40's and just now willing to surrender

Sorry to hear my friend.
What happened?

 

Do you have specifics outlined for that goal?

 

no fappp

 

I am on day one also.

 

You should let go of this negativity and start to see the positive side of things to get some enthusiasm to go forward. Since your case is so sensitive don't try to go 90 days flawless. try to pick one day at a time if you end up relapsing realize how far you made it (let's say 13days) and next time try to push it further (let's say 18-20days).

You gotta realize that suffering for your past failures won't fix them and definitely won't let you build a better present or future. So let go of the past start literally from the scratch, forgive yourself about yesterday and start today as if is the first day of your life with a positive mindset and a focus on the positive things.

There are many configurations to go you can go hardcore no PMO for 1 month then go no PM but allow yourself to have normal sex.

You can also just eliminate porn until you feel comfortable masturbating without it and then stop masturbating too and then if you desire eliminate orgasm (which means no real sex) up until your goal is achieved.

You gotta realize this, the main disease here is porn but it has contaminated your masturbation and sex habits and that's why you have to relinquish the 3 of them, BUT, you just give up masturbation and sex until you regain a healthy interaction with it, now porn, you simply have to take that shit out of your life for granted.

 

Surrender? You have ahead of you the fight of your life! Don't give in to despair. Get this done in the next year or two, and you have all those other years to look forward to. Go hard.

 

Be encouraged, because freedom from porn, and a life of joy and empowerment is absolutely attainable. It is not "impossible", even though I'm sure that is how you are feeling.

But that is what porn will do to you. It makes you feel enslaved, impotent, and its difficult to see any light at the end of the tunnel. Hell, it's hard to even see a tunnel!

Porn is absolutely a defeatable for. And you absolutely have everything you need in order to defeat it. And yet, there are many people who do not go porn free. Why is that? Why do they struggle for years commiting the same mistakes, and repeating the exact same self sabotaging acts?

I think the main readon is that they do not have a strong daily recovery plan. Everyone wants to just "get more will power" and "push through". That type of thinking is short sighted and stupid. I've yet to meet a person who is porn free who used this line of thinking. Definitely not long term free. Self will is compromised significantly with addictions, or addictive style behavior, because the brain is rewired. Your own mind is where the issue is. Your biology sends irrefutable messages to your mind which tell it that "sex is good because it involves procreation" It's a physiological survival of the fittest mechanism. And yet, your impulses are not advanced enough to identify what "porn" is, so it just looks at porn as an opportunity for procreation, and therefore convinces your mind that it is good.

I have not talked to a person who has gone porn free long term or permanently without a strong daily recovery plan. I have one I use daily, and it is the foundational key to my success. This podcast talks about how to create one step by step:


https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast...-pornography/id872329779?mt=2&i=1000378597618

Taking it "day by day" and just trying to figure it out in the moment will not work. Look at our history with porn viewing, has that type of approach ever worked? Not for me. Every notable success in life comes from intentional planning. A well drafted and followed plan. You either plan to succeed, or you plan to fail (by virtue of neglecting planning."

"Winners plan, losers react." -Tony Robbins

 

we can do this 88 more days only. for a better fulfilled not fool-filled life.

 

Sorry to hear. What happened?

 

30 days is a long time!!

 

indeed it is a lot of time, feel proud and this time try to make it up to 30 days+...remember to not rush yourself..we are talking about your life...you don't owe it to no one, so go at your own pace and never ever quit!

Stay Strong brother

 

great thought! thank you!

 

@hope4now , how are you doing?