Can't climax or maintain erection?

This is exactly what I've bee looking for. I can't
Orgasm with a woman ever. And it happened to me everytime I put a condom I loose my erection.

 

Same here dude. That's why I am doing the 90 day rebbot on hard mode, no sex whatsoever. I will have sex in about 2 weeks so by that time I'll be around 34-35 days pmo-free.

 

Okay hi again. It's not wrong to seek out physical explanations for ED and DE but when those are all ruled out you need to accept it's the PMO and stop it entirely. And to the original poster prone masturbation causes it's own series of issues. You need to stop the pmo. Sorry if I sound frustrated but I went through this with my partner. He was going to doctor after doctor he would not admit it was pmo. He said oh the testosterone test is wrong! When he would stop he would do it for a week and we would have sex and it would be no better so he'd say see it's not working. It takes time ! He too kept saying his penis was shrinking I can assure you it was not. But to prove my point I measured it and everytime he said that I measured again. It never changed. Your brain is playing tricks on you. It wants you to find any cause other than pmo for your issues. Recognize that. Stop looking for other answers there are not it's PMO.

 

I'm another person with this problem. Can't climax, and it fucking sucks. Thats one of the reasons I'm doing this, to be able to feel that connection with a partner and not just with a screen.

 

So sorry to hear you are suffering from this issue. I know how frustrating it can be and how difficult it can make relationships. The good thing is you found NoFap and you see the PMO as the cause of the DE and you did it on your own, that's half the battle. Most of us SO had to fight tooth and nail to get our partners to admit pmo is the cause and stop. Hang in there and keep to the program. You will see changes. Three months in my partner has now gained sensation in his entire penis. He used to say there was only one specific part of the head that felt anything and if you did not touch that spot he felt nothing. I thought that was odd having other prior partners but he said it's how he's always been. Then the other day he said OMG I have feeling in the whole thing wow! It's like a whole new sex life for him. It's a difficult road but the rewards are great.

 

I don't know if you are still experiencing this issue but I found that porn was a major issue for me especially accompanied by the quilt I felt. I am married. I was fine until I realized I was addicted to porn then the problems began. I could climax during long sex sessions if both my wife and I could keep going long enough. Masturbation with or without porn was no issue. So I finally cut out (or perhaps I should say down) on both. I am working to stop both the porn and masturbation. Since I have reduced both the ability to climax during sex with my wife has returned except for fatigue or stress unrelated to porn or masturbation.

 

It is great you realized this is your problem and are working on it now. Have you told your wife about what the cause is and that you are working on it? If not as an SO I recommend highly that you do. It will put you more at ease and help alleviate some of the guilt. She likely already feels horrible because of your performance issues and is blaming herself and so opening up to her and giving her a reason that is not her will help. It also will make you accountable to someone for no longer watching and I'm sure you realize you have to cut it all out entirely not just cut down if you want a happy sex life with your wife not just "cut down." It may be that you are not ready to totally stop right now. Once you totally cut it out you will see big changes. There will be no fatigue as it will not take you long to O. I also recommend not using your hand at all on yourself even during sex with your wife it will prolong the healing process. And be honest with her . Best of luck!

 

We have talked about this a lot. I have reassured her that she is not the reason and that it is the porn and masturbation. I am working to cut both out of my life. thanks

 

That's great that you are open with her. So long as she knows you are still using pmo but trying to cut down . Don't tell her you have stopped completely . If you read around on here that's very common with pmo addicts and the dishonesty is worse than the pmo use and you are open to whatever questions she asks you without being defensive. I would also render a guess that she still thinks she's the reason that she's unattractive and /or bad in bed. Even if you tell her it's not. The sooner you can remedy this the better for your relationship!

 

thanks...i'd say we have a very open and honest relationship. she knows I haven't stopped completely but knows that I am working on it. We both count everyday of sobriety as a blessing.

 

You have classic death grip syndrome

 

can you explain further?

 

Death grip is when you can only have an orgasm via masturbation. It's called death grip because of the pressure you put on your penis to ejaculate during masturbation. You also tend to ejaculate faster via masturbation so without the pressure and speed you normally use you lose your erection and can't ejaculate. Inside of a woman you would get soft because of the lack of pressure you need to orgasm/ejaculate. You also lose sensitivity in your penis because the grip itself can cause nerve irritation or damage. How to fix? Stop masturbating. How long depends on how severe the death grip.

 

If you can't erect you need a hard reboot.

 

As I indicated my partner has death grip and PIED. Something else we learned about death grip is that it's worse if you did not use lubrication during M. First because a vagina and mouth are wet and you can't feel the same type of friction moing dry. But second because it actually causes damage to the penile skin. The friction causes small abrasions in the skin which you may not notice or show up as a red area. The skin develops harder callous like skin over it and if you've ever had callous' you know that you can't feel anything under there. My partner is not circumcised so one would think he would have more sensitivity. Except when he moed he was pulling the skin back and forth with no lube developing a sensation that intercourse can't replicate. He had no idea all those years he was doing something bad for his penis . I hope more men find this out !

 

Yes lube matters