Newly husband

He Plays and watch porn fore sure. When he wake up its hard for him to stand up ?

 

He watches porn, plays games and does not sleep with you either...
Problem is none of the things are good. He plays too much, and he watches porn. Having to let him play how much he wants is not a solution.
Im not a pro, but he needs to pay more attention to you and not games/porn...
A middle ground needs to be found.
The way I see it , you probably have not much fault in here , but his addictions.

 

If he continues this stuff, he might not find you attractive and he will not even have sex with you and at last, it will lead to ED or Impotence.

We humans are VISUAL CREATURES.
What happens when we watch porn (specially that features women with fake big boobs and perfect blonde body)
is that our brain gets elevated dopamine rush and after that ,
we require same fake boob woman with perfect body and blonde hair,
You see what happens?
Our Threshold for sexual arousal increased and anything less than that will not do it for us.

Kind of like, when you have sex with a hot looking girl, you don't find average looking girl that sexy or even you have sex with them, you will still feel unsatisfied.
And same thing is with women too, when they start liking a really good looking dude, they wont forget him , they might hook up with average guys but deep down their heart they still want that good looking dude.

Its human nature.
Stop your husband before things go out of control .

 

could you explain what dota is? I am not familiar with it. It seems reasonable to ask him not to play especially since it comes from your concern for his health. It is not possible to say why he went to watch P after you fell asleep. I might guess it stemmed from growing bored of his game. Many men struggling with this addiction name boredom as the number one trigger that leads the mind to wander. I can't tell you what you should do. I understand that watching P and MO'ing, is a very painful thing for women in relationships to deal with. He may not be ready to admit he has a problem but if you are able to calmly explain how it is hurting you perhaps it will help him to understand. Other men would tell him that life free of PMO allows experiences to happen in real life, with real people, that a far far greater than the short-lived dopamine high derived from PMO (you may be wondering what these letters stand for, but here we don't name these evils, a simply google search will tell you). I struggled with and denied my problem for more than 20 years. My realization came to me as an epiphany and I searched for help in stopping my PMO problem on my own but I think a calm calculated heartfelt intervention may also work. He will be happier without it, and so will you. I wish you and your husband luck (I wish I could remember the names of some of the leaders of this movement, many have recorded TED talks, search TED Talk Glasgow and "high-speed internet P" he gives a thoughtful talk with some science and some humor)!

 

He probably watches porn whenever there is a chance and his brain says : "More Dopamine!".
He is on a path of destruction.I was there and i am still going a long way before i become normal again.
The problem is there is nobody treating these dopamine addictions, games and P.
You are alone in this.He is also alone in this.
Does he realize he have problem?Is he aware of NoFap?
It can be hard to make him see what's wrong.In his reality now everything is normal.
Patience and willingness is required.
He might also have some other problem he isn't aware about and that's what led him to his addictions.

 

If you guys married. ..then it means..he must have liked you the way you were/are. You dont need bigger boobs.. It wont do it.
Im not sure what YOU can do about it. .Its all on him. He needs to understand that you love him and you are part of his life. Does he love you back? Like sincerely..Does he love you or the games / porn?. You should ask him which of those are closer to his heart

 

Usually when you get into relationship there's the whole honeymoon phase where you can't get enough of each other, and emotions are high, and can't get enough of each other. That usually fades out after the 1-2 year mark, but since you guys got married so quick, maybe this is just who he is, and you weren't able to see this side yet?

 

I had the same issue while i had a girlfriend and was hooked on hardcore porn.I just couldn't express myself, couldn't open my mouth.Unable to express my feelings.Closed in my shell.That's what this addiction is doing with him.

Boob size doesn't matter!

He surely saw something in you, that's probably why he asked the question!So yes, you are attractive enough!
The problem is elsewhere.

There is two types of addicts:
Type A)He sees the problem and is willing to cooperate.
Type B)He doesn't see the problem and is stuck into the vicious circle.

If he is open minded and willing to cooperate introduce him with the community.We all have the same problem here.We are willing to help.

I've told about this group to my CBT and she told me that a lot of the work is done here for free.There is no doctor trained to deal with this kind of addictions.Society doesn't see the problem, it deny that there is a problem in the first place.

 

I told my wife about my struggle with PMO, and she listened to me and didn't judge me. She said she will support me if I ask her for support/advice etc. That was a great gesture from her because I know she is a sincere person. However, I told her about my addiction a few years back and I am still struggling with this problem but I have not given up. When I fall I get up again and start over. The problem here is that porn is something one turns to for different reasons. Your husbands trigger could be when he is tired and can't sleep which is clear from your intake of the situation. It could also be boredom. Sometime's the urges does not have to be strong for one to relapse. Unfortunately its that feel good that the brain craves and once it is fed then reality hits home and depression, mood swings kick in. My struggle with porn does not mean I don't love my wife, I still find her attractive and maybe because she has accepted my struggle with porn, maybe that is why I feel okay to relapse over and over again. Sorry for the rambling on...but he needs your support and also he has to realise that one day he can lose you if he doesn't give this up. If he is not trying to give up then that is a problem in itself. Good luck for the future

 

Some people alsohave arranged marriages ... Dont get into the conclusion of liking each other m8! (Its not always Love marriage )

 

Well, in this case...that sad. To me , a marriage means two people loving eachother.

 

I agree with what most people are saying. Speaking as a happily married man who struggles with PM, I can say pretty confidently that this is his issue and has little to nothing to do with you. You seem to be pretty understanding, but don't take it so far as to thinking you need to bend to his will or give him what he wants so that he doesn't look at porn. If it is something that bothers you and he really loves you, he should take it seriously and do what he can to change or at the very least, begin an open dialogue. Again, I can only give my perspective. I absolutely love my wife and hate myself for my addiction. Never once would I place the blame on her. She is an extremely attractive woman who says no to very little of the sexual things I ask of her and has never once judged me for a weird kink or fetish. But, even I have done what some of the others here have mentioned and gotten to a point of desensitization where I have to imagine porn just to hold an erection while having sex with her. I'll also mention that she is a 32DD. So, you could have the biggest breasts in the world and sadly, if his pleasure sensors get far enough out of whack, they will effect your relationship and sex life.

I don't mean to say any of this to worry you, or make you feel bad. I simply want to give some perspective and hopefully some confidence to stand up and tell him that it's something that is affecting you, and that you need to be able to talk about it.

 

Yup But it happens here... But Bindi says that he proposed her so ... Cheers!