Keep Going

On the journey to recovery... I have discovered the most important element is to keep going. Why? Because in no matter what we do, it's about discovery, it's about choices and it's about learning and growing.

One of the most challenging issues that comes with porn addiction, well actually any addiction is that we want to side step what is really going on. We don't want to feel the challenges we are facing.

Let's get really clear... sometimes it's truely difficult to own up to just how hard it can be. In-fact I spent most of my life avoiding my feelings and avoiding life in general. I avoided so much of life that it was bitterly painful to get real about the things I avoided.
When I look at the dysfunction now, it's been a blessing. The blessing has been that I am able to grow and get super clear about what truly matters to me.
If I didn't have an addiction I may well be drifting aimless. They say that challenges add character. But it's what we do with these challenges that makes us who we are.

How do we respond when we are hit with difficulty? Do we become like the diamond forged in the fires of the earth or do we simply choose to be defeated?
If we are to grow we must face ourselves earnestly and discover what we are made of. Challenges give us the capacity to know ourselves better than easy going moments.
If we practise with little challenges then we can apply ourselves with bigger issues.

Whilst we want to learn compassion, we also want to practise commitment and resilience. Sex and sexuality are potent forces that drive both men and women, Our arousal is not to be ashamed of, we only need to harness this energy and put it into the things we love and make the world a place we want to be in.

Next time you observe yourself wondering if this is the best thing you could be doing with your time and feeling shame and guilt... I suggest being honest... I invite you into a life that you want for yourself. Let's not beat ourselves up or kick ourselves in the head for making mistakes. Imagine doing this to a child learning to walk and how ineffective that would be each time they fell down. When we make a mistake, lets get back up, dust ourselves off and be kind to ourselves. Be supportive to each positive thing we do as we honour our journey. Life is not for the feint of heart and rewards are always sweeter when genuinely earned.

Let's today make positive choices and celebrate them. Let make choices that we can look back on when we are on our death bed and say yes... I left a legacy on this earth. I lived each day to the fullest and made best use of each moment that came my way.

I invite you to give life your utmost best. I welcome you home where every feeling is honoured and even if you have failed a thousand times, you can still make your life one worth living. Starting with now.

 

Every day is a new beginning. If we meet each moment with full presence, no matter what it is we are feeling, we will be able to make the most out of our lives.
Addiction is primarily related to our sense of incompleteness we feel within ourselves. Which comes from a lack of fullness of presence. Personally for me in the depths of my addiction I was unable to stand in the centre of my emotions. All I wanted to do was distract myself.
All I wanted was escape. Predominantly escape is about a lack of willingness to surrender to how life is in the moment. One of the questions I like to ask myself is this:
Is it safe to feel all that is coming up for me?
Usually, the tendency is to avoid feeling and hence addiction becomes a way of dissasociating from who we really are.
For recovery to begin, we need to get clear about what we feel. What is the truth? Are we avoiding life or are we meeting it fully?
In the depths of my addiction I could never be close to a woman no matter how beautiful she was. I could never fully see her beauty let alone my own.
Recovery is about presence. It's about seeing ourselves fully and those around us. Addiction blinds us. Because we are not prepared to feel our pain which is a legitimate part of life.
Can we allow the pain to be there as be transformed by it? Or will we continue to numb ourselves and remain distant from the very life we desire and ache for? Will we keep the woman or man we long to share our life with at a distance and instead choose fantasy over the desired reality?
I know what the truth in me wants. It's that you choose a life free from pain and misery. It's that you honour your pain and let it awaken you.
It's that you utilise the pain you feel to recreate your life into something wholesome and benevolent for the sake of creating peace on earth.
I know what you want is already at the core of your heart. And by God, you deserve it!

 

God Bless you too Aloha,
When we know we are blind, we are no longer blind. When we recognise we have not seen we know we are waking up.

 

Yes thank you brother, totally resonate with the Power of Now. This has been the biggest transformative presence in my life.

 

Does that work better?