51 days of abstinence but I need to keep walking

Hi everyone,
It is 51 days without PMO. Thinking about that, it seems a lot, never happened in my life. In these days I did an exam at university and it went great . Maybe it is the second time in my life I do an exam in abstinence and the sensation was to fell a normal person as my friends. Many are the positive things in this process of reboot, it is as if after a blackout of more than ten years of masturbation I’m coming to build my life. Perhaps this one is the biggest result I saw in this process.

Anyway, there are moments of depression, where I am in group with others and it is as if my brain were turned off. There are moments where I fell inppropriate, insicure, without self esteem but then I return to think where I was when I started nofap and I was very bad, surely worse than now.

There are days where I see my life grey and days where I see my life radiantly and at least for today I have no intention to masturbate.

I remember when I masturbated every day and the only thing I could do was to stay in bed , to cry on myself in the darkness respect to now where I do many things (training in gym, reading books, watching movies, going out with friends), at least I try to be with others, I try to find a girlfriend, maybe I’m not able but better now than 51 days ago.

The fact is I don’t have to be so needy with myself, I come from years where I bombarded my brain with those things and I am even introverse, shy, closed, I need to go ahead step by step and if there are grey days I need to think tomorrow the sun will rise again in my life. #NeverGiveUp.


max

 

thankyou guys very much to write me. It is so important we discuss about our experience whether positive or negative to proceed in this process of rebooting. @Tested I don’t know what is precisely an “accountability partner”, sorry for my english, anyway if you mean to share experiences I agree. @waterworld I know how you feel. today I am at day 54. there are days where I would like to masturbate, to see all those things. I cannot negate I like those things and this fact tormented me for years. Masturbation for me was a way to fill an inner emptiness, maybe the strongest emotion I have ever tried. I Always could find new things in an unimaginable quantity. So when I accepted that I liked them I asked myself, is there anything could replace PMO? I found one thing, the desire to build my life, the life I have always wished, where I am a scientist, I am married and I have several sons. This one is my propelling, every time I try to touch my self that imagine of how I would be come in my mind and I stop immediately. If your need is physical the body will find the way without you relapse. Let’s go guys without giving up, at least for today. #TomorrowIsALongTime

 

Today is 58 days of abstinence, one thing I was thinking, beyond the many advantages usually can be seen in this process of reboot, another thing I wanted to point is that now I can be at home alone or in my room alone without suffering temptation of PMO. 58 days ago as soon as I was alone PMO wan an obsession in my mind until I surrendered. I don't fell anymore compulsivity, and the idea of P is very rare in my mind. Reboot gives results I'm trying them

 

60 days without PMO. Tonight I had a spontaneous ejaculation, the first time in this reboot. I know it is a normal thing for the body, anyway I fell as if I were in chaser effect, today urges are so strongest as never in these 60 days. I was very near to relapse, I was just going to write P on my browser but I blocked myself. I tried by cold water but urges are still strong. I try to resist, I'm starting to love my new life and I don't want to lose it.

 

Yes, for me was in this way

 

I look back and I see now I am the son of the choices I did more than a year ago