20 year old male journal,Hardmode 6 month plan

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by locomia, Apr 13, 2019 at 12:40 PM.

  1. locomia

    locomia Fapstronaut

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    Last night I relapsed so today is day one again,this time im going to document my days,during 6 month I hope,to write it all here,I guess this might help to concentrate on my streak of 6 months purely clean.

    Why im doing this? because I fucked up my brain since the first fap I did in the first half of 2009 since then it was like this

    2009: (between april-may) I was 10 year old and I fapped for first time,then I did it several times,and stopped for the rest of the year,cause I was really depressed thinking if somebody found this out

    faps in 2009: like 20 or 30 faps

    2010: was a kinda clean year,with three or five faps in total in this year,but at the end of the year I become depressive as my friends werent at school the last days of school.I was having a bad time.

    faps in 2010: like 5 times

    2011: A new decade started for me,and my friends reapeared,but they didnt wanted to stay with me,they started to betray me,and I become a punching bag to the whole school.Everyday I got back home,to release the stress sufered there I fapped,causing more pain,less will to face homework,and to wake up in the cold morning to go to the place where I was constantly bullied,and had no fun...
    After that,I guess I used to watch porn a lot,I become a porn addict,tv addict,I was hedonist as fuck,and left school...and started a course,of course at this time I dindt recognized me.

    quantity of pmo in 2011: 300 times to 400

    2012: the same of 2011 bullying this tiem not in school but in courses,and I fapped the double than before,watched more heavy porn,and I was all day tired,in pain,with no will,clumsy,dork,with anxiety,depression,I couldnt even face nobody,all shy and submissive.While everybody was normal.I ended this year more fucked up than before,with 14 years old at the end of the year.

    Times of PMO in 2012: like 400 times

    2013: this year was another year full of shit,now I was in another course and in sports i started swimming,but I was fucked up,I had no personality,no will,and all the stuff of the previously year,0% will,being lazy all day,pretending to study,and failing in this new course.All failure in study,sports,social life,health,all a fail,a complete loser.Nasty porn sadomasochism etc.I was addicted.

    faps in 2013: 650 times PMO

    2014: This time I started a new course,and I was a bit successful this time,completing all tasks in kind of order, also I started to play more sthetich videogames,in steam,I spent a lot of time there,also wasting money in games,etc.This year was like a refugee from the other tree years...but still a hell...the porn at this time was really heavy,and also my addiction for videogames.I easily achieved nothing

    average of faps in 2014: 620 PMO


    2015: A year full of laziness,shit and mental problems,and at the beginning of the year I was fucked up with a lot of masturbation,in huge quantities,abuse of porn in huge quantities.dopamine,semen waste.

    average of faps in 2015: 700 PMO times

    2016: this time I was dork,like in the other years,but I completed some objetives,and I was stressed a lot.

    times I PMO in 2016: (since this point I started to feel more tired of fapping) but I did it from 500 to 600 times

    2017: this year,started very diferent,in positive ways,I discovered NOFAP ,and started to be more introspective,and make analisis about my life,and why I failed too much,writing down my traumatic experiences,and objetives from then on.

    Streaks this year was of : first streak was of 15 days clean
    then another 28 days clean
    then another of 14 days
    and so on some other streaks I didnt writed down

    2018:This year was tough,however I managed to reach streaks

    first streak of 22 day clean
    then the more long I got was 38 days clean!!
    then like 5 or 6 streaks of 14 days clean...

    2019: this year I tried so hard to stay clean,and relapses ocurred from time to time,always at night,and being half concious about it,I fall in a tunnel effect and I relapse...what Ive noticed is that now a relapse is a huge setback to me,it literally kills me,my will,my power,I cant do this anymore,Im 20 years old,and I dont want to live this decade with a habit that literally was the cause of all my disgrace,and failure in this life,and this decade of the 2010's,I want to live the 2020's ,and my 20s cold turkey ... I dont want to do a thing that represent such terrible stuff,disease,pain,depression,it nasty.And Im brainwashing my head to do not do it never again.NEVER.
     
  2. locomia

    locomia Fapstronaut

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    So if I take in count all times I masturbated since 2009 to this very time,in this decade from 2009-2019 I masturbated in average ,3550 times, the case that I can still write,is a miracle,because I literally killed myself in the last decade,with all these times I masturbated,I wasted time,health,will and power.And I wasted the possibility to live the best years in the life of a man,being a dork,a clumsy retarded,like a disabled person.And all this trew me back,from being a normal person,or even experiencing stuff to be ready to live in this age,so well.What only I can do is to live like I had to live my teen years,but now my 20s with the right mindset,the things that I know I dont have to do,and do whatever I can to STOP RELAPSING.
     
