30 y/o male... looking for a Accountability Partner

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by risk taker, Jan 8, 2017.

  1. risk taker

    risk taker Fapstronaut

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    hi
    I am new here. I am looking for an accountability partner. I like short achievable goals. I love to make a 3 day challenge, once we can accomplish that we can make 1 week challenge and then 2 week and 1 month. And once we see ourselves being succesfull we will get the confidence to go for longer runs like 90 days and 1 yr.
    If there are other more experienced members who have a better idea, please feel free to share.
    Looking for an accountability partner.
     
  2. Perseusthehero

    Perseusthehero Fapstronaut

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    Risk taker. Hello. I recently joined too and if you want we can encourage each other. I have gone 6 days now without porn. I find this site a few days ago and joined. Prior to joining I went 18 days with PMO. Then I relapsed for about two weeks. I've started over again. My new goal is 30 days that is until the end of January. You can succeed if you really want to. Avoid all the triggers that lead to PMO. If you are a praying man then pray for strength. If you use the computer get off it as soon as you can I know I would just linger on it after what I needed to was done. Soon I was watching porn. Let's stay in touch if you want. I believe in you. You can make it through today. Make today your short term goal! Perseus.
     
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  3. risk taker

    risk taker Fapstronaut

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    Perseusthehero !
    Thanks for the encouragement. Yes, we both can stay in touch. I am studying for an exam and i need the computer to do Questions and study. And sometimes when i procrastinate I end up with PMO. But I found this website that provides a free software: K9 Web Protection Administration
    So I have installed that and I added some other sites like facebook, primewire and some other sites where I procrastinate other than porn. So this should make me stay on track.
    And you are right on with praying. I have decided to pray 3 times a day for 3-5 mins. And this shall help too.
    I plan to stay on track until end of Jan as well.
    Thanks for support buddy.
     
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  4. Perseusthehero

    Perseusthehero Fapstronaut

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    Hello Risk Taker (RT),
    How's your transformation journey going? I found this article and I thought you might receive encouragement and hope from it. Perseus.

    Whether you're trying to learn how to hit a curveball, dribble with your left hand or fade a 7 iron, it takes practice, patience, commitment and time. The same is true for achieving a lasting and meaningful recovery from sexual addiction.

    If your history of using sex to medicate your feelings of unworthiness started over 35 years ago then you are not going to rewire your body and brain back to normalcy overnight.

    There's a saying that if you walk 5 miles into the woods, it's at least a 5-mile walk out. I'm not saying that you have a 35-year journey to recovery, but the unhealthy thinking over the past 35 years will need to be rewired and it will take time.

    I believe one of the best traits a recovering person can have is patience.

    Often times we want the quick fix or the get rich quick scheme instead of the "slow and steady" way of the turtle. In my work with recovering sex addicts I often see the individual that comes to a meeting the first day and is so gung ho and wants to recover TODAY!

    While I admire their enthusiasm and don't want to dash their dreams I believe the only way true recovery can work is by implementing the "one day at a time" attitude.

    When I'm feeling:

    • Angry
    • Lonely
    • Anxious
    • Fearful
    ...it's much easier and in many ways seems much more normal to revert back to old ways of thinking; "If only I looked at some porn I'd feel better." Or, "If only I masturbated or hooked up with so and so, then I'd feel better." But in the end, I'm not making myself a better person by giving in.

    Instead, I have to put in the hard work to make my new tools more effective.

    The 6 daily tools of my recovery are:

    • I need to spend every day connecting with a community and sharing what's going on in my life.
    • I need to tell those close to me how I'm feeling so they get to know me and see my struggles.
    • I need to be vulnerable.
    • I need to spend quiet time in prayer and meditation
    • I need to ask for help.
    But I can't start this and expect instant relief. The truth is, I have to be patient and I have to be committed and I have to let time work its magic. I believe the program of recovery is a program of action. I need to take action, whatever that looks like and however small a step it is, but I need to take it NOW.

    And I need to take it the next day and the next day until I have a whole bunch of good activities piled on top of each other. Then and only then will my mind and body start to be rewired and the end result will be a better, happier, more peaceful me. A me that makes this world a better place. A me that my loved ones and I can be proud of.

    So what are you going to do today? Not tomorrow. Today.
     
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  5. risk taker

    risk taker Fapstronaut

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    Yes! Good one... I needed this.
    Thanks for sharing. I think NoFap challenge is the mental strength and discipline. And this can radiate in all areas of life. For this reason, I also take cold showers. Something to add onto the mental strength.
     
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