120 day (PLUS?) HARDMODE CHALLENGE & Foxislander Journal

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by Foxislander, Apr 24, 2018.

Could you do pmo with spouse in house for 120 days

  1. Yes

    60.0%
  2. No

    26.7%
  3. Only for major reward

    13.3%
  4. I would rather go blind

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  1. Foxislander

    Foxislander Fapstronaut

    Day 1 through 19 where a white knuckling ride of Horror because I used to think I didn't have a problem and then I realized I'm out of control. I can no longer allow this puppet dick to tell me what to do and how I can get pleasure in my life just to start let us begin.

    Day 20 Here's my 120-day challenge & journal hope it helps you experience 30 60 90 120
     
    Last edited: Jun 9, 2018
  2. Foxislander

    Foxislander Fapstronaut

    Last edited: Jun 9, 2018
  3. Foxislander

    Foxislander Fapstronaut

    April 11,2018 Day 22 was easier was it the extra cardio or not filling my brain with dumb visions of pmo.

    April 12,2018 Going into day 23 it sucks today mentally and phyisicaly, for me 45 years of sexual action not eliminated in 23 days sometimes I hate sometimes I love. this is the day normally ending with intercourse for 32 years PAIN PAIN PAIN.....Emotionally limp....

    April 13,2018 Day 24 today after objectifying my beautiful wife of 33 years feeling very guilty like I deserve this pain I am in, we love each other and she is doing this along my side. Our anniversary was 12 April 1985,she was 18 I was 23. Very inexperienced yet hell of of a lot of fun, my wife is blonde German hourglass figure.with awesome full back tattoo. I dream of her all the time. Feeling great about this reboot reset and defogger of my dopamine drenched brain. Our ultimate goal is real intimacy. Any tips on slips relapses?
    I have been diagnosed as a sex addict (I think just trauma brought it on) and need some great advice any and all would be really awesome.

    Apr 13, 2018
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    Last edited: Apr 24, 2018
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  4. Foxislander

    Foxislander Fapstronaut

    1. Day 25 midnight, wanted to sneak into bed naked, woke up last night had a boner half mast, got up because laying there is a no go realized I had the largest wet dream ever. Back to bed. Started sleep 10pm that was 1 am 2 per 3 thinking about fantasizing finally back to bed.

      Apr 15, 2018
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    Last edited: Apr 24, 2018
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  5. Foxislander

    Foxislander Fapstronaut


    Day 26 got into argument over something stupid urge urge urge massively hard but pressing on, slept in another room got too grabby touchy feely one of my boundaries, the pshyisical urges very difficult.

    Last edited: A moment ago
    Apr 16, 2018
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    Last edited: Apr 24, 2018
  6. Foxislander

    Foxislander Fapstronaut

    Day 27 ,Thanks doing 30 minutes of treadmill daily, 10-15 weight training, different muscle groups 3 times a week . 10000 or more steps daily. Meditation 2 times daily, starting to do yoga 2 times a week. Lost close to 13 pounds already !! Thenew me has arrived!!

    April 17, 2018 Wednesday at 5:09 AM
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    Last edited: Apr 24, 2018
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  7. Foxislander

    Foxislander Fapstronaut

  8. Foxislander

    Foxislander Fapstronaut

    Day 29
    1. Day 29 not doing so well very depressed try to reach over and do things with my wife last night that I shouldn't have trying to hold her arm when I'm only allowed to hold her hand and I'm sleeping in another bedroom for two nights or longer. I've got to have I'm having bad withdrawals still I'm hoping that this is supposed to be getting easier I'm wondering when it's going to be consistently easier. I hope for some time that the warnings will get easier but from about 3 on today not good. I can appreciate the extra energy and the not needed sleep supposedly during this process. I'm trying to hurry the process and I know that I can't I know I need to look at what's just in front of me not at what's on the horizon.

