Hello friends im arun.

Hello friends
Im Arun and today I joined Nofap for quitting porn and gain back the control of my body and mind.
My sexual feelings strayed way back in 3rd grade. I used to hug many pillow and squeeze it with my thighs till i felt a good feeling in my pelvic area. I disnt k new i was masturbating or anything about sex. Then i started doing it when i saw advertisement s of women's lingerie on women's magazine my mother buys. Women wearing nothing but lingerie turns onquickly. As from that point in my life ive been a porn addict since.
On school i liked studied maths and physics. But i never study properly for exams and end up getting low marks and grooving about it. I always wanted marks but i could never work enough to get them. All the time i get in a day is not enough to finish dream ing about how I'll be doing sex with my future wife after marriage. I lost everything in it. I didnt have any friends in a school in which i studied for11years.i didn't even had good marks even though i could be the best in class. Ask what i became outs a complete looser because of my sexual fantasies. In real iv don't even have the courage to ask a class mater name. Im so desperate for sex and friendship with females i can't even think anything else even 1 day before exam and even if i havent startes stydying. My desparation for love and sex was so much it costed me the 7 year relation i had with one of my female friends way back in school after i proposed her. After breaking up my mind blamed her dor not acceptong my love by "not being there for me when i needed her the most". And in actuality i proved to her nobody in this world could be trusted , not even me. I made her beleive in me ,that i was her friend on whom she could depend on and i made her insecure and fearfull of the world. I started seeing her like my gf after 1 day when i was m ing i imagined having sex with her. After that i started feeling for her in a way i never did in7years.
It is killing my everything. My life my dreams my time my commitment as a son as a student as a friend as everything and i want to be rid of it. I want peace and happines. Hope i find my solution here..
Thank you for reading.

 

Thank you friend. I ll try my best

 

I have almost no strategy. I think i ll try what bonminati recommended... Could you add something to it? I faped even yester day just after paying this thread. I feel like Im a lost cause.

 

Thank you.