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Extreme Fetishes?

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by 343_guilty_spark, Aug 18, 2017.

  1. 343_guilty_spark

    343_guilty_spark Fapstronaut

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    Hi, new here, hopeless addict of various porn and related stuff, and have tried and failed many times to stop.

    Just wondering, this site seems geared more toward helping people with more vanilla porn dependence, is it not a good/ok place to talk about the more extreme things associated with porn related activities(nothing illegal), mental illness etc.? I mostly just want to talk to someone(anyone) about my personal story and problems, but am afraid its just too much for this particular site. Most people obviously wouldn't be able to relate, but my story could serve as a sort of a worst case scenario with regard to sexual addictions/porn.

    Just asking. I should probably have sought professional help long ago, but I'm one of those stubborn assholes who believes in personal responsibility (oh the irony!).

    Thanks, and best wishes
     
  2. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    Welcome to NoFap where you are amongst friends who are here to encourage you and sometimes challenge you but not judge you.

    The enemy is here to steal, kill and destroy. What are your current strategies for combating the enemy called PMO?
     
  3. JakeWoods

    JakeWoods Fapstronaut

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    I also developed some fetishes that I don't want. I tend not to talk about them here because people are trying to give up porn and if I mention something I used to watch it could trigger someone who's trying to give up.

    Just know that you're not alone with your fetishes. Majority of people who use porn enough will develop some, the longer you use the worse ones you develop. You can private message people on here who want to discuss what it is you're after. You can even message me on here if you feel like you need to vent and get it out of your system. Rest assured I won't judge, when I say I understand, trust me. I understand lol
     
  4. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

  5. HappyDaysAreHereAgain

    HappyDaysAreHereAgain Fapstronaut

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    Many of us have exposed ourselves to far more hardcore P than was healthy for us. I do not think you would shock us. If you can talk about it without being too triggering or crude, I don't know why you couldn't talk here. Laying it out on the table could help you in a variety of ways. It could even lead to a connection with someone who has a similar issue and needs someone to understand them. Until somebody breaks the ice there will be no change.
    We are here to support and encourage each other. I hope you feel encouraged.
     
    bunnyheartbeat likes this.
  6. FlatlineFred

    FlatlineFred Fapstronaut

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    Mine were

    Japanese "schoolgirl" porn (18+ actresses, mostly late 20's, acting younger)
    Jailbait (clothed images)
    Some bondage
    Teens (18 + actresses acting younger)
    (real) female orgasms

    Nothing too shocking but nothing to be proud of either..
     
  7. hey. welcome to the forum

    youre not alone in dealing with extreme fetishes. i also deal with fetishes. theyre pretty awful, huh?
    i hope that you can find someone youre comfortable speaking with, that you trust.
    i know i was lucky to, atleast find one person who i feel i could tell some things to and was kind about mine.
    i think itd do a great help seeing a proffessional but thats up to you
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 18, 2017
  8. 343_guilty_spark

    343_guilty_spark Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the replies, I really appreciate it. I really don't know what to do about my problem, but talking about it is a start I suppose. The thing about porn and masturbation/edging in general is that its never enough, and it seems like once you do something you REALLY enjoy, the "regular stuff" is just no longer worthwhile. It leads you to do things a sane person would never consider. I think it might be worth just listing my porn/sexual evolution here from beginning to present (Warning:ITS FUCKED UP)

    1: Girls/Vanilla (I originally M'd to a scene in a movie showing sideboob lol, how innocent)
    2: Anal (it didnt take long to discover my interest in this particular part of the human anatomy)
    2: Gay (I'm a naturally curious person, and, although Im confused about my sexuality, looking back I am probably not totally stratight)
    3: transwoman stuff (see above)
    4: Chat room stuff (when I was maybe 14/15? I frequented a lot free adult chat rooms, and things got weird from there)
    5: Webcam stuff <-----(this is probably the most important! It all started when I was given a laptop senior year of hs, and it had a built in cam. So then when I went to chat rooms (Yahoo chat mostly) I could turn on my cam, and get compliments from strangers which felt amazing as I've always had low self esteem, it developed to the point where I would try to get as many people as possible watching me and I would obey the most aggressive peoples instructions)
    6: Craigslist (Wow I really hate my friend for telling me about cl personals (it was a shock lol thing), but I immediately found that being an attractive young male, I could essentially have sex whenever I wanted (within minutes) as long as I didn't mind doing it with guys (I didn't))
    7: Sissy Hypno stuff (I would advise against exploring this stuff unless you're of sound mind and can handle it, I must admit I am probably one of the lucky ones here as I knew right off the bat that I would never could never actually transition to a girl, the fantasy was still intoxicating however. At the time, I had recently began living on my own with a 9-5 job, money, and free time, and that combination lead me to basically adopt porn/PMO as my hobby. I smoked weed, cross-dressed, did cl meet ups, cam shows, the whole 9 yards but it never really satisfied me. Looking back, I wish I had had some roommates instead of living alone, I just didn't have the self control to deal with what happened)

    THIS IS WHERE IT GETS BAD (its seriously disturbing, read at your own risk)

    8: Humiliation/Exposure/Scat (So I met this "dom" guy on a chat room (where I like to be submissive), and he turned me onto some content that I had never seen before, not sure if anyone here is even aware of this stuff! but basically it involves exposing yourself online (mostly tumblr) in humiliating ways /with personal identification sometimes (name/ID/ etc.) this fetish basically plays on the users personal self-hatred and shame and builds toward a want/need to post yourself online in order to get off. In my case it also involved my personal interest in scat (coprophilia) which had been benign but it took off especially when associated with the above feelings of shame and humiliation (not a good combination). This culminated in an event where my personal info was online along with disturbing pictures(some of which have since been removed), and some stranger actually contacted me on fb about it (aggressively--think blackmail) and I almost committed suicide that night.

