【Confess my absurd past】 Absolutely true ! Don’t believe it ? Come in !

I deeply regret!

A small number of fapstronaunts may know me, while others may not.

It's okay, I'll introduce myself again.

I used to be a gorgeous basketball player with a height close to 190cm and a weight around 80kg and, most importantly, with a certificate of National 2nd-class Basketball Player

Ah.I was really handsome with dignity in my everyday life, as one of the righteous. I want to emphasize that I’m not sounding off!

Originally, I could have entered a well-known university and had four years of wonderful college life, but the reality is that I have chosen another way, ruining my fortune and falling into pieces! And in the treatment of the illness I found for myself, it has cost my family over 50,000 yuan!

Although I don't want to narrate how hardy and caprylic my past life is, and also don't want to memorize my past bitterness, I will slowly write my tragic past to let you know that you can get rid of the seconds of pleasure of nothing, to pursue the dream and to alert the People still trapped in the abyss.

I felt so down that I decided to leave, anyway. And who would ever know that I should become more and more far away from my dream!

In the summer of 2013, I quit the basketball team because of the fierce competition.You know, POMimg just a few times turned my position from the leader to the bench.

Initially, I kept PMOing only at times.Yet later the desire grew surprisingly out-of-control within even a week.

At that time I was 17. I'd got a wicked feeling that I need to go whoring because masturbation was not able to satisfy me any more. I thought that I'd switched onto another way beside PMO, but now I see that it put me in the same danger as PMO did.

By the way, it was after breaking up with my girlfriend that I started to PMO. Definitely I opened up the Pandora's box.

I began to search for information about whores like crazy. Thanks to my homeez I used to hang out and to share the same irascibility with, I was told where the hookers were.

So I got there, really nervous.That ho looked just so-so then. But when it all come down, I contemplated her, picturing how many guys had banged her. I was completely sick to my stomach. Finally I coudn't stand this aversion and threw up.

“Disgusted? Beat it! What do you want from me? Ya in the street, and you should care about this?” She said, looking at me with scorn.

I was ill-tempered, just as I mentioned above. And with the stature tall enough to dunk, My attitude was absolutely arrogant. So I replied defiantly,“fuck! How come you bitch talk so much shit!”

After that, the hooker produced a mobile phone right away. Just one call, here come in 3 thugs or 4. At that moment, I guessed I knew the “rules”. Confronted with these bullies alone, especially one of them armed with a rod, I greeted immediately with a flattering smile. How childish I was!

The boss among them come up to me, without a word fetching a terrific slap in my face. I was totally outraged then and I wanna give it back.“Cash off! Or you may call cops if you like,” noted two men behind him, showing me the knives in their hands.

I knew that any joyhouse was somehow backed up by some ones.

For the sake of my life, I chickened out like a pussy at once. They took away from me 600 bucks which was all I had with myself and before their leaving, I received another backhand slap as a reward.

To be continued!

 

ｏｈ，Ｉ＇ｍ　ｖｅｒｙ　ｓｏｒｒｙ　ｂｕｔ　ｔｈｅ　ａｒｔｉｃｌｅ　ｉｓ　ｔｏｏ　ｌｏｎｇ，Ｉｗｉｌｌ　ｔｒｙ　ｔｏ　ｇａｔｈｅｒ　ｉｔ　ｔｏｇｅｔｈｅｒ．

 

When I walked out of the room,the boss outside went like,"if you come here looking for some hoes,you'll be welcome.And if you come here looking for trouble,you'll be shot."

After I got through the club gate,I said to myself that I would never go near this place again.

Upon my return to home,seeing the slap mark on my black and blue face,my father was really angry.

I said that it was made incautiously when I played with my friends.Then my mother asked me to buy some food for dinner,and how could I do this without money?

So my father inquired me why not go,and I stuttered that I'd lent my cash to my classmate.Obviously he didn't believe me.In a fury he kicked me over and took out my wallet.Immediately he realized that something had happened to me.And my mother then began to urge me to tell him the truth.Yet how dare I told them that I'd visited prostitutes,'cause I knew my father would beat me to death.

What I could do was to lie that I'd run into several hoods and got struck with my money taken away.

Since my father was the security consultant of our local companies,he definitely couldn't be fooled easily.Instead,he went on questioning me when and where that had occurred.And I wasn't able to come up with one word.Later I was left standing alone by my parents,which is actually a moment of appalling silence that I could not stand.

