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Why Only a Very Select Few Will Beat This Addiction

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Matrix Intel, Aug 9, 2017.

  1. First off, as with any addiction, the secret to getting rid of PM addiction is getting rid of it once and for all, just like an alcoholic or heroin addict would. This goes for anything. You're are either HOT or COLD, there is no in between, plain and simple.

    Aside from that, it takes perseverance. This means not beating yourself up when you relapse. Interestingly, these two mindsets put together helped me reach 240 something days of complete abstinence. You must get rid of the fear of relapsing. It's really a ratio. However, the final point I want to make is what's really important.

    Do you want the life you dreamed of? Where you no longer have negative, self limiting thoughts? Where you can go for life head on without having any inner demons stop you? Do you want to always be content with life, never having to worry about the future or past, only what you can do NOW to make your life better? Do you want to change your views about the opposite sex, or same sex, or both, for the better? Do you want to never feel rejection ever again, even though the whole world may reject you? Do you want to be able to connect with the opposite sex again like it should be? Do you want to feel loved? Do you want to feel content even when you're not loved? You get the picture.

    I'm sorry to break it to you folks, but for those who have been addicted to PM for years, nearly a decade in my case: It's going to take YEARS, going to say that again, YEARS, to get back to how life should be like in the above paragraph. I'm dead serious, even I'm still fighting inner demons, and I'm sure I still will be fighting demons a year from now. This isn't just some "oh, once I'm rebooting life will be back to normal." NO, this IS you're new life and you're going to fuckin face it face to face whether you like it or not. You can even be two years clean, but what will you do when you have a girlfriend on her period and can't have sex for some time? Will you fap? Again, you're facing life head on. This is why the benefits never stop. We are always learning in life, whether 20, 30, 40, 50 or however how old we are, we're always learning. You really, truly learn and grow when you face life head on.
     
  2. Yarxing

    Yarxing Fapstronaut

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    in a lot of ways I agree with you. But sometimes I feel PMO is giving more weight in these matters than it deserves. and I have this feeling more and more on this forum when Im readin different posts. Inner happiness or congruence is a matter of a lot of things, and while I agree that pmo took alot of healthy years away, life can get back to normal faster than you describe it. Through the years we are shaped by a lot of things and pmo is but one factor here. incorporating your former addiction is a challenge, but far from impossible. Dont give pmo this massive power, it doenst deserve it. instead I belittle it, I tell it to fuck off and I find that it makes a lot of difference. but hey, we are still different people and who dealt with other life shaping events..so this is just my 2 cents.
     
  3. I agree, life can get back to normal, whatever the means, faster than I describe. I also concur with you on not fearing PM and giving it all this power. When I mentioned years of rebooting, I was referring to conquering the inner demons, or self-limiting beliefs related to sexuality in any shape or form. By conquering one's sexual energy after many years, these limiting beliefs have no more food to grow or exist. Make no mistake, beliefs that you have bought into for years are very hard and take tons of time to get rid of. It may be gone 80 or even 95 percent, but it takes time to go away completely. This is why people spend thousands in psychologist for this shit. I'm sure anyone that has conquered limiting beliefs, or inner demons, know that it does get better but it does take TIME, and no PM is a huge part of this. After all, many of us have been stuck deep in this addiction for nearly a decade.

    Now as far as getting to the point where you can focus on other things in life and not nofap, yeah sure, that happens in a relatively short time, but conquering those inner demons completely may take years.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 9, 2017
    Tom_Corsi and novtheo like this.
  4. With that said, I've come a VERY long way from where I started, and everything is so clear now. However, to say that I'm done improving would be a very, very premature thing for me to say, especially at age 22 where the brain doesn't fully develop til 25. Regardless, this goes way past brain development.
     
  5. Pmo is in the past

    Pmo is in the past Fapstronaut

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    Those that do make it could get cocky and risk getting addicted again.
     
    Fork2323 and Matrix Intel like this.
  6. BINGO This is why we have to treat it like an alcohol addiction.
     
    Fork2323 likes this.
  7. RPdude

    RPdude New Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the post. This is something that I'm constantly afraid of, but I really needed to hear that.
     
    Matrix Intel likes this.
  8. plant goodness

    plant goodness Fapstronaut

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    More like cocaine addiction imo.
     
    Matrix Intel and j__todd like this.
  9. OneWithTheUnderdogs

    OneWithTheUnderdogs Fapstronaut

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    Totally agree.

    I fought off PMO, and by incorporating new lifestyle changes and a positive, aggressive mindset, I felt I was in the best headspace of my life within a matter of weeks.

    Frequently masturbating to porn is surely going to put a ceiling above you and your potential accomplishments, but removing PMO is only part of the battle.
    Chances are that PMO has played a significant role in holding you back in other aspects of your life. Your dream job, finding that perfect girl, having no social anxiety, a feeling of natural confidence; all these things will start to blossom naturally when you stop jacking off all the time, as your mind will be trying to find new ways to get that "feel good" hit.

    You need to take active steps to pursue these goals, but when you do, your life will change dramatically before your eyes.

    It doesn't have to take years to heal, you just need to be motivated and hungry enough to turn all of life's negatives into positives.
     
  10. Yup! And some people around here expect results and such in 30 days. It takes a whole lot of time to heal properly. .
     
  11. Veronico

    Veronico Fapstronaut

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    177 days, 245 days and still sruggling? Hehe. I've said farewell to porn since the 4 days I've started abstaining from it.

