Comments on Profile Post by DBug

  1. DBug
    DBug
    10 days I fapped at least once a day for hours with all kinds of "material". I completely gave up. After that I cut down to once every 3-4 days. Today I reset again.

    I don't know how I managed to do so well in my job interviews - I start in October at a major company - awesome!
    Sep 2, 2017
  2. DBug
    DBug
    My energy though was at a long time low. Concentration completely gone, same as control. I skipped a party and a concert I had already bought a ticket for because I was feeling like shit.
    Sep 2, 2017
  3. DBug
    DBug
    Yesterday on day 3 I was at another home party again. It was nice! On day 3 the world was already a lot brighter than during my relapse. Made out with a girl - will see her again :) I dared to view it as an upward trend. Then today I reset with no resistance.
    Sep 2, 2017
    Rising Sun !! likes this.
  4. DBug
    DBug
    OK I was hungover but that's a lazy excuse. One moment I was thinking of the girl from the evening before (in all the good ways (I think I do like her) - not the pornways), the next I got triggered on facebook by a random porn meme. It would've been so easy to just walk away but I didn't want to.
    Sep 2, 2017
  5. DBug
    DBug
    I wanted my "pleasure" and I wanted it now and a minute later I had so many tabs open on my mobile that it almost crashed - which didn't stop me. I once again turned to the complete antithesis of where I want to go. No connecting with another person or even just yourself - no - just stupid fapping and an orgasm that felt pretty much the same way styrofoam tastes.
    Sep 2, 2017
  6. DBug
    DBug
    And regarding my "boner reward" method... it's BS (See #1nicelog) ! Complete and utter BS. First of all I can't keep it to the 10 gentle strokes and even without an orgasm it gets me into that "post reset" state where energy is below 0 same as mood, concentration etc. Apparently it kills/prevents your progress. At least in these early stages of a reboot.
    Sep 2, 2017
  7. DBug
    DBug
    So once more I'm struggling to stay strong and keep fighting. Giving up/in is so much easier... too damn f***ing easy. We aren't made to live in a world where instant gratification is a) existing and b) sooo easy to come by. Fuck this shit. I don't want to waste my life and my energy on 2D bimbos! I want to have a real connection to a partner again!
    Sep 2, 2017
    Rising Sun !! likes this.
  8. DBug
    DBug
    And sex, sure, but tbh that's secondary now. My last relationship was 2013. That's 4 years with little to no touching and kissing and absolutely no intimate feelings or love! I cannot go on like this! I need to be able to love again but I can't allow myself to do that as long as I risk hurting the one I would love with my problem, my addiction and PIED. I need to get clean now! Because I cannot go on like this.
    Sep 2, 2017
  9. DBug
    DBug
    I need to end this f***ing addiction. NOW!
    Sep 2, 2017
  10. Castielle
    Castielle
    Welcome back! Pick yourself back up and try, try again. Sometimes we have to hit rock bottom again to remember how it feels and how much we don't want to be there again.
    Sep 2, 2017
  11. DBug
    DBug
    Thanks :)
    Sep 2, 2017
  12. IR254
    IR254
    Hey, man. Good to hear from you again. I know exactly what you are talking about. I had a phase like this not too long ago myself. I binge-relapsed like two weeks, multiple hours every day. I felt crushed afterwards.
    Sep 3, 2017
  13. IR254
    IR254
    You probably know the saying: You have to hit rock bottom before things get better. In my case, it feels like it was true. I have my longest streak ever since my major relapse.

    You can do this, too! DBug, I believe in you. Let's turn things around for the better.
    Sep 3, 2017
  14. DBug
    DBug
    You're right, I can do this :)
    And congrats on your streak! Keep it going!
    Sep 3, 2017
  15. EverydayIsANewChance
    EverydayIsANewChance
    Welcome back bro!!
    Sep 5, 2017
    Rising Sun !! and DBug like this.
  16. DBug
    Sep 5, 2017