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28 y o Virgin

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by wolverine88, Aug 23, 2017.

  1. wolverine88

    wolverine88 New Fapstronaut

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    Hi,
    I'm 28 yo virgin living away from family and friends because of work.
    My work needs me to be travelling almost on daily basis.I meet up with my friends/family maximum 2 times in a year.

    This makes my work uninteresting.
    I wake up with a hardon everyday .Been masturbating since 2004 almost once or twice a week.But due to my new work and loneliness I have been masturbating almost daily since last 18 months.(sometimes more than one time) everytime while watching porn
    I dont know if I 'll be able to get hard with a girl.Getting worried .I 've put on weight and started losing hair also.
    Recently joined gym . Almost been regular since last 1 month, but unable to get rid of masturbation habit.
    Thing is I'm very shy guy ,can't talk with girls. Guys also think I'm very reserved.
    Im a social drinker and non smoker.

    I've joined here to meet new people who are having troubles like me and also make myself lose this disgusting habit.
     
  2. recoome

    recoome Fapstronaut

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    I am very shy and cannot talk with people. I wish I had a gf but it's okay. right now i got zero real life friends and i'm sort of coming to terms with that.

    i feel very very awkward around people and really prefer to be alone. i've had few friends and they live away now. they've sort of moved on with their lives so i dont call them much and the loneliness is worse.

    but i'm okay with that. i tried socializing and it's not for me. i'd rather be alone that be miserable with people.
     
    Flyhigh likes this.
  3. wolverine88

    wolverine88 New Fapstronaut

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    I want to have GF because of the work , I need to have some sort of person to forget things around me .
    most of my friends are also living in a far away place.
    But how are you maintaining NoFap ? Whats the highest you have been without PMO
     
    Flyhigh likes this.
  4. CompulsiveCrab

    CompulsiveCrab Fapstronaut

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    i think it's time to fight or flight. and more specifically i mean to better yourself through self improvement, or ride insanity and become in a cycle of masturbation, anti-social behavior, and no luck with girls.
     
    Flyhigh and WesternWolf like this.
  5. gonna-fix-this

    gonna-fix-this Fapstronaut

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    Some advice for you, if I may, since I've been there. It's took me a while but I got myself out of that pit. I currently suffer from PIED but I KNOW that's only temporary.

    1/ Sort yourself out. This is easier than you think. Joining a gym is great but get yourself a bench and a pair of dumbbells so you can workout whilst at home to. Now here is the thing: diet goes hand-in-hand with exercise. I won't tell you what to eat (that's easy to learn) but what is crucial is to be accountable; log everything in a spreadsheet. This is the only way you are going to know WHY things are working or not. If you really want it to work, you will start to do everything right. If you conquer this, your self-esteem will sky-rocket and all of the 'impossible walls' you have in your head, your social anxiety etc. will soon evaporate.

    2/ Lower your expectations with girls: by this I don't mean give up on them but don't consider every interaction as a situation to get stressed about. Really though, if you sort out 1/ first, you will start to get a lot more of the attention you want

    I've transformed myself. You can too.
     
  6. wolverine88

    wolverine88 New Fapstronaut

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    Thanks @gonna-fix-this .
    Today I have resisted PMO ,i somehow wanted it badly today morning.
    As i live alone and especially mornings are difficult.
    Maybe Nofap is really helping .
    I know its a long way to go but there is definitely some change
     
    Flyhigh and gonna-fix-this like this.
  7. wolverine88

    wolverine88 New Fapstronaut

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    Relapsed yesterday.
    Actually I was going very well till yesterday ,then some things lead to opening porn,and I wasted 1 hr .Feeling miserable.
    4 days without PMO.I think I was working too much on Sunday , Monday I was feeling very tired and restless.Didnt have much sleep ,Can this be a cause for sudden change.Because I remember it was going great till yesterday

    P.S :This Badge is not updating
     
    Flyhigh likes this.
  8. gonna-fix-this

    gonna-fix-this Fapstronaut

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    Relapsed again myself today.. oh well.. not going to beat myself up about it and try again. The positive thing in your last message is 'going great'. If you feel great at just 4 days, it's easy to get right back there
     
    Flyhigh likes this.
  9. Dr_prof

    Dr_prof Fapstronaut

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    perhaps consider seeing if there are any slaa anorexia meetings near you. It sounds like your fears would be addressed by this group. Just an idea.
     
  10. mcgrim

    mcgrim Fapstronaut

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    Don't beat yourself up you will do better. When it comes to women I would suggest not focusing on getting a girl friend because this probably puts so much pressure on you that it feels overwhelming. If you could develop a friendship with a woman then you could get better with them. Friendship in my opinion is the foundation of a good relationship.
     
    Flyhigh likes this.
  11. hello there, then have a good time on forums
     
  12. I'm about to be a 25 year old virgin. I'm also for the most part a shy and reserved person and I'm also unsure whether I'll get hard if I came close to an interaction. So far I have stuck to cold showers and a light exercise regiment, as well as any opportunity to get out of the house. When I exercise I mainly focus on weights but I have heard people say that different routines could be more effective in avoiding masturbation. I'm not a very big fan of cardio but I may dive into it anyway. I like how you addressed your relapse and continue to movie forward, a positive mindset and perseverance go a long way.
     
    Flyhigh likes this.
  13. AV007

    AV007 Fapstronaut

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    I'm 23. had gf. she died. i got addicted to drugs porn and masturbation. i found a new partner all she wanted money nothing more. more depression. but I've now started to manage all. I've began to be spiritual.
     
  14. SeriousPanda

    SeriousPanda Fapstronaut

    Hello Wolverine its interesting and encouraging to me you are facing the same problems i am facing... thats why i am able to say you can easily change if you understand yourself.. you know you need a girl you know you have to stop PMO, you know what you need and how to get it, the next step is how to get there?
    for me.. i know if i watch porn or have sex at least at this point in my progress i will feel like shit, i do what ever i can to avoid that feeling.
    my advice for you is cut anything that is bad for your goal and start new habits (gym, book) whatever it is interesting to your self-improvement plan.
     
    Flyhigh and WesternWolf like this.

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