"Beside the dry cleaner,on Xx Street,"I surrendered.At that moment,my father was decided to head towards the police station for the surveillance video with me.

I knew I was done.I hastened my father giving up his idea but lost my words when he added,"is that so?"

Finally,as he kept querying,I could't help but crying with the remarks that I met some beautiful girls when strolling outside with my friends,and that my money ran out in the movie and BBQ we shared together,and then we got engaged in a gang fight for some reason,out of which I was badly hurt.

My father changed his mind on confirming the spot,only from the police station to that BBQ restaurant.Thankfully,the noise we made drew the attention of my uncle next door who then came in and calmed him down.Since then,my pocket money also came down a lot.

One month later,both of my parents were away on official business.Once on shore,I prayed no more,hanging out every night with two of my friends.Reserving hotel rooms for sex,taking taxis and splurging on dining out cut down the money my mother had left me from 1,000 to less than 300 yuan which I put aside to pretend as always to be a good boy.

I still remember that in the last ten days or so I had to pinch and screw,though I was a sportsman with a stomach big enough to duplicate the serving and also the expense in the cateen.

When it came to the day right before my parents returned,I starved myself for a whole day 'cause I got no pennies or dimes at all.I really deserved that!

 

Before long my father transfered me to another school for a trial the basketball team there offered me.

If I performed well,the coach would take into account granting me the admission to resume my high school education.I thought it was just a piece of cake,really!'Cause as a sophomore,I had finished fourth in the provincial competition among over 100 senior highs.

However,I totally forgot that due to my last two affairs I had emptied out all of my cream and energy.

I was sure that I would give it a dunk shot.But I was not the man I'd used to be prior to over two months when under training I hadn't have even an idea about whores.

The test began with shooting balls.Soon I felt that my spirit was willing while my flesh was weak.After a quick adjustment,I somehow made it.

Next was the dribble.I had once achieved a grade on this as excellent as,if not better than,the seniors'.

But when I turned around near the kick-off circle,I just felt like my body lost its own sophistication and agility.I almost missed my ball!

A few players beyond the court started to laugh at the spectacle I made.As been hung over by the shadow created by PMO and drabbing for months，I right away responded with an irritated face.

Finally I ended up only with exhaustion,which from the very beginning I'd never figured.

Noticing the fact that all the coaches there weren't that impressed,my father instantly went forward to butter them up.

Waiting outside the door of the office where I witnessed my father greasing the palm of them humbly,I felt terribly sorry for him.

 

About the first semester in twelfth grade,there came a major match.

Though as a starter in the first quarter,I made three turnovers within 4 minutes and finished with total four points.How could I cut a pretty figure in this large scale of competition with lots of coaches of CUBA(Chinese University Basketball Association)coming to watch?What an absurd fantasy it is that they would extend an olive branch to me as I had been so stuck in PMO!

Since the game was over,my coach had a long private chat with me:it was difficult for me to enroll in a good university without money!Furthermore,he put it frankly that it was hard for me to enter even the major of Universal PE,for I was much more out of condition than before,which meant that I was absolutely hopeless!

As a result of PMO,I didn't wanna communicate with anyone.So privately I dropped out of the team before disscussing with my family.

 

I remember the day I quit was 18th,Dec.Then I was in a bad mood.Again my parents left me alone for studying outside.I found that there was nobody I could talk to except my father who ordinarily conversed with me yet sometimes scolded or beat me.In the second day since I had quit,one of my friends(break with now, he’s been sentenced for chopping people)called at my home to drink out with me.Out of trial and out of care,we drunk till all’s blue,grabbed some harlots and got laid until next noon.
Because I was a P.E. student,poor academically,my class teacher didn't care if I skip.Perhaps he wanted but couldn’t.I’m really sorry for him!So we woke up at noon,checked out the room and went on the loose or played the computer games in the Internet bar all the day.
Indulged in dissipation,we were really punks！
My money used up quickly,since my parents hadn't leave me much.I had to borrow some from my friends.The one who is mentioned above stole money in train stations to share with me.But I didn’t know it at that time.
For I had played truant for half a month,my class teacher informed my parents.They came back and swatted me hard.
Therefore I returned to school for study,though unwilling.However,I had fallen behind too far!My classmates were able to grasp 5 key points within 10 minutes,not was I.As oversexed,I became unintelligent.
Finally, I gave up entirely, just like a walking dead.
Afterwards a beautiful girl once in the same high school with me transferred to the neighbor class. So I tried to chase her.
But a long-time prostitutes-patronizing made me a coward. I hesitated in speech,and sometimes even dared not to ask for her opinions when I dinnered out with her,although I always ran wild with streetwalkers unnamed.Obsession with sex blinded my affection,plucked down my courage and eliminated my sense of responsibility!It's true！
The result was,as you can imagine, I failed.
I felt frustrated.At night I lied to my parents that I wouldn’t go home because of my classmate’s birthday. My mother wondered on the phone if I had enough money,and if I felt bad.She just wanna show care for me!
But I went with a fucking reply,"enough!"
My friends and I begun to consume alcohol again. After drunk we arrived at her class going nuts.Afterwards I received a smack from my father and was strictly prohibited to go out.

