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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by 2525, Oct 27, 2017.
very good bro, keep going!!
Day 5 DONE1
Day 18 of no PM
Day 87 of no alcohol or caffeine
Day 55 of weight training
- feeling good today
- find myself wanting to look at p-sub as I open my yahoo browser and FB pages but trying to abstain as best I can from looking at cute girls - any suggestions on how to avoid that other than not use my computer for the remainder of this challenge?
- need to keep busy might help, I think
- hope everyone had an enjoyable Easter and has a great fap free week
with every day successfully passing ray of hope for the reboot is getting stronger even though thoughts came up in mind but they are mostly craving for natural sex not for pmo any more that's more a sign of improvement still trying to do meditation every day to calm mind & not get it excited...day 41/90
today i face a tough test and learn a valuable lesson. usually around the 3rd or 4 week i start to crumble in nofap. i never understand why, i´m always so sure of myself and then after a month or so, i relapse. now i understand. usually around that period is when flatline overs (the withdrawal usually is over before that), so what i´m left is with the raw urges. so today i was home alone, getting bored and start searching for horror movies in the mobile. but in reality i indirectly was trying to find if there was any hot actress or scene in those movies. after 1 minute or so, i found a potencial movie of the sort, but before i click i realized where was i heading. in that moment i remember a youtube video that entitled "why you forget the pain of relapse", i saw the movie and it was mindblowing.
JK Emezi explains why we must directly cope with unconfortable feelings, it´s a vital part of the rewiring, to develop new skills. the way i was doing was throwing all my strengh in creating a busy, exciting life and with that i was expecting never have to face a dull moment, a sad moment, a hurt moment. the truth is we can´t always create the perfect circunstances. so whenever a dull moment appears + an urge to PMO, i just froze and hope the circunstances will become better, ex: somebody would call me, somebody would knock on the door... i wasn´t directly doing anything about the unconfortable feeling, i was just letting time solve it out. and of course the longer i stayed in an idle situation the more the urge grow. because i wasn´t dealing with the situation properly, the addicted part of the brain was already taking over for the dopamine solution.
you see? we have to deal directly with the parts of our experience that are unconfortable and cope with them in constructive ways, or else the midbrain (that is severely hijacked by PMO) will start to take over and make us relapse. that´s why it feels we enter automatic mode just before a relapse!!! we are being driven!!!
so here are my suggestions to activately deal with negative feelings:
- If you feel bored follow the trail of inspiration, ask yourself "what do i really wanna do right now?" and act out on the answer. Even if at first you only feel a small pull, do it anyway. After a while energy will increase so as the mood and you´ll be inspired to do other things.
- If you feel sad accept the situation that cause it, or change it if you can. also talk with someone about it and do something pleasant.
- Harder emotions like anger or hurt i recommend meditation. A good exercise is the 3 minute breathing space meditation, it´s specifically designed to cope with hard moments.
let´s go my brothers, we can do this, we will do this.
Ive just deleted those apps like Bigo live,delete those stimulating apps that might lead you to relapse
Day 3 on Challenge
Day 10 Hard Mode.
Guys we can beat this bad habit. Keep it up.
I,m reading "the book your brain on porn" and it's easier to win this battle when you know how this works.
Day 14. I almost just blew it and I knew I was heading there but at this point the mental block in my brain is strong enough to avoid the immediate urge, so I forced myself to stop and came here. Now I'm feeling much better and I think I can keep going.
During these 48 days, I delete Facebook and Instagram in my cellphone.
Also, my mind become clear, anxiety vanishes and more dare to make important decision(e.g. like decide whether to go to bed or go to study)
I'm 64/90 challenges. God bless you all. Have a great day.
For my first few weeks I followed these things:
1. Only check social media in the presence of friends/family (due to having a trigger of being alone and seeing sexual photos on social media)
2. No browsing of the internet 1 hour before bedtime (due to having a trigger of being alone and browsing the internet ultimately seeing something sexual)
3. On google chrome, go to settings and choose the option of not allowing images to appear (due to having a trigger of seeing a sexual image while on the internet)
4. If feeling a strong urge, drop down and do as many pushups as possible
I basically thought about what my triggers were leading me to PM and I created certain ways to deal with these triggers.
Another thing I did on some days is I wrote down a list of tasks I wanted to complete for the day, and this kept me busy and focused on completing these tasks (this helps deal with the trigger of boredom).
Just take it one day at a time.
I hope this helps.
I switched off my home computer and now all I need to do I go early at the office. Fortunately 99% of my faps happened at home. I feel that changing this may give me a shot at getting out of this latest relapse.