70 days down and still going

So long post warning!
Well I am 32. I started PMO when I was 21 and kept going with it. I used to withdraw sporadically but simply because other things occupied my mind, not because I thought it was a problem. Eventually I noticed that I was getting into worse stuff and when I started watching videos of forced sex, I knew I had to stop. Reading about the porn industry and what women went through helped as well. Have you ever noticed that nearly all porn stars are inked? Some heavily? I have always wondered if that is their way to express the damage the industry and it's users have wreaked upon them.
Of course I didn't go cold turkey straight away. I switched to amateur videos, figuring that that at least was less exploitative. The lies we tell ourselves. Downloading videos of unsuspecting couples or of a girl whose boyfriend promised her that it was private before uploading it to the internet. There is a special place in hell for the latter, bastards that they are and for us since our use encourages it.
I finally managed to quit P altogether. Of course I still edged with R rated movies but it was far less and I patted myself on the back for a job well done. However my fantasizing basically hit top gear and more than made up the balance. Because it wasn't porn, I didn't take it as seriously which was the mistake. Porn had resulted in a lot of wasted time and energy but fantasizing could be done so easily and anywhere that it was easy to think of it as not especially serious. It was only when my partner came into my life that I started making a serious effort to tackle both.
That was 5 years ago. I discovered NoFap and this community last year. I am on my 74th day now and here are the improvements I have seen.

I use the extra time to get a lot more done. Not only does it stop me from wandering off to porn land but also reinforces what I have gained from NoFap.
I am a lot more focused and alert with my work.
I no longer objectify women which means I am more relaxed around them. Previously I used to be paranoid that they could sense my thoughts or see what a terrible person I truly was.
I feel good about myself. Previously, I felt like I was just barely alive, coming to the surface only when I wanted to get off and then sinking back into mindless death-like slumber.
All the extra work and the good feeling means I sleep a lot better.
Being on my feet and active has improved my health. I no longer gorge on junk food just because I can't be bothered cooking.

When I started, it was to get things working again down there. Now though, I just want to be free of this horrible addiction so that I can take control of my life again. I have an idea of who I want to be and for the first time in a long while, it looks like I might get there. I am not fully there yet and while things are perky downstairs, it's still not what it used to be. But I think I can see a light at the end of the tunnel.

 

Good streak, you! I am hoping to get to where you are now. Of course I want to keep it going for longer than that, but that's my current goal.

 

Thanks Skadoosh. It's not that being stirred to lust by a beautiful woman is unnatural. But when that is all that occupies your head, against your will, then it becomes a problem.
Those things do fade away, the longer you can keep the streak going. But you have to keep your guard up. It is pretty insidious how it can sneak back when you are complacent.

 

Thanks Napav. You too.

 

Hi guys, sorry for the lack of activity on the thread. I have been travelling over the last few weeks and just got back.
So I am at 92 days now which is 2 days more than my last streak so Hooray!
My policy of keeping myself busy is still my greatest defence against this addiction. In the first thirty to fifty days, the addiction would flare up hard in sudden surges which I was prepared for. I don't get the surges anymore but it has become more insidious. Creeping up silently when I least expect it. When I become aware of it, I immediately get up and find something, anything to do.
As for the positive effects, apart from all the work I have achieved, I have become a great deal more focused in everything I do. I also sleep better and I usually wake up with wood. After keeping myself busy, sleep is the most important habit you need. If you were like me and needed to M or fantasize to sleep, you know what I mean. Lack of sleep makes you more likely to relapse. You are more irritable, less focused, more prone to the kind of thoughts that strangle your willpower. It was hard going for the first few weeks but I now have a good routine and it helps immensely.
I would also add that I am overall far more satisfied with my life. It comes from doing well at work because I am more focused but also because I no longer feel that vague sense of guilt, shame and paranoia which stems from this addiction. Some people have noted this during their addiction but I think it becomes more clear when it is no longer there. Like a really unpleasant background sound that suddenly stops and allows you to hear clearly. And a sense of achievement that grows with every day I stick to this.
I read recently that it takes 66 days to form a habit. After 66 days it becomes harder to go back to the old habits because your brain considers all the time and energy invested in forming this new habit and is therefore reluctant to roll it back. I do not know how important the 66 day marker is but that's how I feel. Like I have come too far to go back to something I hate.

 

One more day to hit the 100 mark. I had a surge of surprisingly strong PMO thoughts the last couple of days; almost as if the monster within knows I am close to my 120 day target and is waiting for me to relapse. I hope I can keep it going past that but even if I fail, I'll know that I beat my previous record and I can do it again. Hope is the most important thing.

 

Thanks SkyFallBack. You are right. There is always something better to do than PMO. It's usually better during the working week. The weekends are when the flares comes. My initial target was 120 and I am hoping to push it to 150 if possible.

 

You can do it. It has to be taken day by day. And whenever you feel the urge to relapse, consider that it will wasting everything that you put in so far. Even if it is only a day or a week. Make a list of things that need doing and keep yourself busy.

 

You can do it. It has to be taken day by day. And whenever you feel the urge to relapse, consider that it will wasting everything that you put in so far. Even if it is only a day or a week. Make a list of things that need doing and keep yourself busy.

 

I do and it's actually a good thing. You are not meant to have your sperm bottled up in your balls so your body cleans itself by dumping all the old sperm. The fact that you have wet dreams means you system is healthy. As long as your wet dreams are not self-induced (porn, edging, deliberately fantasizing before sleep), you are good.

 

Thanks SkyFallBack, I still can't believe I finally made it into three digits. It seemed impossible at one time but the longer your streak, the easier it is to reject the idea of giving it all up for 5 seconds of pleasure and a lifetime of self-loathing.