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141 days porn free, 44 no PMO

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Deleted Account, May 23, 2018.

  1. Hello, Bartek. I am nearly 28 and i am from Poland. Beaufiful country by the way. Sorry for mistakes in my writing, which could occur in my present post. And probably in the followings :)
    I am here because i want to change my life. I have been visiting this forum for a long time. With some breaks off course. Some breaks because of porn. Now i am free from screen fucking since New Year, okay - almost New Year. It was hard, but it was necessary to become a good man. 44 day free from masturbation and orgasm. For me no masturbation=no orgasm cause i am still a virgin. I am very sad abaut it, because it means that i am very lonely during my adult life.
    Today is 44 day. I want to tell you that porn is bad, very bad, but for me masturbation is also very bad. Even if i have not been watching porn for almost 4 months, during my masturbation i had a lot of fantasies. As you probably now, dirty fantasies. My imagination is well developed, so it was not for me a problem to think about porn.

    Now i feel different. I am much calmer, i make better choices, i can look into people eyes, i can argue with my boss at work, tell what i really want to tell. Still awkward, but less than before. The biggest disadvantage is that i am sad. Terrible sad. I know that it is bacause of my loneliness, which is the result of watching porn :( I am terrible sorry for it and i hope, that in the nearest future i will be able to feel love again. To feel feelings :) again. I want to be with not sexy, but rather cute girl, with whom i will get three or four children. This is my dream, or rather my aim.

    To become a better man I work out, read books, take cold showers, improve my English, spend time near the nature, eat health, drink lot of water.

    In addition, what i really need right now is to meet some girl where i will fall in love. Unfortunately it could not come before i accept myself, my new being.

    I will be writing here, as much as i need. I think it could be a good custom for me and for people here. Thank you very much. And - like in the Eurovision Contest - greetings from Poland :)
     
  2. Hii brother.Really a great job.Keep it up.Never stop.:)
     
    neonid and Deleted Account like this.
  3. justgoingon

    justgoingon Fapstronaut

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    Kudos to you on your journey, you should start socializing with people to achieve your aim. And take out time for meditation, it has helped me a lot in keeping my temper calm.
     
    spaces and Badme like this.
  4. This was inspiring..thanks for posting
     
  5. Abdooooo

    Abdooooo New Fapstronaut

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    Hey ! Congratulation bro . I wish you all the best <3
     
    spaces and Deleted Account like this.
  6. Thank you very much for good words. 45 day.
    Today, at my work one of the girl gave me a smile, and what is not funny i couldn't give her smile back :( It was happened because I can not believe that some nice girl can give me a smile. This is not the first time. It has been a lot of similar situation. I have always thought, that i have something funny on my face or i have a pigeon's shit on my hair - what is impossible, because i work in a shop, covered by roof and walls ;)
    In my work i spend very much time with customers. I aways talk with them, i am not bad in conversation with them. But I only pretend that I am talkative. It is very demanding for me to talk with not well-known people. It is because of my social-anxiety, but i believe, that during my reboot i will become free. I will be liked by myself and the result will be no social-anxiety - i will not care what people think about me.
    And even if i will have a pigeon's shit on my head I will give a smile back :D (sory for a lot of shit in my statement)
    Still little awkward, couldn't focus at all, lot of thoughts about my past, present and better future. I can say that I am little depressed, but i tread it as a remedy. Day by day i will get on well with my brain, i hope :)
    As the advantages of my changing life i can point: better with sounds in the music, more pleasant during watching some films, even poor comedies. Better talk with my family and with my co-workers. And probably the most - from time to time i feel that i have a soul... ;)
     
  7. pomasz

    pomasz Fapstronaut

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    Czesc, tez jestem z polski i tez zmagam się z tym uzaleznieniem. Bylem juz na 30 dniu hard mode i kurde pobioslem porazke nawet nie wiem jak juz byly zmiany czulem róznice pomiedzy 7-17 dniem nofap - dziwne uczucie stresu w klatce piersiowej a 21-30 dniem nofap- uczucie pustki, mysli samobojcze, juz nawet planowalem jak to zrobie, nawet ryczalem z glową w poduszce bez powodu a to zdarzylo mi sie z dwa razy w zyciu, ale na szczescie to minie. Ale czulem tez pozytywne zmiany zwlaszcza w pierwszych dniach od resetu 3-10 dzien to jest jakby zapowiedz rezultatow i zawsze czuje sie swietnie, rozmawiam z innymi zartuje usmiecham sie, wyzsza pewnosc siebie itd. Zdradze ci pewna tajemnice jezeli chcesz, oczywiscie nofap to bardzo potezna technika bez wątpienia najpotezniejsza, ale jest jeszcze jedna bardzo potezna technika ktora umozliwia zwiekszenie inteligencji. Tak dokladnie iq, czytalem angielski post na internecie jak ludzie ją testowali i potwierdzali jej skutecznosć nazwa postu to „boosting iq nosense image streaming blah blah” nazwa techniki to strumien obrazów. Codziennie przez kilka miesiecy zamykasz oczy dostrzegasz obrazy i opisujesz je na glos, po czasie nastepuje zwiekszenie wyobrazni, mozg zaczyna wyrzucac coraz to wiecej genialnych pomyslow z glowy, kreatywnosc to kosmos, pamiec wzrokowa staje sie duzo lepsza zmierzajac powoli do pamieci fotograficznej. Wyzsza inteligencja umozliwia osiagniecie duzo lepszej pracy, a jeszcze dodajac do tego nofap, to az sie bym bal co sie stanie gdybym tylko mógl tej techniki uzyc, niestety nie mam wyobrazni . Polecam ci ta technike jesli wlasnie nasz wyobraznie, pomoze ci ona we wszystkim nie tylko np w rozmowie z dziewczynami - kiedy to wpadniesz na swietne pomysly jak ja poderwac, rozbawic, urządzic kolacje, czy wymyslic jakąś neobywałą historie w kilka sekund. Zastanawiam sie nawet czy nie jest to potezniejsze od nofap. Powodzenia z nofap i twoim przyszlym zyciem zycze ci jak najlepiej,
    Cześć.
     
