6 WKS no PMO

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by LifeWorthLiving!!!, Mar 10, 2019.

  1. LifeWorthLiving!!!

    LifeWorthLiving!!! Fapstronaut

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    I found NoFap in May of 2016. First time out went 402 days no PMO.

    I felt great- posting daily. Over time - in my blind pride - I believed that I was a NoFap expert - giving advice and "gaining followers" - but getting way too full of myself. I was losing perspective with personal achievement. I relapsed with porn one night when my guard was down - again because of my blind pride.

    In reality I had learned techniques to suppress the urges but had not developed deeper connections with people around me and with God.

    Looking back at my life - I had struggled with an addiction to porn for years - got relief through connecting to NoFap for 13 months - and then went back to struggling from June of 2017 until January of this year. (2019).

    This is my second effort. I have learned a lot. My typical no PMO runs between 2017 and 2019 were 5 days before I would relapse with some form of pornography.

    I'm now at 42 days.

    I feel stronger this time out. More honest with myself. Over the last 6 weeks I've faced challenges, but I've stuck with a larger vision of being free - building a new life and learning from the setback that I experienced a year and a half ago.

    I think of the people that had a great run on this site, fell away, and have never returned. Over 200K fapstaunauts are signed up, but I've noticed that sometimes when I see a profile, the person last posted 6 months ago... a year ago... 2 years ago. I wonder what happened. Did they fall into a rut like I did? Where are they now?

    I realize the necessity to
    1. to stay connected
    2. to stay humble.

    If we lose connection or humility we can end up in the same place that we started. I truly pray that all of us can learn from each other - even through our mistakes and shared knowledge. Mistakes are there any to learn from - and if we can share the lesson we will all be better off in the long run.

    PEACE
     
    Last edited: Mar 11, 2019
  2. rp007

    rp007 Fapstronaut

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    "Felt great, posting daily, felt like a NoFap guru - giving advice and "gaining followers" - but losing perspective- and then crashed one night when my guard was down because of my blind pride."

    yes bro i can feel you....my last good streak was of 56 days..didn't do that last time though. maybe we have to remind ourselves the main reason why to not go back to that old habits.. to be a better version of yourself.

    keep it up bro!
     
    Last edited: Mar 12, 2019
  3. Thundurus

    Thundurus Fapstronaut

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    Stop counting that's the big win.
    I believe in you brother!
     
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  4. LifeWorthLiving!!!

    LifeWorthLiving!!! Fapstronaut

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    I read a quote a while back, "dont count the days, make the days count". In other words make each day valuable by making changes.

    There is a truth in that. If we are simply counting days, waiting for them to pass, we are likely to fall because the project is simply one of resistance against PMO. But if we realize that the real project is rebuilding our lives - using energy previously wasted on addiction to build relationships with God, others and self, then we are making the days count / valuable. Big shift in perspective.

    I still believe strongly that while making my days valuable, I also need to maintain my day counter. For me, personally, if I ignore the amount of days that I made the day valuable, I would fall into the trap of saying, "I've had a rough day - I will look at PMO tonight and then re-start making the day valuable tomorrow." Counting days also gives my rational mind a measure on how much I have recovered when my limbic brain is ready to quit.

    Thanks for the support. I wanted to respond on that point.

    PEACE
     
  5. CH3RRY

    CH3RRY Fapstronaut

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    I also started a new reboot 2 days ago. I hadn't masturbated to porn for 6 months and did it twice last week. It's a great new start, and this time I will do it better. It wasn't perfect last time, I still viewed porn occasionally and also softer material often. Now I will abstain from everything. For me, viewing sexual imagery is the real problem. So like you, I'm being more honest with myself. You can't lie to yourself in any way, no matter if it hurts.

    And yeah I believe that people who disappear from this site have gone back to their old ways. It just doesn't make sense that they would leave all of sudden after being successful. They would leave a final thanks and wish others well. That's what I will do some day. And also those people probably are disappointed and don't want to tell others what happened which is why they don't want to come here.

    Staying humble is important. For me it is a very positive feeling, makes me feel more connected.
     
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  6. CollectedBro

    CollectedBro Fapstronaut

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    I'm in the same predicament. Been abstaining from PMO during weekdays for the past 2 years. But I left Nofap 2 years ago when I decided to adopt the above strategy. Check out my post "Back again..." to find out about my story if you're interested. The reason why I decided to come back is to get back on track again using this platform and to take time to make entries with others of my experiences. Being honest with myself. Similarly, I have learnt quite a few things about myself over the past 2 years. Until I realized that my mindset was wrong in certain ways. Abstinence can only go so far. The fundamental issue still lies somewhere; unsolved.

