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4 Month Setback

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by WerDNay, Sep 21, 2013.

  1. WerDNay

    WerDNay New Fapstronaut

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    First, a quick discussion of my progress.

    I quit porn almost exactly 4 months ago. I allowed masturbation, but made a very specific goal to not look at internet porn specifically. I didn't really consider other sources of porn, since the internet is where I'd always gotten it before.

    The Good:
    1) Got a job I liked.
    2) Got a girlfriend for the first time in three years. Was able to have sex within three months.
    3) Refocused on my health and career in ways I had been avoiding, i.e. much less procrastination.

    The Bad:
    1) I continued to invoke images of pornography mentally, even though I wasn't watching it.
    2) Wasn't able to have a full sexual experience with my girlfriend. It was still difficult, and while I'm making progress and she's very cool about everything, it is still a journey.
    3) Recently had a relapse while staying in a hotel. While I've successfully avoided internet porn, I did watch the playboy channel a few times this week, maybe half a dozen. Yes, tv is different than internet porn for a few obvious reasons, it's less immediately gratifying, but it's still obviously porn. I feel pretty guilty about it.

    The Plan:
    1) Discuss the full extent of my problem with my girlfriend.
    2) Go for a full month without any masturbation at all, and see how it works for me. I've done a week before, but know I can do more.
    3) Avoid ALL pornography, not just the internet.

    I do not feel as if I've lost all my progress, but I certainly feel the setback. There is no changing what I've learned thusfar: that I can take charge of my life, that it isn't outside my control, and that NoFap is certainly one of the most acute changes for the positive in my life.

    Wish me luck, and good luck to all of you.
     
  2. DickoryDoc

    DickoryDoc Fapstronaut

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    Good news about the wins from the 4 monts off.
    And good plan, I like it.

    (You should have put this thread in the journal/reboot section).
     
  3. Hey, you just took a huge step towards recovery. Hats off to you. You might think this was a setback, hell, it felt like it. But then again, this led you to finally realise that thinking about porn and such is just the same thing as watching it. You're invoking stuff that fires dopamine all the same, for the wrong reasons. That's what we're trying to stop doing here.

    I know this very well myself, as I've kept myself from watching porn pretty well for at least a couple of months now, yet allowed to think of it. And it always, inevitably, led me to relapse.
     
  4. mytimetochange

    mytimetochange Fapstronaut

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    Jusy be careful about telling your gf . Maybe a bad idea . Because she gonna be unsecure and she is going to want to know whay kind you watch . Its a personal experience . Good job for 4 months
     
  5. raincitycowboy

    raincitycowboy Fapstronaut

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    Sounds like a great plan! The setback can feel demoralizing - but you've done a great thing in using that energy to come up with a concrete plan to continue your journey - setforward! In response to mytimetochange's comment - I think talking with the gf about it will likely be a positive growth in your relationship with her (you're basically saying she's more important than false images so I don't see anything that would make her insecure with that). I wish you the best on your journey forward friend!
     

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