31 yr old, wants to quit P for good and start living.

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by bathtub, Jun 12, 2017.

  1. A1exV

    A1exV Fapstronaut

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    Sorry I reacted out of judgement, your frustration is completely legit and of course expression of any emotion is vital. At the same time I thought I spotted some self condemnation in what you were saying which, in my experience usually leads to more of the behaviour that caused the frustration in the first place, hope it all works out.
     
  2. bathtub

    bathtub Fapstronaut

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    thanks dude, there is definitely truth in what you said and it can be part of the problem!!
     
    A1exV likes this.
  3. bathtub

    bathtub Fapstronaut

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    urges a little strong today. overall its been quite straight forward... peace brothers
     
  4. bathtub

    bathtub Fapstronaut

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    still away from p. its getting easier with time.. fingers crossed i can double this number
     
    seekingabetterlife likes this.
  5. bathtub

    bathtub Fapstronaut

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    starting the day as I mean to go on.

    Early morning actions that are positive will set the standard for each day..

    this addiction has found its way back into my life recently. I seem to forget to that I have an addiction and justify to myself its not that bad. It's really insidious and I dont realise I am secretly justifying. "oh just this one time"
    I am considering doing the NoFap course as a way to structure me.
    I have booked myself a personal trainer at the gym starting next week which is positive.
    Things in my life are going well but I just seem to always fall back to porn whenever I am bored, feeling wired or feeling an emotion I want to escape.
    Its annoying at the click of a button you can basically get virtual heroin...
    I am trying to start the day as I mean to go on. Everyday in the morning I want to focus on the fact I dont want to use porn all of that day.
    Each day as it comes.


    *****

    first day complete. worked all day and night. time for sleep



    1/90 today
     
    Last edited: Jun 20, 2018
  6. bathtub

    bathtub Fapstronaut

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    Day 2.

    Im addicted found myself trying to peep last night. Thank God for k9.i dont work at home anymore thank God. Im reading books more and developing healtheir habits.

    Got to end of day 11.40pm and ready for bed.. no need for porn when you work hard. had a connection with a girl on a train; thats what i want to pursue; real life.
     
    Last edited: Jun 21, 2018
  7. bathtub

    bathtub Fapstronaut

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    socialised... had a great time... staying with friends over the weekend... away from the computer... real human reaction is much closer to what attraction should be. my perfectionist nature leads to porn; need to be social with humans to cut that side out of me.
     
  8. bathtub

    bathtub Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys!

    I made it to 58 days which isnt bad but its not not quite 90 days. Ive been thinking about to take the next step.

    I really want to stop obectifying woman as simple as that sounds, its something deep down I struggle to stop doing! I'm trying guys!!!
    gonna write here everyday again!

    i do think im seriously messed up by this addiction. it terrifies me. i feel addicted to fantasies and im scared it will never go away...

    peace everyone
     
    Last edited: Aug 10, 2018
  9. bathtub

    bathtub Fapstronaut

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    Day 13 - ive been away for a long time as I wanted to stop writing on here until I can actually get on a streak.

    loads of urges today! but i had sex on the weekend and i was surprised by the lack of connection or feeling with a real person compared to pmo. sooo really feel more motivasted than ever
     
    Last edited: Oct 23, 2018
    seekingabetterlife likes this.
  10. HopeFaith

    HopeFaith Fapstronaut

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    Addiction is a coping method with emotional disregulation. It stops one form feeling the full extended of their traumatic feelings. To heal, one needs to start learning Self regulation skills. Once you have them, you addiction will become greatly minimised and one day .... gone.
     
  11. bathtub

    bathtub Fapstronaut

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    I figured i'd post an update to gain a bit of perspective for myself as I aim for 90 days.
    Early days, taking each day as it comes

    Stuff that helps

    meditating every morning
    writing out my thoughts for 5 minutes every morning after meditation.
    checking in with an accountability partner everyday
    k9 blocker
    good sleep
    focus on long term goals
    reading through my diary on here and noting triggers from the past
    playing pro evolution soccer when i get home late (sorry guys not a fifa man)
    reading peoples relapse posts

    Reason for nofap 90 days
    when I was growing up I never imagined that i'd be incapable of having meaningful/good sex way into my early thirties.
    disclaimer
    I am having sex with a girl im seeing atm, she's very supportive about nofap and she understands I dont want to orgasm...


    benefits so far

    motivation to actually have sex, (still not a lot of feeling though)
    more energy and drive to accomplish things
    feel physically fitter
    not ejaculating subsides depression
    more mental clarity
    overall improvement in life skills

    triggers


    not having k9 on
    hubris
    someone elses laptop (no k9) yeah im an addict
    spending an evening on my laptop (better to watch tv on my ps4)
    when i'm not at work
    boredom
    sadness i'm used to blocking out
    having sex
    youtube (blocked)
    netflix
    setbacks


    i'll update again soon.
     
    Last edited: Apr 16, 2019 at 6:06 AM
  12. Heráclito

    Heráclito Fapstronaut



    You are doing great man! Im noticing the things that are helping you to apply (like meditation as you already told me before). I will read peoples relpase post too.

    I am glad you are spending time with a partner that does support you, that not an easy to find!!
    Thanks for beign there!! You are awsome
     
    bathtub likes this.

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