    Now I'm here, and I wish I could go back to a time where I didn't have to worry about all this nonsense. It may be too late for me, but I wanted to at least tell some of my story to try to warn people about the destructive / seemingly unlimited nature of sexual pleasure and porn addiction. For me it was just as dangerous as hard drugs, but I had no idea when I started. I wish someone had told me about this when I was young, maybe then I wouldn't have fucked my life up so badly. I do think it is important to talk about this sort of thing, especially to inform young people who otherwise don't know any better. Porn is great, but it DOES NOT add anything good to your life, and if you are prone to addictive behavior / don't have a support system available to fallback on it can lead to self destructive behavior.
    I just have to add, during my excursions into this deeply troubling stuff (mostly tumblr but some other sites as well), I met a lot of people who were MUCH more fucked up than me (if you thought the stuff I did was crazy!) and I don't want that to be me someday, DON'T LET IT BE YOU!
     
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2017
  9. HappyDaysAreHereAgain

    HappyDaysAreHereAgain Fapstronaut

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    @343_guilty_spark, That is an awesome message and open account.
    I would recommend editing it with
    This is the text where you gave a graphic account of something that might excite somebody that does not need to be excited by it.
    for the things where you gave verbal warnings.
    In edit mode, you highlight the text you warn about, then click on the + button above and then click on SPOILER. you get a little window and you can label the section as is fitting or just leave it blank and it will only label it with "SPOILER".
     
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2017
    overclocked and 343_guilty_spark like this.
  10. overclocked

    overclocked Fapstronaut

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    That's pretty hardcore @343_guilty_spark . I believe firmly that abstinence can cure even the worst fetishes that were induced by porn, maybe even those who were there before porn. So welcome aboard.
     
  11. HappyDaysAreHereAgain

    HappyDaysAreHereAgain Fapstronaut

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    That looks better!
    You have really been through a lot. I hope you will use the tools from @D . J . He has some good suggestions. You can also browse through the forums for helpful threads. I would recommend beginning your own log/journal in the appropriate age section, beginning with an account of where you were that brought you here. It helps later when you think about giving up this quest. Someday you will start thinking that you really weren't that bad off. A concrete record can help keep you honest and on track.
    I haven't been every where you have, but I've been around enough that I don't shock easily, and I have healed from enough that I don't like to see others suffer.
    Best of luck with recovering your life and becoming the man you really are.
     
    343_guilty_spark likes this.
  12. 343_guilty_spark

    343_guilty_spark Fapstronaut

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    Thanks! I appreciate it! From what I've seen so far on here, it looks like its definitely worth giving a shot. I have tried before on my own, but obviously didn't get very far. I do have a general question before I begin abstinence: I currently use PMO/etc. as a stress relief mechanism (again ironic, considering the stress it has caused), do you have any suggestions on other things I can do to relieve stress?
    Again thanks so much, you have no idea how cathartic it has been just typing out the stuff above, and I am really grateful for the welcoming atmosphere here! You guys are wonderful.
     
    Dr_prof likes this.
  13. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    Definitely check out Check out In Case You Didn't Know for strategies and tips. It will give you a number of boundaries to set up for yourself. Press the blue text to open the link.
     
  14. overclocked

    overclocked Fapstronaut

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    Np ;) I had some vanilla fetishes that were very persistant and throughout my reboot the thoughts disappeared and when I think about my old fetishes today I get no excitement whatsoever.

    Pls stop PMOing. Alcoholics drink for a stress relief. Before they know it, they are addicted.
    Find anything to relieve stress. Your dopamine is probably really bad (PMOing is like snorting coke). Did have any hobbies as a kid that you stopped because of PMO? Pick them up again.

    If not, choose anything that requires you to make progress. Why? PMO is instant gratification, like a drug. You have to teach your brain long term goal setting again.
    My suggestion is: Lifting weights. You can start at home if you don't feel safe in public, you gain self respect, discipline and masculinity, and it forces you to form some other great habits (better diet, good sleep).

    Anyway, we all need to learn to face difficulties and anxieties, sometimes there is no releif to these things, just stay strong and stay clean.
     
  15. 343_guilty_spark

    343_guilty_spark Fapstronaut

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    Thanks! I will certainly take that suggestion to heart! I have enjoyed exercise in the past, but recently stopped because of general business (work/schoool). It sounds like its worth adopting again, however, even if it takes some extra effort. I used to draw and read a lot as a kid, and of course video games have been a big of my life. But, to be honest the main thing that coincided with PMO being a big problem in my life, was when I lost all my friends after college and I started living alone. I went from being social reletively often, to being alone all day everyday for weeks at a time, and I used sex/PMO to fill that loneliness. I really never learned how to make new friends, its something I wish they taught kids in school, cause not everyone just 'gets' how to be social and maintain relationships that aren't born out of convenience. Anyway, I digress, thanks again for the advice!
     

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