One night I got up to pee. Suddenly I heard my father sighing in his room. He just didn't know what's wrong with this year. So did my mother.
For a long time later,I behaved well. I totally dropped out of school,'cause my father knew what I was all about.During this period I entered my father’s company to assist him.Noticing that many guys only years older than me were filled with energy and power as they're talking,I was absolutely envious of them.
Until the Spring Festival, I recovered somewhat and looked better.The relationship between my parents and I was in remission.It's really amazing then that my father even took me to the girl’s home to make an apology.

Since in celebration,elders among my relatives gave me a lot of cash.And in delight,my father released me on the fifth day of the New Year.
I fooled around with my buddies,having parties in the bar every day.Once I was so high on singing that I hugged some young girl in the room,while her boyfriend got offended and even wanted to beat me.
But on the scene were almost all my men.Threatened and coerced,he could do nothing but went away with his puss.
Suddenly I felt excited as relaxing away from all my stress.
But now I just feel shame on myself!

 

When it came approximately to April, once my classmates and I was playing basketball in a park,while a few girls passed by.With an urge to show off my talent,I made eyes at one of them,who was a student in the attached middle school of our local normal training college.

I kept in touch with that girl for a week and then we went out and found a hotel to make love without the condom.Several days later,some red spots emerged on my pennis!I went to the hospital with a great scare.But the doctor told me that it was nothing serious and just need a little medicine.Hearing that with a fluke mind I relaxed and continued to yield myself up.

Because of my lustful thoughts, I didn’t want to look for a girlfriend at all 'cause I have no idea about shouldering the responsibility.How terrible it was!As a man,I could only play with a girl just within 3 days. I was a devil!

In May,the college entrance examination was coming yet I was still going literally nowhere.The girl that met me in the park called me,saying that she was found pregnant in the physical examination and asking me to see her.And I did,questioning how much she wanted,but she kept silence. Finally I had to borrow some money from my friends to have an induced abortion for her. The doctor warned us that her womb had been hurt and needed to be taken good care of,otherwise she might become infertile.Without taking it I left her soon after paid fees downstairs.

As lacking money,I even borrowed some from the gang.For I couldn't repay the cash in time,they nearly planned to stir up trouble at my home.Now I know it’s the payback I deserve from my dirty deeds!

On the eighth day,I slipped out of home.

At the age of nineteen or so,I was really the youth gone wild,running towards the brothel with the hard-earned dough from elders.

Not only did I spend hundreds of bucks but also wear myself out.While my parents had drunk a lot at the festival night,I climbed into my room through the window,making it seem as if I'd gone nowhere but to the dreamland.

As received a great deal of money in New Year days,I went whoring almost every day,which ran out of more than 3,000 yuan!

It's from then on that the lingering illness began to afflict me.

On the openning day of spring semester,I went to register and then rushed to play basketball on the ground,since I had no classes until tomorrow.

But who knew that I finished it with breaking out into a cold sweat,and that I could hardly fall asleep at that night.

The next day after I was given new textbooks in class,suddenly my right temple ached terribly and it should last for around 2 hrs!Noticing that the class teacher asked me to stretch my legs in the playground,where I broke out into a cold sweat once again within only two steps.

Later every morning I would have a headache just like it had waited for me there.So I went to see a doctor and was profoundly told to be abstinent.I kind of recognized what it meant to me.

One day my friend,a gang member by phone invited me to a newly opened massage centre.Upon touching the girls there,I left the doctor's advice all behind me.Owing to the lesson my first hoe had given me,I ended up with my feelings suppressed until I threw up in the washroom.

Yet since then,every 3 or 4 days I would visit that place with my friend，having fun all night long.

 

Thanks!

 

I do believe, confuss my past!

 

Thanks! let's do it together.