25 y/o Newbie, looking to combat DE & increase libido IRL

Hey all, I'm a 25 year old male from London and I started my reboot last week sometime (can't quite remember what day!).

I've called myself Delay Olé because the main thing I'm trying to combat with a reboot is Delayed Ejaculation (DE) and I wanted to make light of it by rhyming it with a playful word - the Spanish word 'ole', meaning Bravo.

I've been using porn on and off ever since I started masturbating aged 13. There have been times when I've used sites every day, and other times when I've gone weeks without looking at the site.

However, one bad habit I picked up was looking at pictures of girls I fancied in real life to PMO with. I'd scroll through their facebook pictures, their Instagram feeds, sometimes even their blogs to find the most arousing pictures, often having multiple up at the same time.

This approach has caused me significant anxiety and guilt. Looking at pictures of these girls I sometimes had a desire to ask them on a date or similar, and would then usually PMO over their pictures and then the desire to meet them would be completely gone, so I'd often cancel the date. I've done that a fair few times since I started masturbating and it always brings me so much guilt.

This guilt is then doubled with the guilt I experienced by PMOing over their pictures, which I never really tell anyone about (my guy friends have alluded that they've done similar things but we've never spoken about it). In my mind, I imagine this as something others would find creepy, especially the people whose pictures I'm using. It makes me feel a bit like a creep.

So whilst I'm not addicted to 'traditional' porn, I would say my vice is looking through these pictures, which obviously come up a lot via browsing social media (which I'm now taking a break from, hopefully permanently).

The other issue and probably the bigger one than guilt are my masturbation practices. 'Death grip' masturbation is something I've always done and I believe it's the cause of my delayed ejaculation.

Worse than DE though is the fact that I don't even ENJOY sex. I've spent a lot of my teenage years and early 20s seeking out sex, but when I have it I never actually enjoy it, which is very paradoxical. I believe that the drive for sex was more to do with my own anxieties - essentially wanting to 'bag' another woman to make me feel better about myself.

I've also noticed that I have a far lower libido than a lot of other guys my age. Although I do seek out sex, I've noticed that it tends to be for these ego-boosting and anxiety-ridden reasons, rather than an actually strong sexual desire or attraction to the other person. I've slept with a lot of people I'm not really that into or that attracted to, and where I feel I didn't even want to do it but just did because I felt I should. I'm hoping to change these experiences with the reboot too.


REBOOTING PARAMETERS

- 90-day practice
- 'Medium Mode', which I've just coined - In-between standard and hard mode, i.e. masturbation at all, but I am allowing myself to have sex with real-life partners if and only if I want to start being in a relationship with them.

My reason for choosing 'medium mode' rather than 'hard mode' are:

- because I believe the opportunities for real life partnered sex opportunities are sparse enough not to affect the process;

- because it's the death-grip masturbation I'm trying to overcome really'; and

- because I want to leave the option open to have sex in the hope of creating a relationship with someone I really like - I'm getting greater control over my anxieties and partner-selection through other changes in my life, most poignantly the treatment of my Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD)).



I'm setting the clock from Friday, as I know I haven't PMOd since then (although really I think it was tuesday or something). So I'm currently on day 3.


Day 3!

Delay Olé!