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How to stop being effeminate

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by movingforward16, Jul 7, 2017.

  1. Anyone know how to stop being effeminate? i have very feminine voice and mannerisms and i want to change. i myself am straight but i feel due to wounding at an early age i identified more with women.

    please reply if you have something constructive to say but i dont need to hear "stop being insecure/you can't changr your voice" bla bla bla

    thanks
     
    Metal Bat likes this.
  2. Make friends with masculine males. We become what we hang around with and associate ourselves with. At first you might feel uncomfortable with them but eventually you will get used to it and start acting similarly. Try to do masculine activities too. Join a shooting club, a MMA club, a car enthusiast club, etc. And try to limit the times you spend with your old female friends. It should be 20% or less. The bottom line is that you have to change your environment. Then it will naturally shape you over months and years without you even needing to try.
     
    Baroque and jest like this.
  3. thank you buddy. best advice ive got. im going to delve into masculine subjects.

    as my job literature teacher is quite emotional based ( i dont want to say masculine) it is important to get a masculine side.
     
  4. Runtilmylegsdropoff

    Runtilmylegsdropoff Fapstronaut

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  5. Runtilmylegsdropoff

    Runtilmylegsdropoff Fapstronaut

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    Join your country's military. Preferably the Infantry ground forces.
     
  6. i have aspergers syndrome and they dont want people they deem to be "mentally inferior"

    ahh well

    i might try boxing actually.
     
    Runtilmylegsdropoff likes this.
  7. Runtilmylegsdropoff

    Runtilmylegsdropoff Fapstronaut

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    Western boxing is a great idea. Find a real gritty hard nosed boxing gym in your local area.
     
  8. i know im afraid in case hurt my pussy hahaha

    oh its not gonna be fun but these things got to be done.
     
  9. li_89_am

    li_89_am Fapstronaut

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    I'm a student speech pathologist. There are some speech and breathing exercises that can help with getting a more masculine sounding voice. They are somewhere at the bottom of a file in my bedroom. I will dig them out and share the content with you at some point over the weekend.
     
  10. model yourself on masculine men.
    literally imagine what it would feel like.. how would you stand? How would you talk? is your posture different?
    Try practicing that a in the mirror. have fun with it.
    One tip though- make it your own - don't try to exaclty imitate a movie star's voice or gestures, just get comfortable modeling some masculine traits then modify them to suit yourself.

    Also list what traits you find as masculine and then have an action next to them that would embody them.
     
    Powerous likes this.
  11. Also read the book The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida. It's probably not gonna teach you how to act all though and stuff, but it is a good example of principles, behaviors and values that any masculine male personality type should embody.
     

  12. please do man
     
  13. thanks everyone lots of great replies
     
  14. JamesRK

    JamesRK Guest

    If you want to put a special focus on your voice, look up the book Full Voice by Barbara McAfee. It's an incredibly fast read, and it really changed my perspective on voice in general. I always thought I needed to "change" my voice. I tend to be soft spoken, which has served me well, but it became limiting in leadership roles. After reading and practicing, I found that I already had the capacity to use my voice differently to speak more loudly and at a lower vocal tone, and it didn't require that I completely change my natural vocal tone. It just required a little practice.
     
  15. Powerous

    Powerous Fapstronaut

    I feel effeminate/weak every time I break my streak and binge to porn, afterwards I just feel drained my inner strength just disappears.
    Whenever I was on a good streak I felt much more manly and masculine.
     
  16. LavaMe

    LavaMe Fapstronaut

    Watch some old John Wayne movies. And remember his words, 'talk low, talk slow, and don't say too much.' Really the last two you can definitely do. If you don't already know learn the power of silence. Women tend to talk over each other. Men will let pauses happen and even sit there and say nothing.
     
    Metal Bat likes this.
  17. very interesting replies thanks
     
  18. li_89_am

    li_89_am Fapstronaut

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    I will post some exercise below. The book 'Voice work: Art and Science in Changing Voices' is where they are taken from (and it offers more but I haven't had time to go through as my original notes are in shorthand so I had to type them up to make sense - hopefully they do). A further tip would be to look up 'resonance' and voice and work on that. Most evidence suggests that resonance is important in changing gender perception in voice. Any questions let me know.
     
  19. Metal Bat

    Metal Bat Fapstronaut

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    Old movies are gems!

    I just watched The Big Country, with Gregory Peck and Charlton Heston. Great movie, great lessons about manhood.

    Watch one old movie per week.

    And start practicing a competitive sport. Let yourself feel the blood running through your veins.
     
    Powerous likes this.

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