      Set up your own here.
      Foxislander, Apr 19, 2018 Edit Delete Report
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  9. Foxislander

    Foxislander Fapstronaut

  10. Foxislander

    Foxislander Fapstronaut

    1. April 21, 2018 The big 31 no way I want to start over again.....this is happening the wife and I might sign a new abstinence for 120 back dated to 22 March so really a new 90 day days from today to show my resolve on this process. Due to the fact we have a 30 day review of improvement and really honestly it does not count for my withdrawal period was horrifying long and I broke many boundaries and was pretty nasty at times. It's a surprise that's hanging on a cabinet let's see who signs it first her? Or Me? Please vote..........remember we have abstinence contract this is new, improved. She has 20 hardcore boundaries , I have 3 red yellow green improvement boundaries.
      Please vote..............thanks

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      Foxislander, Saturday at 5:51 AM Edit Delete Report
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  11. Foxislander

    Foxislander Fapstronaut

    1. April 22 2018, Day 32 here we go day 33 for some reason I'm feeling really depressed today looking in family photos of when me and my wife of different times might have been trigger I don't know just trying to figure out when I became such a self-centered asshole and when my wife realize that we have a problem and we didn't fix it then but it continued and we were sidetracked because of what was going on with our son he was in trouble and that is where our Focus was that it was not on us now we are on us

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      Foxislander, Yesterday at 7:31 AM Edit Delete Report
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  12. Foxislander

    Foxislander Fapstronaut

    Day 33 went to lunch with a friend had a great time I just close to him that me and the wife are doing abstinence to get into missing and he's the first friend that said that is really awesome that's cool more people need to do this more often to get closer not to get further apart you got to give up something to get something bigger than Who You Are
     
  13. Foxislander

    Foxislander Fapstronaut

    I had to copy and paste a lot of my things for my own personal Journal all the way to 120 so sorry if there is some information that might slip slightly seem askew but it's still as accurate I just copied and pasted that's why the dates are there and it says all day 33 cuz I got all caught up on it today I'll keep up on it every single day now it'll make it easier for me I'm still going to stay a part of the other challenges I've already passed the 30 the next one's the 45 to 60 the 75 the 90 115 and and then the hundred twenty peace be with you for the day Bros
     
  14. Foxislander

    Foxislander Fapstronaut

    So I asked my wife to put her panties away because I love her smell to still keep them until it's time for laundry and she left them out after she left I got to be honest about this whole thing and that's what this is all about smelt them and the smell gave me an instant hard-on now now I must ice and then take a cold shower and then I have to report to her I wonder if I'm going to be sleeping in another room all alone or the rest of the week all alone cuz this is the second time I've done this or does she have some responsibility here??
     
  15. Foxislander

    Foxislander Fapstronaut

    I get to sleep in another room for 2 nights, maybe longer. Sucks for me
    I deserve it, day 34 in 2 hours
     
    Last edited: Apr 25, 2018
  16. bobby_100

    bobby_100 Fapstronaut

    840
    347
    63
    good u lucky man
     
  17. Fleshandblood

    Fleshandblood Fapstronaut

    32
    51
    18
    Somebody I was speaking to yesterday who was struggling with compulsions and anxiety said to me "Its like living in two countries, I am either in California on a sunny beach, perfect day relaxed and all my needs met.....no worries. Or I live in North Korea under a dictator. What makes it worse is which ever country I am in I worry about being in the other one"
    For me I am looking at the next twenty four hours with choice to visit a new country called "choice". It feels as though today for the first time I may have a choice where to live. Not on a beach of selfish indulgence or under a dictator of fear.
    No promises but I have some hope today that I may not do PMO in these next twenty four hours.
    I will let you know.
    Simplest definition of addiction I know is "An appetite that is out of control". The one one sex addiction is sex. If it was you would be satisfied so recovery is about seeing what you are actually hungry for.
    Thank you.
     
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  18. Foxislander

    Foxislander Fapstronaut

    That was absolutely boss booyah I'm waking up because I'm not in my own bed I decided to go ahead and read this and I want to thank you guys for your wisdom again for your thoughtfulness and I appreciate everything you guys are saying I am a lucky man and I'm happy that my wife is standing up for herself and it's her boundaries and I'm crossing and I shouldn't be and she knows it too now I'm going to try to go ahead and get a couple more hours of sleep and see what happens thank you guys preciate every little bit helps God bless
     
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  19. Foxislander

    Foxislander Fapstronaut

    Here ye here ye!! Very well said
     
  20. Foxislander

    Foxislander Fapstronaut

    Day 34 today is here and Now I have a boner I have a choice and now the boner is going away it's Mind Over Matter because 1% of your body should not control 99% of your decisions and medically speaking your penis only has 1% of your body boner over and out Booyah back to bed
     
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