Loneliness/ Depression

To be fair mate just give up all pmo mate it's gonna suck but do it for a few weeks depression and anxiety is part of the flatline once you break it you will be feeling better just need to get passed the initial stage

 

You are taking away your painkiller, what made you think you would feel less pain?

I know what. The theory that porn desensitizes dopamine receptors and life doesn't bring you joy anymore.

What if it didn't bring much joy in the first place? What if that dark cloud of despair is not the result of porn, but the porn is the result of the dark cloud?

We often think nofap will fix our problems, but it only shows them to us.

I'm with you, man. Be brave. Try what you haven't yet. Tell us later how these 2 Os / month worked for you.

 

Good luck!

 

Honestly, I can only speak from personal experiences but I saw the earlier post about you going to a bar to talk to girls and boost your confidence. That, for me, would destroy my confidence. Being in that environment, superficial interactions, and using a substance that is a depressant (alcohol) would ultimately send me spiraling back into my depression way faster. I think the best way to think of it is getting to a place where you don't need to rely on that stuff. Getting your confidence another way like completing responsibilities, doing something you're passionate about, exercising, hanging out with close friends, etc. The rest will come along naturally. I saw this comment on a video recently and I'll share it again here....

"great brother. i´m about day 45, don´t count anymore, it´s my lifestyle now...the benefits are true...more testosterone, faster muscle growth, the aura women can feel subconsciously....i also feel that feeling to approach women...most of the time during my NOFAP-time + spiritual awakening I felt great, but what I checked out, especially again the last few days, if you focus on some women you already saw sometimes (like in the gym) and you feel that pressure to ask them or hopefully see them again it doesn´t feel good - i´m completly out of the flow, overthinking again and all that bad stuff....I came to the conclusion, that we should stop focusing on women so hard...we should enjoy life and do what we like, focus on our personal mission. then the women will come all alone or to say it in another way, spirit is guiding us to a nice woman, if we are in that flow...we have to let go to this pressure...this is the last thing i learned...because when i focus on women all the time, it makes me feel bad...when i´m doing the stuff i like i´m in tune with spirit and some "weird" situations with women show up without trying to hard...keep rising!"
-Spiritual Power Art

 

Hello. I don't know what you look like, how old are you, or what your passions and hobbies are. But I can relate to you. I have always suffered because I have never been what women consider to be 'an alpha male'. Maybe I could have become one, but I started masturbating when I was 6 years old. And, sorry if I offend believers, but, if there is a God, I will never forgive him because no child should ever get sucked into this addiction at such an early age. As a result, my masculinity never evolved past that age: my body, my brain, my everything.

The truth is we don't need advice. We need to be what we really want to be: smart, good-looking, active, talented, funny, appreciated, etc. I don't buy what shrinks say 'You have to start loving yourself as you are'. No. I don't love myself as I am now. I want to evolve. But our society is so flawed, it so lacks real role-models, that there is almost no chance for a person to want to evolve in the first place. Nowadays people are so obsessed with their image, luxury, shiny things, fame, that it is almost impossible for them to want something else.

If you really want to replace your addiction with something better, your only solution is to become better. Books, documentaries, sport, mountains, music, dancing, other cultures and traditions, history, etc., are things that will help you improve. Read jokes every day. Sense of humor is very important when you fight loneliness.

 

Well said stranger. Well said

 

Very well said.

 

shit bro... epic!

 

Hello again, NotSoAverageJoe, I'm really happy you have a busy meaningful life. And sport is one of the best ways to give life meaning. Especially team sports, because team sports not only teach you how to win and get things, but also how to become necessary to others (and help them win). And this is a very important quality for somebody who wants to have a girlfriend. Lots of men complain they get rejected, but this happens because they focus too much on their needs, instead of focusing on their potential partner's needs. That doesn't mean you have to pay compliments, give presents, invite to restaurants or become a 'nice guy', but to pay attention to qualities that are most admired in a man: honesty, courage, sense of humor, dignity, self-confidence, autonomy, co-operation. This is the kind of partner most girls would like to have.

But these qualities cannot be taught, they can only be acquired by putting yourself in various life situations. There is no other way. So if I really wanted you to learn these things, I wouldn't even have to tell you about these things explicitly; instead, I would let you try different ways of living and making a living. In my opinion, using one of your skills to earn money would be of great help (for instance, if you know foreign languages, you could be an interpreter or tour guide). Or you could get a part-time job or work in commerce.

Why is work so important in shaping your personality and even body. Because work and money will put you in real life situations. For example, if you have practiced the guitar all day long for 10 years at home, you'll notice that somebody who plays in a band is way better than you even if he took up this instrument 2 months ago. Of course, work can be harmful, just like any good thing that is not done in moderation.

So, if you want to stop watching porn, i think you should have a life as diverse as possible: social life, academic life, family life, professional life, hobbies - they are all equally important, as they help you integrate in society, learn how to become a normal person and date a girl.

If your parents don't understand you, you'll have to be determined and prove who you really are and what you want from life.

Now, one more thing, because I'm a realistic person.. From my experience, if a teenager or young man doesn't think of sex and if he doesn't look at porn, he will not feel the need to masturbate, because his daily activities will convert his sexual pressure into useful energy. But you are a human being, very young and have a high sexual drive. In my opinion, it is not impossible, but hard to avoid sexual thoughts at your age. My advice is therefore to masturbate as rarely as possible, without looking at porn or fantasizing, and only when sexual pressure causes you discomfort. But don't forget that most times discomfort is caused by sexual thoughts or porn, so stay away from them.

Also, I recommend you to get several opinions on sex: speak to a sex specialist doctor, read what Eastern traditional medicine (Indian and Chinese) says about sex and young people, etc.

I really think that living your life will help you answer your questions way better than any specialist or any of us. Enjoy life, bring beauty into it, because there are too many beautiful things around the world that shouldn't be missed.

Nowadays you can learn anything (playing an instrument, a foreign language, dancing, etc) off YouTube, so why would you use the Internet to look at porn?

 

Hang in there dude. I quit drinking alcohol after a long battle and it was freaking hard many relapses. Many times asking myself why the heck am I even doing this if this what life is like. Eventually it got way better. It wasn't till I was alcohol free I was able to see I had a PMO addiction as well. So I started quitting that too. I can tell you the withdrawals are the same as any addiction when quitting. What does that have to do with anything? You can go to other addiction forms and read their stories. What helped me a lot is I was waiter in LA where I got to see some of the famous celebrities who quit there addictions. I mean these guys were constantly surrounded by temptations. (Robert downey jr, Zac Effron, Bradley Copper, etc. ) What I noticed is these guys never sit still. They are either cracking jokes, making someone smile or working out. (oh and drinking espressos) I don't think they get depressed because they stay busy. They don't have time to think about being depressed. A friend of mine once said plan your days/ like you'd plan a vacation. Hope that makes sense and helps.