3 years later...

3 years ago I was hooked on all things porn and vice. I was stressed as fuck at work. I was visiting rub n tug massage palours and engaging in phonesex, cybersex and watching porn at great personal cost to myself and my marriage.

3 years ago to this day is the last time I visited a rub n tug. I came home after a night of heavy drinking and stopped in at one of those places. It was so seedy. Anyway I was hungover and guilt ridden the following morning and confessed to my wife. We had an almost newborn at the time. I was in a depressed and anxious cycle of self loathing. She didn't kick me put but obviously she was shattered.

In the last three years I have taken stock of my life and reflected on where I want to be and have taken on this addiction.

I am not perfect but as of today:

• I am 3 years since seeing a rub n tug (i'll never go back).
• I am 60 days PMO free.
• I exercise and meditate daily.
• I have taken full ownership of my addiction.
• I listen to motivational podcasts and read literature by David Goggins, Jocko Willink and Jordan B Peterson.
• I limit my alcohol intake

I am so much happier now, i'm no longer anxious or guilty, I am proud of myself and eager to continue this journey. I have a clear head and I can walk tall knowing I am not hiding my issues or betraying my wife.

We can all do this guys and girls. Thank you to this forum for being a support along the way.

 

Good for you man
I can relate to the guilt because of this stuff being married, it’s very difficult to deal with emotionally
I wish you all the power you need

 

Great to hear!
Good work mate.

 

Honestly if ever you feel like you can't do it or you are not strong enough I promise you that you can.

All your excuses are lies. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. We can all do this.

I am not extraordinary. I'm just a guy who is sick of my life and chose to change it for the better