It’s been about two weeks since I’ve stopped PMO. It was a huge problem. Of course, it started out small, like they all do, but it grew and grew until I was looking at very shameful stuff very frequently because the regular stuff wouldn’t work anymore. It was like a drug I was building a tolerance to. I’d do it more and more frequently, and everytime so much guilt would follow. I stopped because I felt like I owed it to myself and my parents too. It felt so terrible everytime after because it was against my morals and I knew how damaging it was, and I would always imagine how disappointed my parents would be if they found out. My parents do everything for me, my dad works all day and my mom takes care of my family and the house. They don’t know about my problem, but I owed it to them to stop. No chance of them ever finding me or walking in on me again, no way I could let them down, and if they ever come to know of my overcoming they would be proud I took initiative and was able to control my desires. There’s been many times in my reboot where I’ve had my phone in my hand and a relapse was just a click away, but I’d think of the promise I made to my self and of my parents. Being in a relationship also helped, because I knew if I stopped every feeling I felt with him would become more real and enjoyable. I felt an obligation to my boyfriend. Even though we aren’t intimate, I felt guilty getting such pleasure elsewhere. That feeling should be saved for us when we both ready. In this relationship I want to be clean. Being clean is especially hard in a relationship without sex, but with the help I this wonderful website I will try to pull through and learn the ultimate skill of controlling my urges and desires. So far, stopping has been wonderful. I can already see improvement. I feel a lot better as a person because my parents would be proud of me, controlling myself and making the decision to stop. It’s really nice to be without the guilt too. And like I said before, it’s like I’ve been sensitized to my some of my feelings again. I’ve fought hard for these two weeks and I don’t plan to stop fighting. Because it’s worth the struggle.