  8. BrianSteel

    BrianSteel Fapstronaut

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    I struggle with loneliness as well, man! I know the feeling, but I think you you need to first accept it, learn to live with it, deal with it and then get rid of it!

    Very inspiring words. Keep it up and show the world who you really are!

    Love from Austria
     
    CELIBACY_GUY and spaces like this.
  9. drewharbour

    drewharbour Fapstronaut

    Lots of courage needed for your journey. I’m inspired by your efforts. The girl will come, just be patient and stay strong.
     
    New_born and spaces like this.
  10. Tak to jest jak coś odstawiasz. Powiem Ci, że ja chyba jakoś koło 27 dnia miałem noc, podczas której ryczałem jak małe dziecko, któremu ktoś zabrał upragnionego lizaka. Nie wiem jak u Ciebie z wiarą, ale ja podczas tej nocy przepraszałem Boga i prosiłem go żeby ponownie we mnie była miłość, której od wielu lat już nie czułem. Moim zdaniem, gdy nie ma miłości w życiu, to nie ma nic - czysta egzystencja.
    Co do Twojej rady, może spróbuję ją wykorzystać, ale w przyszłości. Na tę chwilę chcę się skupić na odstawieniu w pełni złych przyzwyczajeń. Pozdrawiam z kujawsko-pomorskiego :D ;)
     
  11. Stay strong man. Loneliness is fucked up. How to deal with loneliness. Have you got some suggestions or advices. The best will be probably to face with it and to socialise. I try and try, but this is still little difficult with my anxiety. But day by day it is getting better. So conslusion is - we must stay optimistic
    Merci ami ;)
    Thank you for good words ;) We are in the same stage of recovery. At least the same day. Once in the past i was at the biggest streak than ever. Probably it was approximately 60 days. It was when I go to university in 2010 :/ In this time i was admired by lots of women. They asked me why I do not have a girlfriend and they thought that I am a gay. I failed couple days later and I fell into depression. From this time i have always felt terrible anxious as if I may die. I have started to take SSRI. Now it is better. I do not take it any more and I am still fighting to get rid of my poor beeing. I wish to become a real Bartek just like few years ago :)
     
  12. BadWacko

    BadWacko Fapstronaut

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    I see a part of myself in you! I wish you good luck. I'm sure you will get a girl ;) In the meantime continue the journey and post here! Bye from Croatia ;)
     
    spaces likes this.
  13. Today i had a wet dream. I was dreaming about my first girlfriend. We just only walked through the park. Not much, but it was enough. Today I had very good time at my work. Generally, probably this is a good day.
     
    Mohammadmalekpoor and spaces like this.
  14. 50th day
    My libido has come back and the result of it is that I couldn't sleep well for two nights. I wake up maybe three times every night. Generally is ok. I take cold shower and it helps me a lot. I bought a gift for myself:
    http://allegro.pl/porecz-uchwyt-do-pompek-dipow-cwiczen-tytansport-i6838671679.html
    I think, the next step to improve my life is to get a better job. The present is killing me every day, because i can not show what I can really do. Also I really want to get some relation with nice girl. However I think, that at first i gave to change my job, because it is undemanding and i can not make my skills better.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 29, 2018
  15. 55th day. I am still here. Now I am in flatline. What was said in the other posts - reboot is not linear
     
    spaces likes this.
  16. 59th day. It is really hard at this time. Still flat, dizziness, problems with focus and with maintain eyes contact. I am looking forward for the better. The pros is that I stop to fantasize about sex. The cons is that although I am tall, fit and sometimes handsome :) I couldn't even imagine me as a boyfriend or a husband. This is probably because I do not like myself. This is inappropriate to look for somebody if you do not have self esteem - just like me. I have to improve that part of my being, but i don't know exactly, how to handle it. Cheers fellas
     
    Mohammadmalekpoor and spaces like this.
  17. In addition. I think that to change myself, first of all i have to feel like shit. It will be the ignition for the better time. I write it, cause I wanted to remind myself and you that when you lose your bad habits, feeling like shit is appropriate at some period during your changing customs.
     
    jdw2018 and FX-05 like this.
  18. treborn

    treborn Fapstronaut

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    23 year old virgin here,i know that feeling,do you study seduction for curiosity?
     
  19. Nope. I just want to be myself. Rams walk in a herd and eagles fly alone. I would rather want to be the eagle. If I am a good man, why should I study seduction? I wish you good day treborn ;)
     
    Deleted Account likes this.

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