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42 years, married, father of two, starting a 90 day reboot

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by rjay, Nov 10, 2013.

  1. rjay

    rjay New Fapstronaut

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    heavy user of many years,
     
    Last edited: Nov 22, 2013
  2. Scott1971

    Scott1971 Fapstronaut

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    I'm a 42 year old father of two as well and I'm just in the first few hours of Day 5 here. Done the Cold Turkey thing too and it just doesn't work. Some kind of structured program is needed for guys like us. It's very helpful to be able to have others to talk to who are going through the exact same thing. The withdrawal is a bitch but with the support of others like us, I believe we can do it. You can totally do it!
     
  3. Blue

    Blue Fapstronaut

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    Welcome rjay. I'm 42 also. I couldn't stop porn and excessive masturbation on my own either. That's why this forum is so critical for me. Interacting with other men, reading their journals, and sharing in their exerience, strength and hope have made all the difference. My best advice is to educate yourself about porn addiction (that will lessen the shame) at www.yourbrainonporn.com, get an accountability partner, and keep a journal. I'm glad you're here. Feel free to contact me anytime.
     
  4. triballion

    triballion Fapstronaut

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    You can do it. We fall in the lucky category of being old enough to remember what it was like before cell phones, computers, and always available internet porn. Keeping this in mind has helped me a lot. Thinking back to the days when we were just able to get a random porn mag from the trash, or finally get a hold of the fredericks of hollywood catalog that was just enough to piss you off sometimes, cause they would show the Tback undies but the pic would be cut off just before the best part of the ass. Those were the days that it was easy to not be taken over by stimulation. Even into our 20s, there were so many other things to do than hide and look at porn.
    Anyway, sorry, got on a rant. This helped me, because I had to think back to the things that we used to do. I seldom remember being at home as much then, as I am now. I and anyone I was with was always busy, out, social, gym, or even having friends over. Mostly I just work now, but in a way, it has become my social life as well. As a married guy with no kids, its easy to find things out to do as well. With kids, it can be easy too, just connect to that younger you, find things you would want to do, and invite the kids along. Or call up your mates once in a while for a boys night out, just not at the strip joint.
    Good luck on your journey guys, it is a hell of a ride if you stay on, and the rewards have been great for me. There is no doubt you will benefit as well
     
  5. Blue

    Blue Fapstronaut

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    We are Gen Xers. We are the bridge between analog and digital. We are the last generation to remember record players and record stores, 8 track tapes, rotary phones, TV with only three stations and a PBS that wasn't very clear and if you missed a special like Charlie Brown's Christmas or The Wizard of Oz you had to wait an entire year to see it again, learning cursive, writing and receiving letters, and porn that we or our buddy swiped from our dad or older brothers.

    I can't imagine hitting puberty with internet porn. We are lucky.
     
  6. triballion

    triballion Fapstronaut

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    Thats what I hold on to. We had to have imagination. At that time, part of the fun of getting the porn was the trouble you had to go to to get it. It made the reward that much greater. We had to have imagination to keep us busy and entertained. And we damn sure didnt tell mom we were bored, because we had 2 and a half acres in the country and she would find you something to do. The more I stick with this NoFap, the more I trend away from media as a whole, and I am having more fun thinking of shit to do than any of the time I spent jerkin to a computer screen.

    Lucky is Damn right. We were the last generation to be able to develop the skills to survive this the best.
     
  7. rjay

    rjay New Fapstronaut

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    Thank you all for responding. Yes I remember how different access to porn was I first came across it, a group of friends invited me to watch this "blue movie" as they called it. It was a VHS tape played on a VCR ( yes VCR ) and there were tracking lines at the bottom and it was grainy and colors were all kind of washed out ( comparing to todays blue ray even DVD ) I was hooked from the fist viewing, my next step was to figure out how I could get one and watch just by myself, which I did and have continued to do, didn't like the group thing. I don't remember when I transitioned from VHS to DVD and to streaming tubes on the internet, but porn has been a part of my life all this time. Didn't realize it was a problem until very late into the marriage, but I do now, my ED is most likely porn induced and host of other issues, social anxiety, lack of motivation and energy, easy to anger generally disinterested in life, suicidal at times, the list goes on :)
     

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