Hi, I'm Emmy. I'm 25 and live in the UK. After a series of destructive relationships and break-ups caused I believe by being addicted to orgasm, I want to get 100% clean, rebooted, then have an intentional and meaningful relationship with one man who I hope will be my future life partner and the father of my children. To this end I'm on day 11 of what I hope will be 365 days without masturbation, edging, sex, looking at porn or any other sexual stimulation. If I fail (including wet dreams) I'll start the counter back at zero. Once I've achieved a year on monk (or nun) mode I'll start dating. Only one guy at a time, and no sex until I'm sure he's 'the one'. And sex for me from now on will mean karezza, so no orgasms or clitoral stimulation. For me the pleasure motive gets in the way of making a spiritual connection, dopamine masks oxytocin/serotinin, the clitoris diverts sexuality from the vagina. I've spent my time from 17 to 25 having meaningless relationships, masturbating, being selfish and hurting the few men who meant anything to me. I want my 30s to be full of love, sharing and children's laughter. So now is the start of my transition from a trashy life to a fulfilling one.