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11 days in...

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by TricoBren, Apr 10, 2014.

  1. Apr 10, 2014 #1
    TricoBren

    TricoBren Fapstronaut

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    Ok so I'm 11 days in now and I have to say that I'm not feeling particularly great...

    I read a lot of accounts of "becoming more attractive" to the opposite sex but I have so far not seen a single hint of anybody being interested in me. If anything, I'm finding it really hard to not stare at beautiful girls on trains etc.

    It seems that even the most blatant non-event type of scenario makes my heart beat fast and makes me wish that something naughty would happen. However, all I'm experiencing is one way enthusiasm. Nobody is checking me out nor is anybody making me feel any better about myself. In fact, not fapping is beginning to make me feel very lonely indeed. I feel very unwanted at the moment and could really use a confidence boost from a girl.

    In truth, I'm married. I started to embark on this crusade because I wanted to reboot my brain so that I could find my wife more attractive. Though I'm not watching porn on this current streak, the occasion where I do find myself getting a boner, it's not very stiff. Just kinda semi-erect. I was also hoping that I could recapture my glorious teen days when I could get a rock hard boner but i'm still a loooong way off getting one of those.
    I love my wife but due to various reasons, we aren't making love anymore. Not fapping in some ways is a bit like torturing myself. Is anybody else in my position?

    I'm glad that I've been able to improve my willpower a little over these past couple of weeks but apart from that, I feel pretty lousy and haven't seen much of these much vaunted magical changes everyone talks about... :(
     
    TricoBren, Apr 10, 2014
    TricoBren, Apr 10, 2014
    #1
  2. Apr 10, 2014 #2
    zadvanceppa

    zadvanceppa Fapstronaut

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    I'm in a marriage where sex is absent too. We just kinda became friends and parents to our great children who we both dedicate ourselves to. I blame much of my lost interest to PMO. Easy to find beautiful women to fulfill my fantasies. It has changes me in so many negative ways though. That is why I now eagerly choose this forum. I went about 3 months and I tell you now: no PMO changes lots of things. Keep reading in here like I do.
     
    zadvanceppa, Apr 10, 2014
    zadvanceppa, Apr 10, 2014
    #2
  3. Apr 10, 2014 #3
    TricoBren

    TricoBren Fapstronaut

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    Doesn't it make you feel lonely though? I just feel really unattractive right now when I thought I was supposed to feel the opposite...

    Thank you so much for the reply - It means a lot.
     
    TricoBren, Apr 10, 2014
    TricoBren, Apr 10, 2014
    #3
  4. Apr 10, 2014 #4
    Madrileño

    Madrileño Fapstronaut

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    I think it can be natural for sex to be less urgent and important as a marriage progresses however I have absolutely no doubt that PMO makes that process a lot worse. In our late 40s and early 50s I found sex was becoming more and more infrequent - and guess what - this was the time PMO was getting more of a grip on me. I think we went 5 or 6 months on one occasion... And this included times when my wife made the approach and I put her off. During these years I just assumed that this was natural ageing however I now know differently. Since quiting PMO about three months ago now we have been intimate a lot more regularly and I find I am more easily aroused and don't take so long. And I don't have to replay scenes in my head so that I may be physically present but mentally elsewhere - which I think is neither healthy nor honest.

    So I'd say stick with it. Physiologies differ and we all experience things differently however these seems to be lots of evidence that nofap and no PMO makes a big positive different given enough time.

    Hope that helps.
     
    Madrileño, Apr 10, 2014
    Madrileño, Apr 10, 2014
    #4
  5. Apr 10, 2014 #5
    Lo_Ammi

    Lo_Ammi Fapstronaut

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    Are you Christian?
     
    Lo_Ammi, Apr 10, 2014
    Lo_Ammi, Apr 10, 2014
    #5
  6. Apr 10, 2014 #6
    Sufficient Grace

    Sufficient Grace Fapstronaut

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    TBH Trico, I think a lot of the talk about NoFap benefits and superpowers is bullshit. The real reason we do this is because PMO makes you feel like shit. It wastes time and energy and sitting in front of a computer wanking is weak and pathetic.
    Any further benefits are great, but don't focus on them.
     
    Sufficient Grace, Apr 10, 2014
    Sufficient Grace, Apr 10, 2014
    #6
  7. Apr 10, 2014 #7
    bizzlelop

    bizzlelop Fapstronaut

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    it will take time, trust me, 11 days in nothing in compassion to how long you have been wanking, imagine what would happen after a year, you need to experiment just as much on the other side if you know what I mean/
     
    bizzlelop, Apr 10, 2014
    bizzlelop, Apr 10, 2014
    #7
  8. Apr 10, 2014 #8
    stygian

    stygian Fapstronaut

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    It takes a LOT longer than 11 days for you to see any benefits.
     
    stygian, Apr 10, 2014
    stygian, Apr 10, 2014
    #8
  9. Apr 10, 2014 #9
    russel9900

    russel9900 Fapstronaut

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    I'm 9 days in. I'm also married. This is tough. But I don't have as much guilt as I usually do. Hang in there man. I hear it's worth it to hang in there. Don't rationalize.
     
    russel9900, Apr 10, 2014
    russel9900, Apr 10, 2014
    #9
  10. Apr 10, 2014 #10
    TricoBren

    TricoBren Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the reply. I'm heartened to hear that you have managed to turn the clock back a little on your sex life. I shall heed your advice.

    No, I'm buddhist.

    I'm beginning to think you're right. I just wished there was some kind of immediate benefit that was easily recognizable that would help motivate me through the beginning stages and keep me from feeling so low. Thanks for the honest advice, it's much appreciated.

    I figured I'd might have been impatient/unrealistic with what the benefits actually are. I intend to go as far as I can. Mainly because I do feel that porn has ruined my sex life not to mention that I can't seem to get a convincing boner any more...

    I understand. I shall be patient!

    OK, glad to hear you're in the same boat as me! Let's stick it out a little longer and see where it takes us!
     
    TricoBren, Apr 10, 2014
    TricoBren, Apr 10, 2014
    #10

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