This time, I had to.

Hello guys, I'm 24 and fap since I was 11. Yes, that's very early, but it became a daily thing at the 14s, I think. Well, all my friends at the time started together, we used to talk about it normaly and make fun of it. But the time has passed, they started to date girls and have sex somewhere between 15-17 years, but not for me.

I had no confidence at first, but then I fell in love with a girl that lived in other state and couldn't see her at the time. These two things - lack of confidence and the girl - made me keep the masturbation, instead of following the natural pathway of discovering that a girl body was better than my hands. When I had the chance, was too late.

I was 20 when had my first sexual experience. At the first moment, the girl played hard with me (and I was hard at this point). But the some time passed and she decided to have sex, but I couldn't get an erection. Some months later, I could see the girl I fell in love, traveled to her state. The first night, had a great boner, but again the girl (I think that is clear that was not the same girl for my first time) doesn't want to do anything. When she finally wanted, I couldn't do it again. Can you imagine the situation? You, with the girl that wanted so bad for many years and you could NOT make love with her. And I know that this was happening because of porn and constant masturbation, but didn't made anything to deal with deal for real at the time.

This situation happened more 4 times, with other girls - the last one was 3 days ago. Basically, I still virgin because I couldn't penetrate a girl and cum properly. Never made the whole process. So I decide to quit porn and masturbation because I feel my life is already ruined at this point because I just can't have sex by now.

I hope you guys help me to get through this and sorry for the bad english

 

Thank for the good words.

Well, right after failed with the last girl, I made the decision. I think that the shame of the situation was the boost that I needed and it keeps coming to my memories every moment. Plus, I'll try to live with more faith, go back to God and start a new living.

 

https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/ok-here-i-am-again.110734/

That's my journal. Started today.

 

Thank you @Protagoras. The fact of a lot of men here made me confident to open myself and deal with the monster. I feel like I'm not alone on this.