Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by 2525, Dec 27, 2017.

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  1. Caleb 2020

    Caleb 2020 Fapstronaut

    secret of change.jpg

    toxic environment have been always the main reason i escaped toward porn from reality.

    I think my problem have more pschychologic root than physical, my body have learned escaping from reality toward fantasy and pmo or fmo whenever i face with unpleasant situations. whenever i feel down or face with one of my main problem in life ,i become more vulnerable to have an inclination to watch porn and or fantasizing and some how masterbation, despite the fact that i am a young doctor and have a fitness body.this issue in my life is my family ,my brother and my sister even sometimes my mother.
    despite the fact that i have made my best effort to help them to progress,they have done the things to get me down,they have been mean to me.i think because they are jealous.so be thankful for a good family that you have , unfortunately i don't have a good brother, he was the first person who showed me porn, he have been ill-tempered toward me since when i was a kid, after a time i grew up i managed to stand in front of him and his bad behavior (i,e he used to force me to do things that was a task related to him like making tea or turning the tv on or things that he wannted to do..)
    my sister have been also mean to me,despite the fact that i was nice to her, and this was a very bad problem of my life.
    fortunately after 10 or 15 years i have reached to the point that i am more successful than they are in terms of academic life and career( but still lots of works need to be done to reach my desired point.)
    i said these sentences because i discovered one of my main problem that cause me to watching porn and masterbating or escaping from reality .
    i watched porn and masterbated again today after my latest relapse three days ago .
    i am not happy nor angry . i think i found my real reason why i do fmo or pmo.
    it is the toxic and bad environment and people that i live with them in spite of the fact that i don't like to live with them.
    it is my body's response to tolerate reality when i feel bad because of this environment.this makes me to escape from reality to fantasy and what way better than porn or fmo.(if one forget about the consequences).
    for a first step i need to change the way i feel in this environment that i live in by changing my beliefs and attitudes toward things that are occurring in my environment and the second step is to move to a better circle and environment.
    i have also noticed that whenever i am feeling good and i am where i like i don't like to watch porn,even i consider it as a wrong thing to do.
    i should change my outlook and my actions toward environment.
    i should turn my attention to the point and condition i wanna become and i wanna reach,and also the state of body and finance that i like to achiave. (to become completely independent of my family)
    the cravings coming toward me when i am face with my brother and sister that have been always invaded my privacy from my personal stuff to my university's circle.
    i should get rid of the wrong people and environment ,my brother have been always mean to me ,he slept with my teacher's wife ,he slept with another person's wife, that later leads into bringing the stress and chaos into home,he have been always a porn watcher.my brother don't have any character .
    thinking about these things have been always the main thing that was deteriorating my mental power and pushing me toward escaping from reality.

    i should reset my counter because i watched porn for 4 hours and masterbated two times.

    i relapsed agian ,not because i had a stressful exam (because i did a good job on that) and not because it is a very sensitive period that i should try to be clean for a week after a relapse but because of facing with my sister that is coming into home. she is also don't have any character ..
    from now on i think it is wise to shift my thougths toward the things that is in harmony with my brilliant future and is in hamony with my desired states of being. and also toward enhancing my mental knowledge and d d d more importantly shifting my attention toward the thoughts that are constructive and build my future .it is wise to don't allocate any room for the things that are deteriotating my mental energy and ruin my body and future.

    i hope this experience would be helpful to determining another rebooter's cause to figuring out their root of inclination toward wrong things ,pmo and fmo or mo.
    day 0/
    Last edited: Jul 7, 2018
    Arc12, The_Fisher, Urðr and 4 others like this.
  2. Caleb 2020

    Caleb 2020 Fapstronaut

    there is no need to be worry about,just find the reason and solve it.
    by the way exercising in the morning helps a lot.
    Arc12, The_Fisher, Urðr and 7 others like this.
  3. ImASinnerWhoJesusSaved

    ImASinnerWhoJesusSaved Fapstronaut

    Day 8/365

    I've noticed that I have allowed my newfound energy to lead me to be argumentative. Today I am seeking to be more gracious.
    Phoenix_, Arc12, happysloth and 8 others like this.
  4. Jyas

    Jyas Fapstronaut

  5. Dr. Jekyll

    Dr. Jekyll Fapstronaut

    You are not alone in this, I can definitely relate, and no doubt others here can as well. Escapism, self-medicating, and also what I would call "pre-emptive relapses" ahead of something I don't want to face. I've also had it where when something great happens and I feel on top of the world, a couple days later relapsing and snatching defeat out of the jaws of victory - deflating everything to a low level again.

    Here is an interesting post which also echoes some of what you have said:

    We need to allow the healing process to do its job, and instead of distancing ourselves from life, do the opposite and escape from disordered sexuality, distance ourselves completely from that spiritual black hole, and deal with life's battles.

