175 Days in my own words

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Youth, Nov 2, 2015.

  1. Youth

    Youth Fapstronaut

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    So I've made it to 175 days of no masturbation and no looking at any porn.
    I was hardmode at first, but have been dating a lady for a while, with sex about once a week.

    I want to put this in my own words. Other than what you normally hear, "so much more confident, ladies like me, stronger, more manly, etc etc."

    Let me start out by saying, this shit is hard. It's on a whole higher level of challenge next to anything else. It doesn't get easier. It might be easier for a month or maybe a few days you'll feel invincible, but always, some kind of urge will come back. You have to be stronger than yourself. You have to be outside of yourself. If you can look down at your life as just a puppet show in a great huge world, and find a higher purpose that serves something greater than your life, you might have the beginning of the right mindset. This "challenge" isn't just a challenge to be taken lightly. This is some serious lifestyle changing next level shit. And it will never come to you on a silver plate. You always have to earn it. Every day. Every minute. It can all come crashing down in a heartbeat.

    I feel so much more connected and conscious of everything that is actually going on. I can feel other people's thoughts now. It's as if I become immersed in their emotions and intentions the moment I focus on them, or talk to them. It's as if we are sharing a soul for a minute.

    I can see so much more bullshit in our world now. All around us, lies, deception, violence; all within a puppet show of different statuses, skin colors, and languages. As a society, we are so disconnected from each other. And yet, as humans, we are so connected to each other. We have to ability to be a part of other people's souls. I firmly believe that porn, masturbation, and a culture of casual sex numbs us to our true empathy. We were made to feel the painful emotions, not so we can mask them, but so we can fix them.

    On another note, I'm spending an incredible amount of time every day studying to better myself and gain new skills. Currently I'm studying photography on the side of my main job. Not at a college, which in my opinion is overpriced bullshit, but independently, through youtube, and through the wealth of articles and photos available on the internet. I always used to play hours of computer games, even when I started trying nofap a year ago, even earlier in this streak. I would waste time doing a whole bunch of jack shit for a rush of happiness. I actually find the same happiness now in learning.

    I feel like I have a purpose in life now, even if everything is more intense, and the world seems a darker place. I'm glad I can see the darkness, so that I can figure out a way to make it a brighter place.

    The healing from over 13 years of PMO doesn't happen fast. No, it will take what seems ages for thought patterns to surface, and they will. And you must face them alone. There is nobody there to prevent you from pulling that trigger, if you act on them. As I said, you have to be stronger than yourself. Day in and day out. My healing is coming along, physically and mentally. If I could gauge it on how I want to feel, I would say I'm 17 steps in, out of 500 steps to go.

    I can't think of much else to say that hasn't been said.
    Yes, sometimes women seem more attracted to me.
    Yes, I have more energy,
    And yes to just about all the main benefits everyone reports.
    If you're struggling with this, trying loving yourself more, and know that you are capable of being much stronger than you are led to believe.

    I'll keep fighting. Slow progress and baby steps will eventually add up.
     
  2. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

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    Thank you, your words spoke to me and I understand exactly what you mean. I do feel that we have to stand back observe and choose which things to get immersed in - ie. human contact and joy rather than artificial stimulation - we are not robots or slaves, we are human and that is great
     
  3. britaxe

    britaxe Fapstronaut

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    I think a big part of the lifestyle change is reducing social media usage too. Its an abyss like porn is.

    Its important to see past the bullshit in our societies and strive to play as small a part in it as we can. Instead help others to wake up from the shit they are bombarded with and keeping them dumbed down versions of who they truly are.
     
    cubs2516 likes this.
  4. BushidoWarrior

    BushidoWarrior Fapstronaut

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    That's great! Your success story was the thing I needed to read right now. I myself am nearly at my 90 day mark, but I'm starting to notice that the gratuitous fantasising of aeons past is creeping back into my awareness, and I am experiencing that restless feeling in my genitalia once more.

    These are the moment of true growth, the moments when we are tested. Are we serious or are we just playing games? It's up to us.

    Yes, it may feel like we are pushed in one direction or the other, but that feeling is a delusion. We have freedom of choice; we can opt for the rightfold path or the easy way out. For too long in my life I have been freely choosing the easy way out. It's time for me to embrace the discomfort and live my life according to my core values.
     
    PotentLife likes this.
  5. Cooldude4

    Cooldude4 Fapstronaut

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    great post and all the best
     
  6. cud

    cud Fapstronaut

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    I have to agree here! I have such strong empathy connection with people lately. The appreciate that very much - at least they say.
    I didnt get anything like that either. And I am pretty ok with that. I much more appreciate the connection with people.

    I have started to work on this lately. Just naturally. I am trying to connect with my own soul - cause it feels so urgent that I cant help myself. So i study, read, watch videos - it feels incredible sometimes to have this brief connection with your true self - i have been having strong intuition moments with people I love most.


    Great post man!!!
     
  7. IsThisANewLife

    IsThisANewLife Fapstronaut

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    Great post indeed!

    I'm curious, cud: what kind of videos have you been watching? And any good reads to share?
     
    Last edited: Feb 25, 2016
  8. cud

    cud Fapstronaut

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    I would recommend the book: Iron John by Robert Bly - that is where everything started for me. Before I read some of Napoleon HILL stuff - those kind of books are amazing but I felt I need something more, something.... I just had that feeling... i cannot explain that, sorry.

    In advance I have to say, I have been very pragmatic man with no religion thoughts at all. But these days I feel that something is showing us something... i dont know, difficult for me to explain. We call it differently... God, Universe, Divine power...

    Whole my life I strugled with emotions - i suppresed them! All of them. Lately, I have started to feel them and go through them and I see that little by little my whole state of being has change. Not rapidly, as i guess I am slow person in these things... but the change is noticable.

    Anyway, you can try to have a look on this:



    I told you I am not religious at all but I find very helpful... if you dont like it, i am completely ok with that :)
     
  9. BushidoWarrior

    BushidoWarrior Fapstronaut

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    Very moving and inspiring story. I'm glad you found yourself and achieved liberation from the shackles of PMO-addiction. Never stop learning; never stop growing. And always seize the day like it's the last thing you do!
     

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