Well, I'm gonna journal some of my experiences here: The Party last night

So, last night I DID go to a singles party. I've moved further from the main part of my city so it's more of an effort to get there but I didn't actually mind that much. I was kinda dreading it but decided to "get back out there" and go. Worse case scenario to stay for an hour, best case scenario to stay till 11 and then leave.

Well, the people were friendlier than at that second party I went to in January, and I didn't have some guy pawing another girl in front of me, so THAT was an improvement! And one of the guys in a small group called me over to chat to me. I ended up talking to about 7 people in total, I think it was 4 guys and 3 girls. Again I didn't fancy anyone. One of the guys was quite cute but it was quickly clear he wasn't a match for me at all, but he was nice to chat to. And I even chatted to a guy at the bar. Like we kinda made eye contact, he had nice muscles so I was checking out if he was cute ha ha and then he said hi and we got talking. So, it was really nice to have that experience of a stranger guy just start talking to me at the bar when ordering a drink.

I did feel quite confident, so I think and hope that that's part of the NoFap benefits, woo hoo! I think I felt a bit more confident than at the last party and I think it's also that this is the 3rd party this year. Didn't get any numbers of the guys OR the girls (like, the girls as potential galpal friends, I mean) but I didn't necessarily WANT to, actually. Talked to quite a range, younger, older. A while ago, this guy said to me - actually a couple of guys have said this - to just practice my social, conversational skills in general so that when I DO meet someone I'm attracted to, it's easier to talk to him, rather than think, well, I rarely meet people I fancy at these things. I only stayed for an hour but I felt like, OK, I've done enough now, well done me. Still think online dating works better for me in a way, in terms of finding that mutual attractiveness, but even then you STILL have to go on a date with them and anything that can build up my dating confidence? Bring it ON! So, that was my little experience.

I also went to the party with the intention of it being a "social" thing and to work on my social and communication skills, not as in "to meet someone" (though I'd really love to.) And I'm pleased I felt like overall I could talk quite naturally to the people who talked to me. I felt a little bit uncomfortable with one of the girls though. She said we'd met at another meetup group and which one and I thought "Hmm, so you're one of the ones I contacted after who never got back to me about staying in touch?" and also she stared at my hair a bit. I KNOW I have a horrendous knot in it, I need to maybe go to a salon, but gosh girl, ENOUGH of the staring, it was making me a bit uncomfortable, like she was rejecting me, you know? (platonically.) So, yeah. I'm glad i felt a bit more confident there and hopefully it will increase with more practice and with continuing NoFap. And, I'm not convinced that "getting out there" is going to get me meeting someone, but it might increase my social and communication skills and my confidence enough that if I DO meet someone I like, it's easier to talk to him. Gosh, I hope so I guess it's still nice to have that social aspect to life regardless, right?

Tonight I might go to karaoke in my new local area. That's a lot easier cos it's a smaller scale, people seem friendly here (yay!) and i love karaoke. We have a long weekend so I'm making the most of it

There was a time, about two years ago, when I would go to a singles party by a Plenty of Fish member almost every week (it was mid week so that was quite an effort!)

I saw it as a social thing. Usually nothing else came of it, but it was good for me socially, and a laugh. Then I really got hurt by this guy I was involved with (not from there) and I forced myself to have a year off men. No singles events, no dating, no kissing and definitely no sex. I wasn't even allowed to CONTACT any guys and I changed my number. (Ironically, I let myself get into a sex chat room and do lots of chat there) But I think it, while on one hand maybe it let me heal, on the whole I think it may have been a bad decision to do that and I got increased social anxiety and dating anxiety from it, plus my PMO got worse and worse. I actually DON'T think originally it was an addiction, just a habit, but it BECAME an addiction that year off: April 2015-April 2016. No sex but I could PMO as much as I liked and believe me, I did! And got into harder stuff. So it's nice that now I have had 3 weeks no PMO hooray! and also that I'm getting out again socially (of course, after my break I DID sometimes go out to things! but my confidence has still been low.) and it looks like MAYBE my confidence is on the rise! Let's hope I get this confident around guys I actually really like too, fingers crossed!

 

GREAT!

Online dating has a lot of advantages but unfortunately I am too selective to find the right person.

Someone you like? Reminds me on a nice quote. "If you're searching for that one person who will change your life, take a look in the mirror."

Enjoy each day of your life!

 

Great reply!!

"I am too selective to find the right person"

OMG I can TOTALLY relate! Even now I'm a little in love with this guy in another city & I think he's gorgeous & seems nice, not sure if it will go anywhere or if I'll get to see him again but even with HIM I'm like "yes, but what about this? Or that?"

I don't felt a have a right to be selective but basically I can't help it. A glorious moment in my dating life was when I looked at 105 profiles thought nope liked one & ended up having two dates with him! (Like everyone I've also had INglorious moments too!)

Great mirror quote love it.
I find you so awesome, supportive & cool & really appreciate your reply!