    You've been doing great as it is, but you're not done yet. With this thing uprooted and discarded, the years ahead can only unfold to become much, much greater than we could even imagine!
    Phoenix_, Arc12, Caleb 2020 and 8 others like this.
  6. Foxislander

    Foxislander Fapstronaut

    So I am at the theater and for the last 45 minutes even now when I touch and hold my wife's hand I get an extrodinary surge of energy it's not sexual but conectedness I whispered in her ear I think I feel that love has arrived and is not ever leaving, it's real made me tear up. I believe in the power of Gods healing heart for sure!! Amen , submit and surrender to God makes all other things are possible!!
    Phoenix_, Arc12, happysloth and 9 others like this.
  7. Brahmakumar101

    Brahmakumar101 Fapstronaut

    Day 2.

    I am sure I have got control this time and have finally won over the relapse effects and chaser effect. Looking for a better week after being through my worst weeks of nofap journey.

    Let's fight for this beautiful life :)
  8. Jeremy_Jr.

    Jeremy_Jr. Fapstronaut

    DAY 4 - You more than able to change your situation.
  9. Brahmakumar101

    Brahmakumar101 Fapstronaut

    What's there in the absence of light? It's the darkness. What does human mind resort to when it's alone? It inclines to the passive routes and do the most easiest things that would release dopamine. And M and PMO gets the top priority in that.

    It's nothing unusual. But don't you think that you have all the amazing hormones to deal with those unpleasant things in your life. Don't you think that you should now start feeling those situations that make you unpleasant for your growth doesn't lie in jacking off to those situations. Don't you think that you can read some books on EQ and learn to deal with those situations. Do you have some ideas on what you should be doing to face those situations?

    I never knew that you are a doctor mate. So good and noble profession you are in! :)

    And about your family mate, don't blame anyone of them.

    He may have shown you the first porn but you decided to continue that. You decided to take that road and walk on it each day knowing it was a mental poison.

    And even family members can be mean. I have faced similar situations.

    Accept the responsibility for whatever happened. It was a past and its over now. Sort out your priorities. Give time to people who value you and your time even though its a family member. You have come here alone and would leave from here alone and nothing should matter to you except your life.

    True mate. The world in nothing but sex and ego. It's a sexual world we live in. The eyes that want to explore body has to be checked. The ears that want to hear those lusty words must be controlled. Even the tongue that wants to taste exciting tastes must be kept in some check too.And the skin that burns for the touch of another skin.

    You would always get polluted if you stay in polluted air. What do you plan do about your ambience? How would you keep your senses in check?

    And you must cleanse your mind through good thoughts, meditation, yogas, noble deeds, reading and serving humanity selflessly.

    That indeed sounds a good plan. Make this work. I would be happy if you could pull this off ;)

    Porn is certainly wrong mate. It's fake. It's staged. It's addictive. It ruins countless lives. And it's an illusion at gigantic scale. No girl would like to make love the way they portray it. And most important, it's an evil thought and hence its fruits would always be evil.

    I see how people the closest to you have been the most troublesome for you. But remember mate, it's your life. Every moment you spend with someone moulds your character. What would you do to minimize the time you spend with your brother? How can you avoid your sister? Can you explain them about your life and the bigger goals you want and how they are being a hindrance to you?

    You gotto take some decision mate and speak on the face else family members become parasite and suck onto your life while keeping you weak. Don't you want your life and goals? Just because they share something common with you doesn't mean that they can treat your time and your mind and you the way they want. What would you do about this?

    That indeed sounds amazing. How would you make it work each day of your life?

    I wish you all the best mate. Hope you take back fill control of your life and achieve your goals to lead a luxurious independent life. I have now picked myself up again and now targeting 2 years clean. All the best. Let's compete ;)
    Phoenix_, Arc12, Caleb 2020 and 8 others like this.
  10. Alax

    Alax Fapstronaut

    Day 14. Feeling good and thoughts of P are lessening.
    Phoenix_, Jeremy_Jr., Arc12 and 8 others like this.
  11. AVENT

    AVENT Fapstronaut

  12. Urðr

    Urðr Fapstronaut

    Day 160/365
    About a month has passed since I posted the latest post. How's it going on your beautiful journey, my friends?
    Actually, I was really tired of using the internet these days; but I wanted to see how you all were doing,
    so I started liking all of your comments 3 days ago, then I hated that something like "you can't send likes over 50 in a half of day" you know. lol
    You all seem to be doing well, I should take a leaf out of your book and staying clean.

    I began a habit of meditation since July 1st, it's becoming fun for me to do, especially, it's good to do in the early morning. Reading is also good.
    I'm becoming be able to wake up by 5 a.m., but someday I fail; I can't still control my sleeping cycle, and I have to make efforts on it.

    Keep going my friends, stay motivated and stay clean! I hope all of you'll have a great journey with 365-days challenge.
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2018
    Beamer, Phoenix_, Jeremy_Jr. and 12 others like this.
  13. Ezpz

    Ezpz Fapstronaut

    1 day closer to a better life.

    Last edited: Jul 8, 2018
    Phoenix_, Jeremy_Jr., Arc12 and 10 others like this.
  14. The_Fisher

    The_Fisher Fapstronaut

  15. Joe from China

    Joe from China Fapstronaut

    I went for a walk in the park this morning and I saw a couple kissing. My penis was erected, and I was too sensitive.
    I didn't sleep well last night. I had some pornographic dreams.
    I need a full rest
    Relax, take your time
    Bless you all
  16. Caleb 2020

    Caleb 2020 Fapstronaut


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