29 years old - Married - 40 days (second attempt)

Hi guys,

I posted in May at 90 days maybe little premature (no pun intended) with this article:

https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/90-days-how-to-be-a-better-man.173531/

While I'll say the days have not been as dark as they were when I first started, I fell into the rabbit hole this summer again and now I am at about 40 days this time.

I got a little cocky too soon and thought I was fine. I unfortunately I fell into masterbation habits with pictures, particularly on "the chive". Well it's not porn I realize I was doing the exact same thing as I was scanning for an hour at a time while beating it looking for "the one". I eventually did watch a couple of amateur videos though still thought I was fine. Then my wife and I went on vacation and there it was, I was having issues. I was able to get it up most times though I also had a few moments of ED where I either couldn't get it up or a pretty weak sauce erection. I thought the first time was my rock bottom and it was though this time I've taken it a lot more serious in terms of research and staying away from triggers.

At about day 40 I have morning wood every day and a few random erections, libido is up and down. My wife and I did have sex the other day which was interesting. I went from a full boner too soft before penetration, so I went down on her, when she got off then I got hard again and was able to finish. Obviously not ideal though I'll take that as a win. Haven't masterbated once this time around, no instagram, no chive...

I've literally spent dozens of hours reading almost every success story on here and and YBOP (most of which are the same) which has given me hope. There are definitely days where I feel like it's something else that's the problem and not porn though I'm swearing off porn regardless as I'm tired of hiding stupid shit from my wife (she knows I used to watch porn).

In terms of advice, read my first article as I still stand by that though in reading everyones stories I have a couple of things guys should consider.

1) Use NOFAP as a opportunity to improve your entire life. Becareful with "super power" expectations. While the body is awesome you still have to do the work or you're going to be let down eventually. Clean up your diet, do physical things, read, educate yourself. I'm not a "great" looking guy though my wife and pretty well every girl I've been with likes me because I'm nice, but not a pushover, strong but not a meat head, I read constantly though I'm not an arrogant academic. Theres a theme there. If you find maybe your in one of the extremes try to bring yourself to the middle, obviously every dude wants to be jacked and eat good though be careful with making it the centre of your life extrinsically.

2) Keep on top of your mental health. While the flatline can change you in some pretty interesting ways, be cognizant of your mental health. It's 2018 and it's more than acceptable to seek help. I work in a profession where I see mental illness every day from "normal" dudes. Keep the booze in the check and be careful with weed in particular as drug induced psychosis is a very real and scary thing. Get help, please, it's not fair to you or your partners to be dealing with a debby downer all day and frankly if left untreated that stuff can get very serious eventually.

I'll post this now and think of some other things. I'm sticky around this time too so feel free to ask any questions.

 

Maybe it's the NoFap forum effect, but I had sex (2nd time since starting again) the other night and I was pretty decent, not my greatest showing but my wife was more than impressed considering how the last few years have gone.

I think something thats clicking for me this time around that didn't last time is the NoFap part of it (go figure). Although I'm firm believer that porn is the issue and you'll see 90% of your success through abstaining from porn. Though it's crazy for how not fapping and the effects that come with it are eye opening. I'm still coming to terms with the fact that fapping everyday whether it's to porn or no porn is not healthy. While I won't go as far as calling it a super power I'll say it definitely feels like your "unleashed". For me anyway it's more time, more energy, greater sense of self worth. Coming from a background in the military I've always been proud of my self discipline except for porn and NoFap. While I've always tried to not give unsolicited advice I feel like I'm at the point in my life to where I can truly add value to a young guy and actually have a good idea of what I'm talking about.

One of the other benefits I've taken from NoFap is self reflection, as in if NoFap was affecting me this much what else could I improve for the better and what else have I being telling myself lies about. Ironically when I decided enough was enough, my wife just mentioned that she wants to stop drinking for 30 days which now has led to be even longer. Although I haven't given up drinking I've greatly reduced it which was a major trigger for me when alone.

Keep getting after it.