34/life. End of my NoFap journey.

Introduction:
I'm a 20 years old guy who started masturbating when i was 8 or 9. I did it for 11-12 years like 5-6 times a week.
My view on masturbation changed during this time period:
1) 8-11 - ,, If feels great and i enjoy it but i know i should keep it a secret from others,,
2)11-15- ,,IT feels great, and now i can speak about it with my friends, seems a normal thing to do,,
3)15-16 ,, It feels great but i cant seem to be in control of it,, I just go with the flow,,
4)16-17 (big life changes) ,, I can't control my urges, i know when they are there and i just fulfill them,,
5)18-19 (big life changes) PMO is consuming too much time and i know i would like to do other things, but i cant either get my ass doing those other things on a constant basis, so i wont stop masturbation now because i do not have any other powerfull tool to release stress. First i need to discipline myself, organize my life, find a better way to relese/react to stressful situation, then i will find a solution to masturbation.
19-20) (big life changes) My system is complete, now i know i can give up on masturbation because i have the ,, tools,, to fulfill that gap.

From 15 till now i've been into self-improvment, hypnosis, PNL, psychology and i continued working on myself day and night and i still do.

So, at 19 years old i was ready to give up on masturbation, so i started my nofap journey, i made it to 22 days then masturbated only to see how it feels after a soo long time of abstinence. I had very powerful urges during those 22 days but i never fought them, i studied, observed them and understood their nature. Had also sex dreams , fantasizing.

Then back to day 1. This time i said to myself: fuck it! So i decided to stop my urges and my sex drems. I got to 34 days and now i feel that my pmo habit is gone. It isn't part of my life cus there is no space for it.(i can control to some extent my feeling)

Pmo was only a small fight in my life, i have others going on which require much more control and mental resorces to dedicate.

What i think?

About masturbation.
I think about it not as a problem but as a ineffective-short time solution to a problem(if you do consider it a problem at all). Exemple: i do masturbate because i feel lonely and i feel lonely cus i dont have friend and dont have them because i cant talk to people because i am too anxious and i'm anxious because i fear rejection. In this case the real enemy is : fear of rejection. (This is an exemple; non everyone that is lonely feels rejection and not everyone that feels rejection is lonely and masturbates)
Sometimes the ,, real enemy,, is not that obvious, and you may not be aware of it, because you brain has blocked the experience because its too painful. Or you may be aware of it but can do nothing to change it.


About quitting masturbation.
I thinks that you have to reduce masturbation to a ,, plesure for pleasure,, habit first and overcome ,,pleasure for pain,,. I have a problem, i dont know what the fuck to to so i need to release stress, i masturbate. Problem gone, tomorrow repeat same pattern. By ,,pleasure for pleasure,, i mean: i dont have any problems related to masturbation and you just do it for pleasure. How you know you are doing it only for pleasure? Check you feelings: guilt, shame, frustration; do you feel them? then you are on the wrong path.


About quitting porn
it depend on how grounded you are to reality and how you react to it. If you are aware that porn is not reality and if you dont think that you need a 10 inch cock, and all that crap to have a satisfying sex life and that they are actors and they do work to entartain you then i think you are grounded. If you feel that you are ,, inadequate,, beacause you are not like them porn is harm for you. Porn is like a gun: you can kill a person but you can also split nuts with it. Porn wont harm you, eventually you wil harm youself through porn.

About helping others quit porn.
Personally, i dont believe in the self-affermation, positive quotes, motivational speeches because in my experience the key to quit anything is not motivation but i think that it is discipline. Motivation is like starting a fire but you need discipline to keep it going.
,, New year, new me, from now on i'm going to rule the world, do that and that and bla bla bla,, this is a motivated person. 3 days later: woke up, feel like shit, need a cheat-day,,.
When you have discipline you wake up, feel like shit, but you jump outside the bed and do what you have to do, no excuses. You are in pain, GREAT! pain is you best friend cus you are both the marble and the sculptor.
I dont know how i can teach discipline but i hope that on this site are people who can do it and be useful for the nofap community.


Everything i wrote is according to my subjective experience and in the context of my life. If you agree , great, if not and you think that with your thoughts and behavior you can be a better-functioning invididual then GREAT.



Hope you all reach your goals!


I'm leaving nofap for now, be back in 90 days /1 year.