[365-CHALLENGE] THE THREE HUNDRED AND SIXTY FIVE DAYS CHALLENGE !

Day 3/365

 

Day 15/365, about half a month.
Occasionally I'll have a thought about viewing porn, accompanied by a mild urge. At that point I can chose not to dwell or expand on the thought and it all passes away quickly. I doubt it's possible to entirely control what thoughts pop into your mind, but you can choose whether or not to dwell on them. If you're committed to not viewing porn, this is pretty easy. If you are not so committed, you might take time to expand on the thought and derive more sexual pleasure from it, taking you closer and closer to acting it out. Thoughts are powerful, they lead to actions. This can work for you or against you depending on what you dwell on.

 

11/365

 

97/365.

 

day 57...everything was going nude...accidentally got exposed to real nudity but thankfully that has not much impact on my mind...i'm as cool ass always...day 57/365

 

Day 164

 

Day 194/365

 

27 days. Had another close call last night. I'm a little shaken by it, as I felt almost out of control for a bit. However, in the end I avoided derailing my reset. And there was an upside in a way.

Every time I almost slip up I get a deeper understanding of just how big the black hole is waiting there for me, should I be foolish enough to stumble into it. Knowing how bad things can turn in a flash is something I just need to always be honest with myself about.

 

Well said buddy. It's not so much the initial thoughts that are problematic, it's letting or even encouraging them to escalate into a self-destructive direction that we need to defend against.

 

162 days completed.
Yesterday I had to programm a simulation that took me 7 to 9 hours which was supposed to go much faster. My urge to fap got really strong. This has happened to me many times, when I am really stressed my urge to fap gets that much stronger. Has anybody else experienced this? Anyways, I managed to resist the urge. My long period of abstinence makes it easier to conquer these kind of situations.

 

Back to ground Zero

Unfortunately made a major mistake to test myself when on the verge of breaking my record. I wanted to see how far I had progressed. I don't feel the unforgiving shame that usually follows after a relapse. I have learned my lesson. Never test myself. Never deliberately take a peek no matter what.

 

Day 5
Feeling low energy and urges to open porn sites.
But not going to give in to the feelings.
Going strong.
No more fapping

 

Day 110.
No time PMO.

 

Yes programming is difficult and stressful. But I'd rather solve a difficult program than to PMO.

 

178/365

 

Day 5/365
Today went really smooth.
No urges at all.
I think my phone was the only reason I was relapsing every other day.
When I come from college, I have little to no willpower to do anything. So I used to hit the sack with my phone and randomly go on google or youtube. And then I would give in to the feeling of watching porn.
That was the trigger. I understood it. My low will power reservoir after coming home from a tiring day and quick access to all the erotic content.
So I uninstalled and disabled youtube app. Spent 3 hrs setting up the phone and chrome browser to block youtube.com site and other porn sites.
And now I come home and just take a nap. After taking a nap, I feel I am more in control with my emotions and no urges show up.

 

Yes, I experience stress and the desire to escape from it a lot. I think we all know that anxiety is bad for us, and a knee jerk reaction is to dive into something that takes our mind off the problem... sex, substance abuse, whatever... leading to addiction. We need to learn new and better ways to handle our anxiety that actually make things better.

 

Yes I've fallen into that trap before too. When I had pretty bad PIED I would want to 'check' to see if it was getting better, which usually ended in a relapse. I think our brains make up these plausible excuses sometimes just to fool us into a cheap dopamine thrill. I think we can check our progression in safer ways, like just looking at our life and seeing how maybe our priorities and attitudes have changed for the better over time. Anyway just take what you've learned and move forwards with this added wisdom buddy.

 

It's funny, that number 110 sticks in my mind since it was my longest streak for quite awhile - up until I beat it by going 122 days. I hope you beat my record and keep going dude, great job!

 

Day 28. I think I'm in a critical period right now. Having had a couple close calls, I have been tempted into the darkness and that troubles me. But I want to be here alongside my bros, stepping into the light instead. Over and over again if I have to, I will keep choosing the light - I will not give up.

We must always remember there is a choice. Even when we feel temporarily powerless against what our minds and bodies are telling us, we still have a choice. We have a right to our own lives, our own destinies - we have the final say. Believe in yourselves my friends, trust that you can walk a path that leads towards healing, and self-fulfillment, and real human experiences. You can escape the phony shadow world of soul-draining porn and empty self-gratification. Others have done it, we can do it too.

So let us keep walking our paths, in our own way, at our own pace, but together as one in our shared goal to overcome this challenge which confronts our lives. Onward, friends.