    Even though I have viewed pornography on weekends, I still look at it positively because I no longer feel the urge to PMO every single day. The only problem is during weekends where I still feel the need to get it done. The excuses are endless; relieving sexual tension, stress and exercising those sexual fantasies of mine. Makes it worse because I have been single for my whole life. Not that I am an unattractive guy, I'm a decent looking guy with a pretty well-paying job. Just that underneath that life of mine (that everyone around me envies), there is the bad habit of relying on pornography to run away from my life problems. I guess we all have problems in life. The downside of this strategy is that I have become numb; not having emotions. Whenever I face with problems, I don't feel much other than going through the motions. And some people around me have noticed that I don't really exhibit much emotions anymore; kind of like a robot in certain ways. I discovered that I was actually numbing myself so that I won't get hurt anymore. If I don't feel anything, then whatever happens in life won't hurt me in any aspect. Took me a while to realize.

    My strategy moving forward is to also not count the number of days I have abstained from PMO, but to stay connected with people. Sharing my experiences (which feels therapeutic for me) and joining more activities instead of staying at home to watch videos with my free time on the weekends. I am in a better place psychologically as compared to a few years ago, but the drawback is the lack of emotions. Hopefully I can continue to share my experiences with people like yourself.

    All the best buddy. Peace.
     
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  7. LifeWorthLiving!!!

    LifeWorthLiving!!! Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the reply.

    Rebooting after a relapse is tough. It's easy to say after relapse, "Evidently, PMO is what I really want, so dont try to live without it because you are built to fail at this effort."

    I find that in order to avoid that type of despair in this second effort, that I need to expand my vision of who I am becoming. To envision what I didn't envision in the first effort. This gives me greater hope. The new future vision of myself gives me curiosity to see it accomplished.
     
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  8. pcmaster

    pcmaster Fapstronaut

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    Yeah man, I remember your first streak. Wasnt so far from 500 days. At the same time my first streak was 345 days and during it, I didn't understand how you could relapse so often. It seemed like you gave up. But then I understood when I myself relapsed and my streaks became shorter until sometimes I would struggle to last a week or a day. At the same time I was going to church often and before that, I didn't understand how weak can be people who are going to church every day and relapsing every day. Well God showed me that so I understood his plan on me and since that day been clean.

    It looks like your first streak was nofap based. You got your achievements and flow from nofap. And now it looks like you turned to God more and relationships is what strives you. I think you always need something new to focus on during streaks.
    WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN DETERMINES WHAT YOU DO. Either you believe in nofap or God, this belief guides your actions.
     
  9. LifeWorthLiving!!!

    LifeWorthLiving!!! Fapstronaut

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    @pcmaster !
    Thanks for the reply.

    It's amazing when people have similar experiences in recovery. It helps to realize that you are not the only one out there. All the principles fall apart if people are not connecting with the ups and downs of this journey.

    I am finding that recovery requires God first in everything. If Gid is first, then all relationships fall into proper perspective. I worshipped women for years, not knowing that I was doing it - seeking affirmation, strength and validation through them. PMO worked when I "worshipped" women, because it presented digital images of women that seemed to say "yes" to me. Affirming, strengthening, encouraging and never rejecting when I was on my PMO cloud. When I crashed down off the cloud, reality hit and then I felt the pain of how much power I had handed over to any beautiful woman. Then I felt like a slave to a master. Feeling less than, weak.

    Now I am able to see that beauty can blind me to the woman behind it. PMO addiction can keep you from meeting and knowing great women for who they are. I think that a lot of beautiful women feel isolated because men get intimidated by the power of their exterior beauty. At the same time many women with interior beauty get passed by because men are chasing the woman with exterior beauty (and don't have the confidence to speak to them in the first place). It's a destructive game.

    NoFap, in itself, does not propose a set of beliefs that can be connected to a religion. It isn't designed to be a religion. The common bond is that people here want to quit and bring their experience to the table. But it can be easily "worshipped" if we see it as the number one thing keeping our lives together.

    PEACE
     
  10. Ogikubo

    Ogikubo Fapstronaut

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    I may be wrong, but I am finding the temptation slowly getting greater the longer I am away from porn and masturbating. My brain and body must be wondering what the hell is going on because this has been a near daily ritual for me for decades. So I am very glad to have read your post and what the others have responded with. Yeah, I believe some people relapse and give up on this site. Others, you will notice, return. It gets a bit old when someone who has not fapped for 2 days is proclaiming their new found life, but I must admit I have done similar things. The pride you discuss is very real. We must not forget that we need to keep trying. Never give in. Our addictions are in the next room doing push ups while we are thinking that we got this thing under control. Hats off to you for your honest and thoughtful post, and keep up the great work.
     
  11. LifeWorthLiving!!!

    LifeWorthLiving!!! Fapstronaut

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    @Ogikubo -Thanks for the reply.
    It's been my experience that when temptation is running strong, it's my limbic brain trying to resist change, running auto pilot. Those times have become teaching moments, where I have learned what I am truly made of. Letting my executive brain become aware of what is happening and taking the limbic brain out of auto pilot. Saying with authority, "porn is not an option". "Not going there, period."

