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30 Days free of sex chat

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Deleted Account, Dec 10, 2015.

  1. This was by far my hardest thing to let go off ive not relapsed once with porn sites and masturbation, edging or orgasm. But seeking and responding to sex messages I relapsed over and over.

    I feel great, fresh and my mind is the most relaxed, clean and positive it has been for many many years.

    If you are currently sex chatting give it up NOW. Its no good for your brain. It literally fucks your brain up.

    This also marks a full run of 30 days hardmode of abstinence Including the sex chat arousal.

    In that time ive had 1 WD and the occasional morning woodie, virtually no other arousal at all.

    I intend and want to only have sexual intimacy with a real physical woman now and will wait for that. No more digital shit will fill and warp my brain like it has done in the past whether it is still or moving images or text on a glowing screen.

    I dont want it or need it. The real deal only now or nothing at all.
     
    dude01, blueeyes, hueY300 and 16 others like this.
  2. haha read the title a bit wrong and thought you were advertising 'Free sex chat'!

    Good work on stopping. Never been into it myself but I can see that it must crowd out real life.
     
    Low and britaxe like this.
  3. ifthisislove

    ifthisislove Fapstronaut

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    Excellent work. Keep at it!

    I should add from my point of view: one trick that seems to be working for me at the moment is telling myself "I DON'T do porn", rather than "I won't do porn.."

    See the difference in mindset and language used? A small change can make such a big difference.
     
  4. Stoic

    Stoic Fapstronaut

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    sexchats are useless, it gives you triggers and triggers and more and more dopamine.Later there will be the withdral symptons with the accumalation of deltafosB.

    To the people who still does sexchats ban that, and go out man, start to living life
     
    Tesslynne and britaxe like this.
  5. im_alive

    im_alive Fapstronaut

    Well done Britaxe. I've never used sex chats before, so wouldn't know what that felt like. But good stuff - you are a legend!!
     
    britaxe likes this.
  6. @im_alive DO NOT EVER GO THERE... believe me they fuck with the brain balance worse than porn ever will and if you happen on the wrong chat blackmail is a VERY REAL possibility.
     
    blueeyes, lantti, SuperLulox and 4 others like this.
  7. volt2187

    volt2187 Guest

    Awesome work yet again britaxe! It seems sex chats are just another form of porn, in that it's an artificial stimulation and dopamine release, with the added negatives that you mentioned. It kinda of goes along with how I used to view porn in that
    I strictly viewed softcore porn which was mostly modeling, because I thought it would be "better" for me then the hardcore stuff, lmfao
     
    britaxe likes this.
  8. @ifthisislove I've been telling my self "I don't do" for a while now. You are right, approaching it like this works. It is a mindset.

    It is @volt2187 just another form of porn but it's all imagination. Eventually be wired to the fucking cellphone, being aroused when it beeps because a "certain" sex chat tone denotes mystery and that will get you going. until the next one you send and are waiting for a reply... all the time the dopamine drips. Eventually it won't be enough and the chats will get stronger and more dirtier ... just like the bottomless pit of high speed porn. NOT FUCKIN WORTH IT PERIOD!
     
    SuperLulox likes this.
  9. im_alive

    im_alive Fapstronaut

    Thanks @britaxe - I don't plan too - sounds dangerous!
     
  10. BushidoWarrior

    BushidoWarrior Fapstronaut

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    I'm very happy for you comrade. Sex chat is currently my most pernicious trigger, and the chief cause of many of my relapses. You give me hope that I can move past it. Wishing you continued success!
     
    britaxe likes this.
  11. now that is amazing!!!! i think i am finally done with my litle addiction of looking at personal adds....i think the dirty talk. is the same thing we are just getting out of, the highly sexual language is perhaps one of the final things of watching P.
    now what is my next goal? the 3 second rule looking at women..darn! but the good news is i think that will be about the last for me, besides m
     
  12. numpty

    numpty Fapstronaut

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    Guys you do know sex chat on a screen can be robotic? Ie an advanced programme that chats like a real human?

    Or worse still it could be a guy pretending to be a girl....

    There's a lot of dodgy stuff out there especially when it comes to parting you with your money....
     
  13. Tesslynne

    Tesslynne Guest

    Good point.
    One of my things was sex chat. Anyway, several men I also talked to said that they had been video sex chatting with a certain woman (NOT me!! Another woman!) and then she turned around and tried to blackmail them. I also had a man threaten to blackmail me!
    In my case, it was because he didn't like it when I said maybe I'll chat tomorrow, maybe I won't and he threatened to share the video, he said he'd recorded it. That day I felt suicidal all day and thought about really killing myself.
    A few months later we chatted again with clothes on! and he said he was only lying and begged me to do it again but of course no way!
    But also, those guys had a woman try to blackmail them for money.
    One of them, I warned him about this and he STILL got sucked into it and told me about it.
     
