Waiting ......... Anyways one more day under my belt. Cheers guys.
day 1/90 completed
bro, can you stay with porn? are you happy the way things are?
congratulations bro!!! keep going, we´re with you . Towards freedom
good call Curly, keep going!!!
awesome bro!!! my record is 55 days, i want YOU to pass it . Onwards my friend.
great post bro, i think you really nailed the spirit of nofap. this is not about becoming monks, this is about winning over a lustful addiction. when you want to give pleasure to yourself but without using some external source, that is perfect. you really made the reboot . congratulations. and great coincidence because last night i wrote in my guidelines a new point which is crucial to understand the core of this addiction. i will write below.
big hug my friend
Start Date: Jan 25, 2019
Day 133/136 no PM (relapsed day 51, 70, 102)
Day 34/90 consecutive no PM
Day 136 no alcohol or caffeine
Day 104 weight training
- feeling good about myself from 7 hours of outdoor garden work yesterday building planters
- the urges have reduced in intensity but are still there
- going for a 3 week holiday so that can be a trigger sometimes in hotel rooms
- might not have regular posts now since I won't have wifi while on holiday and have limited data
- learning to take this journey one day at a time
- nice to see I am over 1/3 the way through this journey now
My friends, besides the damaging effects that porn does to your body and mind there´s another problem much deeper that goes through society that i think we don´t talk here as often.
You see, we´re not really addicted to porn, we´re addicted to sexual stimulation - lust. Lust is basically dwelling in sexual amusement.
Sex should come in the context of a loving strong connection, not as a means through an end. Lust - whether from porn, softcore, hookers, your dirty mind, whatever…. reduces human beings to objects. We stop seeing a person as a whole and reduce it to it´s sexual feature. We´re using people instead of loving people. It´s the same nature of killing, stealing, etc… we´re not respecting others, we´re abusing them.
Society has a great deal in why things are this way, we are constantly being bombarded by sexy materials, it´s everywere. And that is something we must strongly say “NO”. We should know somebody´s body when we know their traits. That creates a deep connection between two people and through it sex becomes a transcendental experience.
So everytime society presents you with the glorification of the body, wether from movies, magazines, internet, prostitutes, etc… turn your head away. People are not body parts, they do not exist to satisfy our needs.
I have no doubt that much of the violence and tension between men and women are deeply rooted in the way society encourages the reduction of people to objects.
So if we can see from this perspective our attitude towards PMO changes from “fighting it off” our system to “giving it up” because it´s plain wrong.
I don´t mean to be cheesy but i think those groups of people that were protesting against porn 50 years ago they were right all along.