    Those interior affirmations get me through the urges and open up another day.

    Over time the power of urge waves do pass though and it becomes much easier to control an urge.

    PEACE
     
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  12. Ogikubo

    Ogikubo Fapstronaut

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    Yes, and thank you. I did have to remotivate myself and look back at why I am in this struggle quite a bit in the last 72 hours. I hit 50 days, thought I was the man, and then felt the strongest temptations since I started. I repeated some of the mantras you mentioned above, and kept busy. Made it and feel less anxious today! Thanks!
     
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  13. LifeWorthLiving!!!

    LifeWorthLiving!!! Fapstronaut

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    @Ogikubo -
    Great job. These are my go to phrases. Simple statements that activate my executive brain.

    "Porn is not an option"

    "Nope, not going there. Period"

    Another one that I picked up from the NoFap app is an affirmation.

    "I don't look at porn".

    You don't say "I don't look at porn anymore". The affirmation is simply "I don't look at porn". Simple affirmations that activate the executive brain. When you connect some emotion behind it - confidently speaking it or thinking it, it takes on amazing power over an urge by getting more brain activity in the executive brain because you have to reason out the phrase. The limbic urge lessens as the brain activity shifts.

    I would never have thought that this would work, but it does.

    PEACE
     
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  14. Chappo030891

    Chappo030891 Fapstronaut

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    great message, man!
    Its a great idea to come here and support fellow faptronauts!
     
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  15. LifeWorthLiving!!!

    LifeWorthLiving!!! Fapstronaut

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    @Chappo030891
    Thanks for the response!

    It really is true, that supporting others contributes to recovery. I know that it makes a difference for me personally. Giving back by commenting on a post, extending support, just feels good to do.

    PEACE
     
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  16. LifeWorthLiving!!!

    LifeWorthLiving!!! Fapstronaut

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    Being a better version of yourself is a hopeful image.

    When I think of living my life and missing the mark - not living to my full potential - it's a frightening thought.

    Every day without PMO is NEW.
    New possibilities.
    New goals
    New aspirations.
    New challenges.

    Every day with PMO is predictable. A predictable downward spiral.

    What keeps me moving forward is the daily discovery of who I truly am - finding out what I'm made of. The best version of myself.

    PEACE
     
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  17. Peterliberation

    Peterliberation Fapstronaut

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    I like this thread.
    I have similarities in my life. I became pro free completely. I seriously struggled lived abstinent completely. Lived in a religious group. Worked much meditated much and strove very hard to rid off the wrong desire as I call it from my brain. Retire my brain and bring me back totally to factory reset.
    That’s when I then met my wife. I can clearly see the correlation. Because I did this cleanse this is how I could meet her.
    We had beautiful love making. But then things shifted. Outside challenges threw me into a state of overwork and serious imbalance. This situation tore deep into our life and I was on overload all the time. I meditated and I can recharge in meditation a lot otherwise I could not have survived at all. Nevertheless in there a pattern developed of watching porn which took my mind off all of this. It was like a complete vacation because I did long sessions. But of course there is a hook that tore me deeper and deeper into it. I imprisoned myself and the irritation that followed after each session did not help the overall picture.

    The similarity to your story is having been out completely and feeling free of it clean and then falling back in. I could do complete abstinence for two month. No porn no masturbation not even. No sex. Then I got hooked by something. A look a dress a pose a picture - in short one of the billions of teasers that are out there all the time. I developed this edging sessions over hours. But there was a progression too. I always meditated reflected and was striving. I did have lots of realizations which I see as keys.
    I gained a lot of valuable insights. These pieces of achievements and realizations all together and the fact I got out completely is the base I know that I can emerge of this now completely.

    I love your guys posts and feedbacks. I am still having too much work but intend to soon spend more time on here. This is good.
     
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  18. Dr Kool-Aid

    Dr Kool-Aid Fapstronaut

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    Dang bro I know this is unrealated but i wish I had your profile pic
     
  19. xxmemel0verxx

    xxmemel0verxx Fapstronaut

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  20. DashyRicky

    DashyRicky Fapstronaut

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    I have a similar story, when I started my nofap journey in 2017 I had some great streaks like 30, 40, and eventually 90 days. I felt like I had conquered this addiction, I know how to control it. Oh man I was so wrong, after those 90 days I have been struggling for like one and a half year with some rare streaks of 30+ days in between. Other than that my average streak has been 2 weeks and then I relapse and the same thing repeats. I fell into this loophole I was just torn apart by it. Though I didn't give up and I won't ever that's a promise I have made to myself since the beginning. No matter what I will once again achieve those 90 days. I have learnt a lot about myself, nofap has helped me discover who I truly am and who I want to be. The best version of myself, I know who he is. Could you share some of the tips and tricks that you used in these 6 weeks? Would be very much helpful. Oh and thanks for sharing such an inspiring post. Much power to you moving forward, may God bless you with the success that you deserve.
     
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