  3. locomia

    locomia Fapstronaut

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  4. locomia

    locomia Fapstronaut

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  5. locomia

    locomia Fapstronaut

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  6. locomia

    locomia Fapstronaut

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    • First 1-4 days: No more feelings of shame.
    • Day 5: You’re amazed at how much cleaner you are. No more wet wipes.
    • Day 7: Brain fog is a distant memory (sorry for the pun)
    • Day 14: Prolactin levels start to decrease. Your body is going to start activating your old androgen receptors.
    • Day 15-20: The NoFap flatline might kick-in.
    • Day 21: You have a lot more free time available. Boredom kicks in.
    • Day 25: The blue balls period is officially over.
    • Day 30: Craving and urges are starting to reduce.
    • Day 40: Girls are going to start noticing you more often. You’ll keep better eye contact.
    • Day 60: PIED (porn-induced erectile dysfunction) is going to become less of a problem. Complete elimination of the symptoms is going to take at least 90 days, with some heavy fappers needing 6-12 months. Stay strong.
    • Day 80: Social anxiety is going to be severely decreased. You’ll be able to have conversations with strangers, and you won’t find going out as tiring as before.
    • Day 90: Most internet users consider this milestone a complete reboot. This doesn’t mean you stop doing NoFap. The first 90 days are just a “cleanse.” By cleaning your mind and body, you’ve hopefully grown an appreciation for NoFap and would continue doing it for the rest of your life.
    • Day 100 – You’ll start eliminating other drugs, like alcohol. Carbonated mineral water is going to become your new friend.
    • Month 3: Your memory is going to be much better. You’ll want to exercise or even start weightlifting.
    • Month 4: Porn is going to look disgusting. In a deep, perverse way.
    • Month 6: If you had any weird fetishes, the cravings and symptoms are going to start to be going away. You’ll find enjoyment in more ordinary sexual situations.
    • Month 9-12: You’ll have rock-hard erections like never before in your life. Warn your girlfriend. Sex is going to feel amazing. You’ll always outlast your partner.
    • Year 2: You’ll never look back at your former life.
     
    ReachForTheSkies and B.S. like this.
  7. Imnatty7

    Imnatty7 Fapstronaut

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    just relapsed, starting today and gonna follow you !
     
  8. locomia

    locomia Fapstronaut

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    Glad to hear that you starting today to get rid of this addiction.

    If youre interested I could help you supporting here,online like an AP,feel free to mp.
     
    Imnatty7 likes this.
  9. misterrocket

    misterrocket Fapstronaut

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    Good luck. I hope I will be clean for 4 months, because porn would be disguisting at that time
     
    locomia likes this.
  10. locomia

    locomia Fapstronaut

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    Thanks,Im sure well do it,we have to stay strong
     
  11. locomia

    locomia Fapstronaut

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    DAY 3/240 COMPLETED

    AWAITING TO the night time...

    Bad stuff I did today

    -eating a bit junk sandwiches
    -drinking sugar (Seven Up soda)
    -watch tv and do a bit of zapping
    -binging in youtube a little bit,a mix of series,talent shows etc. (No sexual content at all,No arousal)
    -Driving a little stressful
     
    Imnatty7 likes this.
  12. locomia

    locomia Fapstronaut

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    My explosion point,when Im uncovered and unprotected against this VICE is at NIGHT TIME,and thats why I want to be the more self aware during this time...

    the 99% of relapses that ocurred me during nofap where at NIGHT TIME between hours 12 P.M to 00:02 A.M.

    Im in a weak state that if I got a erection,Im fucked up,and cant got out of bed easily,its a trap,and it detonates by touching my dick while im half sleep,and If my dick is erect that night Im 90% prone to relapse,thats why I dont want to touch my dick while Im half sleep.

    But the case is that sometimes I have itch aroud my body,and my hand start to travel all around,reaching my gonades and like a magic trick this arouse me,all this while being half sleep,and then I enter in a tunnel state of mind,in trance,which I cant get rid off because Im half sleep,Im not full awake so that Im not full aware to stop touching my genitals and I enter in this fucking game until I relapse,after I ejaculate,I got completely awake and start feeling like shit
     
  13. locomia

    locomia Fapstronaut

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    My tricks to not fall in this and cheat my brain to don't be impulsive or sexual is to be prepared at least 4 hours before going to sleep.

    -Not be so anxious nor depressed before sleep
    -stay away from screens
    -exercise a bit
    -read a bit
    -drink some water
    -tiring myself by walking around my bedroom
    -before going sleep 3 or 4 hours lie to my brain that fap is painful,an I can ejaculate blood if I engange with fap practices,or I watch some pics of sexual diseases or wounds,so I got scared to touch my dick as I associate pain,fear etc.
     
  14. Imnatty7

    Imnatty7 Fapstronaut

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    I always asked myself why are people saying this and now im starting to get it, you need to accept it, you know when you see a super hot girl in the street, you feel the fire inside you, I think to beat the addiction you need to feel the testosterone in you and control it, if you try to avoid any trigger its not gonna work and from experience you're gonna feel like in a flat line
     
  15. locomia

    locomia Fapstronaut

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    Well I like flatline,because you can travel far,and forget the vice,and the habit of masturbation.I kinda like it,flatline is underrated
     
  16. locomia

    locomia Fapstronaut

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  17. locomia

    locomia Fapstronaut

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    Success is in the actions we make day to day
     
  18. locomia

    locomia Fapstronaut

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    My Anti masturbation Ritual

    -shake and dance all over the bedroom
    -kneel on the floor at one side of my bed and memorize and remember all the pain I suffered from PMO,and suffering and wasted years.
    -cry
    -trying to relax and meditate
    -go to sleep
     
  19. locomia

    locomia Fapstronaut

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    Urges hit me just in a specific moment (12 pm to 2 am) and in a specific place (my bed) and also a specific state (when Im half sleep) so I figured it out,my brain should work out more to make me fall this streak.
     
  20. locomia

    locomia Fapstronaut

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    DAY 5/240 COMPLETED!!!

    I had stomache/insomia tonight also all feeled heat,but didnt become naked,so urges didnt came up and survived
     

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