DAY 34 Urges were lower today. The amount of sexual thoughts has decreased. There were mainly images, and only a couple of them were violent. Generally, they weren't difficult to let go. Redirecting my attention towards writing certainly helps. What I'm having difficulty is fantasizing at the designated times. I chose them because I generally caught myself fantasizing during those periods, so I thought it would make it easier. However, I find it hard to fantasize on cue. I'm there thinking, "Oh, so dirty thoughts come to me all the time, but now that I need them, they won't come at all!" I'll keep at it, but it's proving difficult. Ah, yeah, that happens to me a lot. I wonder if when there's no fantasizing, it's just my natural sex drive, but it's hard to tell as of now. I know for sure the urge to watch porn is pretty much gone, but the desire for sexual gratification is still there and, according to the therapist, will always be there. It's normal for people with a healthy sex drive. It doesn't make it less annoying, though, especially if you don't have a partner at the moment. Same to you. You will get here and continue growing. Congrats on the double digits!