    Want to know how to completely masterize your libido and not be tempted by any sexual situation? PM me. I've already helped 2 guys who were amazed by this master simple trick everyone should know. It's really simple. Masterize it and Porn won't bother you anymore.
     
  12. This paragraph is a fantasy. There is no such thing as a life without problems, challenges, rejection, and obstacles. Problems are a part of life. Addicts aren't people with problems, they're people who don't know how to deal with problems. Happiness isnt found in having a problem free life, no, happiness consists in having solvable problems. That's it.
     
    Kenzi, Idaho man, Fork2323 and 3 others like this.
  13. I aint struggling at all though. Thank God , everything is going fantastic.
     
  14. Well, you can post it here as well for those guys who wants to know.
    Let them see what's in your pocket...
    Peace.
     
  15. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    Yep, the small measure of happiness we may attain to in this life comes from being able to cope with suffering.

    Life is suffering. The constant pursuit of happiness is, in the rearview mirror, the fleeing from suffering. It is an ideology to be consumed by the masses... 'thou shalt be happy!', and is exactly why they are unhappy. It makes for good consumers.
     
  16. Prog13

    Prog13 Fapstronaut

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    I agree with Son of a bitch in total.
    What i did and still doing?
    Before even realising that i have addiction,i begun in 2012 psychoanalysis sessions and i still do.I knew that i had issues with myself and now i am a diffirent person,better person.Last August i realised that i have the addiction when PIED came up.Before that i had already found the reasons that did drive me to PMO and about the rest of the issues that i had:depression,social anxiety,obsessive disorder,selfishness.The reasons where based in childhood,traumatic experiences with parents,teachers,kids in school,kids in neighbourhood etc.
    And a year ago i found Nofap which helps me to get over PIED,PM,P related sexual thoughts and start rebooting,which also hepled me with the psychology stuff.

    What i want to say is that i combined 2 elements:
    1)trying to find the reasons that le me to the addiction and feel free of that psychologically.
    2)the way to solve the problem.
    In other words:the theoretical and the practical way.

    I know that happiness lasts just some moments,it is not forever.
    Dealing and solving problems brings happiness for sort period of time and then back again from the beggining.This is our life i supppose.

    Of course"once a junkie,always a junkie" but i think that we can get rid of the junkie inside of us once an for all and the only thing that will be left is going to be a bad memory which will be our guardian angel for the future.
     
  17. I will win

    I will win Fapstronaut

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    Congrats on your 245 days!!
     
  18. Infern0

    Infern0 Fapstronaut

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    i think the main reason most fail is that they don't understand what lead them to PMO so much in the first place.

    I quit last year, almost got to 90 days, day 50+ i got tons of benefits and felt great, but i was messing around with an ex who had rejected me in the past, it didnt go well and i relapsed.

    Point being my fear of intimacy and rejection issues (the reason i pmo) were still there, had not been adressed and triggered me hard.

    You have to truly understand yourself and as well as nofap, do what you need to do to fix your holes. in my case it came to the point i needed to start seeing a therapist regularly to deal with the trauma that was manifesting in those issues.

    Most people fail because they do nofap and maybe a few other healthy habits and think that all their deep seated issues will magically fade away. I've seen people go over a year then drop off and go back into the pit.

    nofap and eating raw vegan and whatever else you do won't fix all your issues.

    But nofap can help you to deal with them a lot better.
     
  19. Yes and no.

    A reboot is at its basic level a "deal with your problems challenge" that's it. The problem is how one goes about pursuing happiness. We can have and make happiness and it's a simple as being resigned to the bitter truth that problems and sufferings will always be a part of life, but that this fact alone cannot rob us of our happiness unless we let it. We let problems and suffering rob us of happiensss when we waste them instead of utilize them. There are only two types of suffering that exist: 1)suffering you've utilized to help you grow, mentally, physically, or spiritually- if that's your thing, or 2) suffering you've wasted by trying to escape an inescapable fact which is suffering will never go away until you're dead.

    The first type of suffering coexists with happiness while the other one looks towards people, places, and things to remove what cannot be removed. This is why so many people relapse after reaching their reboot goal because they find out "oh, I'm rebooted and I still have problems?! A reboot didn't take away challenges, rejection, or my problems!?" aaand relapse because they haven't accepted problems have a lifetime shelf life. Get used to it. Once you resign yourself to the fact that there will always be problems, suffering, obstacles, rejection, and challenges, then your actions change form "I can't deal with this" to "how can I deal with this?" which makes all the difference in learning mentally, physically, and spiritually how to cope with problems in a healthy way, which in turn builds happiness amidst the hardships of everyday life.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 10, 2017
  20. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    Yes, I think happiness is more a by-product than an end in itself. It's when we strive and overcome the obstacles which life puts in our way [that is life] that we attain to some sense of happiness/ achievement.

    But this sort of striving is based on such things as culture, morality, ethics, and religion [the humanities]... a sort of overcoming of life for something more ideal and transcendent. Yet sadly people are all too often estranged from this view [due to realistic science] - today the pursuit of happiness is our dogma... and it is this very pursuit that ends up in unhappiness, as it inevitably devolves into the pursuit of pleasure, which tends to devolve into the misery of an addiction of one sort or another.

    It reminds me of another thread, which asked 'what is love?'. We only have intimations of love and happiness, and we know these things must somehow exist, and yet they only make sense within a more ultimate understanding of existence. They point beyond our mortality.:rolleyes:
     
    Last edited: Aug 10, 2017
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