No Attension from women

My whole life I have never been on a date nor have I had a girlfriend. The only times I had sex was through online hook ups with damaged women, transgendered people, or most recently with men. Up to this point I have had no genuine Attension from women. I am filled with feelings of depression and little self worth because of it.

I also want to say that I am a college student that still lives with my mom. I am from a working class family that has very little money. I myself make very little money. I feel like a girl upon knowing this would reject me.

The last thing I have to say is that I am struggling with how to cope with this. I spend all of my money going to massage parlors, and making other risky behaviors to fill that empty void. I feel like hooking up and going to massage parlors are the only way to get some Attension from women.

I feel worthless and I feel like a woman would never like me. I have no confidence to approach women. I assume they don't like me and I even sometimes resent women.

Thank you and would appreciate some comments.

 

Stop going to these odd massage parlors; they're killing your ability to get "Attension" or attention from women / transvestites / men. I believe this is the case because you're just viewing them as sex toys. As far as money goes, focus on finishing your college degree and then money should become a focus. This is unless if your college costs too much money and you need to get a job to support yourself or your family.

 

Thanks for the advice. It is exactly what I need. I will add that socializing gets easier when I don't orgasm for awhile. I have no idea why, but it helps.

 

I just have one question for you, do you blame women for not being interested in you, or do you blame yourself?

Think hard on what you do, on what you say, on how you look like. Think hard about your hobbies, personal hygiene, think about your dreams, aspirations, goals. Think about how you look like when you look at a woman walking down the street by looking at yourself in the mirror and seeing those emotions play out in front of you. Think about the image you show, the way you dress, the way you carry yourself, the way you feel about yourself.

After you do, ask yourself, where can I improve? What should I do to make myself a better person, a better lover, a better everything?

There's a famous saying from Albert Einstein and I quote "The definition of insanity, is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results."

If you want a change in your life, if you want women to be interested in you, then you have to improve yourself in every way.

There's no shortcut, no easy way, no amount of money you can pay, the change starts with you.

It's your choice, no one can do it for you.

 

There are a few issues I have. 1st I hate working out. 2. I hate the idea of changing my wardrobe, changing my looks, getting bigger muscles, and faking confidence just so that I can get a girl. I feel like that it's all artificial and the thought of doing all this exhausts me. If I have to do all of this k7st to get a girl. Then I don't want one. If I ever make any of these changes, it's only going to be for me. Not for some piece of ass.

 

I do appreciate your advice. They are all good ideas. I am just not motivated to do these things.

 

I did all these things to feel happy and proud of myself, if I'm not giving it all in life and become lazy, I can't complain my life is shitty, that women don't find me attractive. To complain is to assume that people have to accept you just the way you are because there's nothing for you to improve.

Self improvement is not about you changing yourself into someone else, is to become the best version of yourself.

If you are fat it means you have poor health, poor diet and little to no exercise. It doesn't mean anything else because anything else is an excuse. Take it from me, I used to weight 388 LB and I currently weight 330, I still have a long way to go, but I started this new healthy lifestyle in December, so it's only been a few months.

My wardrobe sucked, all I had were black shirts, it's tasteless and it screams out loud I have no worries about how others see me, so I changed and bought more colorful clothes that I liked. It's not that I decided to wear a disguise, I wear whatever I like, but I also want to look good, I want to become more social therefore I try to fit more into society.

I used to have a lot of trouble speaking to women, but in time I built more confidence and now I talk to them like it's nothing.

If I stayed inside my little bubble of self pity I wouldn't have gone as far as I've gone, and I still have a long way to go. If you want your life to change you have to improve yourself, it's as simple as that. Complaining won't change anything.

 

I will describe now a friend of mine who complains women aren't into him, and by all means I am not comparing you to him, I'm simply going to use him as an example of his flawed point of view.

He's an Otaku gamer, for those who don't know what an otaku is, it's a person who is extremely into japanese animation, manga and japanese culture in general. He's also a gamer which means he loves videogames a lot.

I'm not going to criticize anime and videogames because I do share a liking for these, except I'm not so into them it consumes my life at all. I barely have any time to sit and play video games and watch anime.

That said, this guy has a compulsive desire to waste money buying too many videogames, he just stacks them up like a hoarder and almost never gets a chance to play 80% of them, he just buys them because of his compulsive nature. He plays Destiny all day if he's on a day off from work and when he does work he plays just before he goes to work and jumps right in afterwards. If it wasn't Destiny he'd play anything else for hours.

He also goes on Anime marathons and watches series in a span of a day, several hours in, his life is basically work, videogames and anime.

Yet he complains women aren't into him

His fashion sense is on the floor, wearing military camo pants, shirts with anime or videogame characters in them. And chain around his waist.

He collects a bunch of anime girl figurines with large body parts or revealing outfits, and collects thousands of pictures on his phone and computer of anime female characters, drooling over them as if they are real.

When a girl actually talks to him he makes the stupidest jokes and can't stop talking about videogames and anime, even if a girl is present.

And to make matters worse he objectifies all women, he wants this "Perfect" anime real life girl who has the perfect body and loves him for who he is.

We were once at a comic con and this girl who was not ugly was hitting on him, and he didn't even know how to respond. When she left he said she was too fat.

Then he cries and complains he's all alone and no one loves him.

He refuses to improve himself and see where he goes wrong, and I've given him all the advice I can, but he will never change.

It's sad, but if you are incapable of seeing perspective outside your own, you can't complain things don't go the way you want them to.

 

Hey there. I can relate to you, and i think the advice by the people here is right. Can be overwhelming though to read no from 5 sides "you have to change", "wake up", etc.. I am sure it is not meant to down you, but to up you, if you get what i mean. It IS after all in your own hands, and what is required is to recognize this, and also to jump into cold waters sometimes, meaning to let of your comfort-zone. You are 21, still young, whole life in front of you. What i did when i was 21 was moving to another city, on my own, and later traveling 3 months through europe on my bike. Also on my own. I felt alone, not able to finish any task, anxious, fearful, you name it. I still am in a way, and have problems (i would not be here if not), but i also know there is possibility to improve everyday, and what i needed was a drastic jump out of my comfort zone.