46 M married - looking for AP & group

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by JPDrive, May 7, 2019.

  1. JPDrive

    JPDrive Fapstronaut

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    Hi, folks.

    I’m new to NoFap. Went 7 days on my first attempt at stopping. Started to get what I think may be withdrawl symptoms, then crashed & burned. Ready to make a 2nd attempt, but realize without an AP or AP group, it won’t work.

    I started porn back in my early teens. PMO has been a problem all along, but I always managed to have bigger fish to fry, so I never tried to heal before.

    Now I am 46 with wife and kids. PMO hasn’t ruined my life, but there is a lot of destruction in its wake. I’ve got some fairly aggressive personal and work goals this year. I’ve been attempting some major overhaul of my habits and routines these past six months to make that happen.

    I realized that PMO is the root cause of my challenges and inability to build discipline for other habit changes that need to occur. It is standing in the way of where I need to go next.

    Time to slay a beast.

    Looking for AP partner and group. Would prefer someone as close to my situation as possible (male, 35+, maried, kids, US timezones, not new to addiction recovery), but I am open to folks outside that as I think I have a lot to offer.

    Expectations: Check-ins multiple times a week. Would prefer an anonymous messaging app or via this website. I’m not appropriate for folks who expect immediate responses. Not ready for voice conversations— at least not right away.

    JPD
     
    persona2903 and djslo like this.
  2. Freddiefox

    Freddiefox Fapstronaut

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    Welcome to the community. 49 here, married with kids also.
    Good work in seeing this as a problem and taking steps.
     
    JPDrive likes this.
  3. JPDrive

    JPDrive Fapstronaut

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  4. Disciplined1

    Disciplined1 New Fapstronaut

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    Hey JPDrive

    I'm single, 44 yrs old living in NYC. I've been trying to quit porn for about 6 months now. I've gone 30 days at most, but didn't really put in the work (getting an email set up on NOFAP, AP etc). I hate it and want it out of my life. I'm familiar w/recovery (I've struggled with other addictions in the past) and do not expect immediate answers. I'm not a millennial haha. Lmk if you'd like to be my AP. Thanks and good luck.

    'I realized that PMO is the root cause of my challenges and inability to build discipline for other habit changes that need to occur. It is standing in the way of where I need to go next.'

    Same here bud.
     
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  5. JPDrive

    JPDrive Fapstronaut

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    @Disciplined1 Thanks for responding.

    Let’s start a chat... sounds like we might be a good fit.

    JPD
     
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  6. djslo

    djslo Fapstronaut

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    Hi JPDrive—I'm new to this as well. Age 57 with a wife (for now) and kids in late teens. Porn started for me at age 12 with a sexual abuser. It's been off and on thru my life since then. I'm done with it—it's hurt my relationships in ways that I didn't see and rationalized my way around (no sex/lousy sex in my marriage being the main one). I am fully committed to this process and would be glad to have an AP (or a few perhaps—not quite sure how this works!). I'm in week 3 of no PMO and so far no cravings; feeling very good about moving on. I'll check back in on this thread.
     
    JPDrive likes this.
  7. JPDrive

    JPDrive Fapstronaut

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    Sounds like we are in similar situations @djslo.

    “It’s hurt my relationships in ways I didn’t see and rationalized my way around”. Yes... PMO used to cope with low self esteem from prior experiences. Easily done when we didn’t know any better.

    Let’s take a step forward and see where it goes.

    JPD
     
  8. djslo

    djslo Fapstronaut

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    Got it, thanks JPD and see my reply in the other area (Conversations)
    DJ
     
    Last edited: May 9, 2019
    JPDrive likes this.
  9. Alter Ego

    Alter Ego New Fapstronaut

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    Hey there! I had a similar situation. Almost 42 years old, married with two kids. Starting 2019 I tried to stay away from PMO but unfortunately since then I relapsed several times...
     
    JPDrive likes this.
  10. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

    Hi! I'm 50 years old, married with two late teenagers kids. I start with this challenge at end march and this firts attempt lasted 27 days... happy with this achievement. Then I relapse. I think that with AP i have more chances of making progress.
    Regards!
     
    JPDrive and Committed to One like this.
  11. JPDrive

    JPDrive Fapstronaut

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    @Alter Ego @persona2903 Thanks for chiming in. Posting on these forums and finding an AP are key steps.

    I’ve been able to find a few AP’s from this thread. Perhaps the two of may want to contact each other. Posting here was a great way to find folks with similar experiences.

    JPD
     
  12. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

    I relapsed a few days ago... but i will not give up.
    Your expriencies are so usefull, thanks for sharing them.
    See u all
     
    JPDrive likes this.
  13. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

    Here i am again. This is a hard week, but i'm still resisting! How are you all?
     
  14. djslo

    djslo Fapstronaut

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    I'm hanging in there. A bit rough at this very moment! But I'm going to go get some exercise instead.
     
    persona2903 likes this.
  15. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

    Good idea!
     
  16. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

    Hi all... is this forum alive? :emoji_grimacing:
     
  17. Mady Morrison

    Mady Morrison Fapstronaut

    Hey persona2903! Seems that JPDrive have found his AP already. I'm in a similar situation (42, married with kids). I'm also looking for an AP. What do you say?
     
    JPDrive likes this.
  18. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

    Cheking in wednesday. On day 39, can't believe it. Maybe thanks to being busy, focused on good projects, spending good time with the family.
    BUT I know must be alert, I must not believe that I have already reached it.
    How are you?
    I encourage you to keep going,God bless you all friends!
     
    JPDrive likes this.
  19. socalrunner

    socalrunner New Fapstronaut

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    hi everyone, 35 y/o single guy from LA. Looking for an group. Do you guys still have a group? If so, is there room for another?
     
  20. JPDrive

    JPDrive Fapstronaut

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