  14. Tesslynne

    Tesslynne Guest

    Yup,
    I was asking the women on the chat site something, nothing that sexual just about it is sex gonna be OK when I am even older..anyway, one of the "women" said to me "I am actually a guy pretending to be a woman."
    and I was like (swearing cat warning, sorry but I love this cat) (I may have to use it on my journal here too)
    [​IMG]
    I don't know WHY he was pretending to be a woman. I don't mean as in "I am a sissy" which some guys are, dressing in girly clothes and calling themselves a sissy. I mean as in he had put down on his profile that he's a woman. But he's not.
    And a lot of guys would say that there to me, that there are men pretending to be women there. NO IDEA WHY.
     
  15. mcrcvrng

    mcrcvrng Fapstronaut

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    Would you like to know why?

    It's actually good timing, I'm reading the part in Breaking the Cycle on subpersonalities. But lets back up. It should come as no surprise that some guys like lesbian porn. What do you think happens when they see a lot of it? They become identified with the women in it - or I should say the women portrayed in there. I mean what else is there to identify with, it's all women.

    Some even report a perceived change in gender identity and sexual orientation, but as it points out in Your Brain on Porn that's really from the porn, not the persons natural inclination/orientation.

    The thing is it is really about your mind at that point. And I'd say there may even be preference for chatting over watching a video because you want to connect with a real person, the recorded porn is not interactive and I know for me I never considered the paid cam stuff because they are obviously professionals, even if they are amateur professionals. It's about getting into a story rather than the stimulation. If there is stimulation it's psychological stimulation.

    What it comes down to is we want to fool ourselves into thinking there's a real connection with a real person, and if that has to involve taking on a persona that isn't even your gender (but is your orientation) that can happen given enough time and exposure. It's like in a weird way you teach yourself to be liked by women involves becoming a woman, really getting into that mindset and believing it on a certain level of your mind. I'd imagine it's like acting in a sense and being so into the role that you lose yourself to this identity you've created.

    And the thing is, the better you are at it the more you can draw people in, because the way a lot of people chat is fairly superficial. You get to the point where you can spot guys who are faking it because you've gotten to the point where you've really put a lot into the persona, and they make mistakes you wouldn't make.

    So when it gets to that point it's really a kind of psychological addiction. Sure a lot of porn is psychological, but when it comes to this it's like being addicted to creating a realistic experience. It's like if you wrote stories you're REALLY invested in, except you're improvising in a live conversation. You get off on being convincing, both for the other person and yourself. I'd say it's worse in a way because you're basically fooling yourself, and my theory is it's a kind of escalation. It's not so much that you start watching more extreme forms of porn, you become the one that creates it if you will. Even if only a small part involves sex, because a lot of it might be building up a character, it really messes with you psychologically as you can imagine.

    And yes, I should know because I used to do it. It's called catfishing. And I was good at it. I could spot other guys who wasn't convincing, and I could fool real women into thinking I was one.
     
    lantti likes this.
  16. Tesslynne

    Tesslynne Guest

    You're absolutely right there. As I have said elsewhere, MY thing used to be sex chat (plus erotic stories.)
    Anyway, I have been threatened plus about 4-5 guys I chatted to in my old chatroom were also blackmailed.
    For me the guy got mad that I didn't want to continue talking to him the next day on so he threatened.
    Months later, he messaged me again and he said he was joking and he BEGGED me to do it again. I told him how i was almost suicidal over the last time. Anyway, about 4-5 guys told me how they were blackmailed by this same woman (I almost wanted to find a way to CATCH this woman!) Fortunately, none of them paid her, the ones who told me what happened. With ONE guy, I WARNED him NOT to do it and told him what had happened and he thought he'd be fine but not, she caught HIM too. It's just NOT worth it.
     
    im_alive likes this.
  17. Chetan0208

    Chetan0208 Fapstronaut

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    hey, i did a text or two with my girlfriend and those were a double meaning, is it right to talk little double meaningly to my girlfriend?
     
  18. Dr.mike

    Dr.mike Fapstronaut

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    thanks for sharing
     
  19. mcrcvrng

    mcrcvrng Fapstronaut

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    That's been the issue, I'm doing alright otherwise .. maybe I should start a challenge/AP thread for this..
     
    Chetan0208 likes this.

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