Do you think it is normal for someone in a relationship to masturbate sometimes?

I think in a normal, healthy relationship; one that isn't effected by porn and sexual addiction, it is normal for either or both partners to occasionally masturbate. I wouldn't be upset if my wife M'd on occasion.

 

I think it is OK on occasion,(when your partner is not available) after all it is my body and if I don't know what I like, how can I tell or show him. That being said, I personally think and fantasize about my husband and I don't use tools (I am a woman) I just personally feel that fantasizing about some one else or the use of tools is somehow cheating or at least adding things that may make actual sex less stimulating or appealing.

 

I think it would be common, but that doesn't make it okay.

 

Definitely think that M'ing in a realationship is not a huge deal, but it's something you should talk about with your parter.
Also, what's more concerning iss how you do it and at what frequency.

I find M'ing can lead to another PMO cycle if done in secret. You snack on a cookie (M) while wanting cake (P), but wind up eating a cake and a pint of ice cream.

 

I think the key is open and honest communication about it with your SO. If you talk about it and both feel that on occasion that it's not a big deal then it probably isn't. However, for us addicts, the problem comes when anything is done in secret or if we somehow feel we need to keep it hidden. That has the potential to be a problem and lead to addictive cycles. Addiction and shame thrives in secrecy.

For me, the measuring stick is whether I would feel comfortable telling my wife about it. And if I would feel bad or nervous telling her what I did, perhaps where I did it or what I was thinking about while doing it then for me that's problematic. My wife and I are in a period right now of my not initiating sex to take the pressure off of her having to feel like she needs to perform her "wifely duties". Too long a story for me to go into right now. I was in a "no solo M" reboot period prior to my volunteering to stop initiating for a season. But we talked about it and I told her that I then may need on occasion to M if I needed a release. She agreed to this and was fine with it. I didn't want her to walk in on me and then freak out thinking that I had relapsed or something. So for us right now it's not a big deal since we talked about it. But I would also want to be able to tell her when I do that and also be able to say that I wasn't fantasizing about another woman while doing it, etc.

The bigger concern for me personally is what it connected with M. I struggle to not fantasize while I M. And I know that for me, that M leads to fantasy life issues which leads to P. So I've worked at cutting out P by cutting out fantasy and thought life issues by cutting out M. Back to the original question of the thread, I guess I would say that whether M is a big deal or not depends on each person and what accompanies it. For some, they might be able to M and not fantasize or have it lead to P and their SO might be the same way and if they talk about that and are both open to that then it's fine. No harm, no foul. However, for others it might not be so simple or harmless and might lead to other more problematic behaviors or perhaps the SO would not be ok with it or would feel hurt or betrayed by that behavior and so the answer for that person might be the opposite.

 

Regarding fantasies, I'm not sure how in life you will ever be able to live without that unique feature of our brain it is also what moves us to act, to plan for our future and aspire, dream, hope, well the list goes on, that being said you may be able to retrain your fantasies. Visualize a time when you and your wife were have a good time and you knew you were the only thing on her mind when she made you know she wanted you, then try and build from there. The memory will either bring it or put you in tears(which is not my intention but it has backfired a couple of times) either way the fantasy will be safe.

 

Fuck no. If you're in a relationship you should be getting laid not fucking jacking off.

If I had a girl, why would I masturbate? I'm wasting the build up. When you masturbate you waste sexual tention and energy. Now when you go have sex it will be less pleasurable. Also seminal retention is real. So you can't afford to jack off.

Honestly jacking off is no where near as pleasurable then even mediocre sex. If you have a sexy girl who wants you why would you jack off? Just wait patiently.

 

Hello , YES its normal , NO its not okay , you see i used to MP while being married , then i stopped ive been 30 days now , and yes there's a whole lot diffrent i nottice im not.selfish with my pleasure , im always available , dont have dysfunctions we figth less , she understands more that this addiction its not so easy cause i taught her as i learn my self from my problem IT HAS NOOOOOOOOOOOT BEEN EASY just in case THERE IS STRUGGLE THER IS REGRET THERE IS PAIN , but its all worth it TRUST ME talk to her about it let her understand , i know how hard it is you still have to do it someday tell her to.support you AND MOST IMPORTANT DO IT FOR.YOURE SELF ,why ? Because if i figth gets acrros you will.fall again soooooo shields uuuup soilder !!!! We have a war to win !!!

 

I answered no, but to a modification of the answer, because we all know life is not black and white..

No it's not OK to masterbate in secret when in a commited relationship.

Yes it is OK to masterbate when you are open and honest with your partner about it.

 

I think it best that we do not masturbate - period.

 

Although I voted yes, I think it depends. I don't watch porn, but I do M. I think if someone can't MO without P, it's definitely a problem. I also think it's a problem if someone's turning down their partner and then Ming. I couldn't care less if my SO was just Ming, but he's PMOing and turning me down. That's a problem.

 

I think it's normal and okay so long as you are open about it and your masturbation does not effect your sex life with your partner. For example men that suffer from porn induced ED like my partner . He can ejaculate solo while watching porn no problem but with me he never can. So in his case yes masturbation is not okay because it's effecting his relationship. He would chose porn and M over sex with me. I am 39 and have been in many relationships and masturbation and porn use were never a problem with me. If the man wants to do it that's fine. But men with ED will seek every thing else possible out before admitting the porn and masturbation are the root cause. I think the reason for that is that M has been given so much positive coverage and honestly so has porn. So men think what they are doing is normal all guys do that. I also think that as men age their ability to keep up their M schedule and still have sex with their partner with no ED but they can't. You are asking this question of a community trying to stop M so you are likely to get skewed results. I think with healthy people it's normal just like people can drink one class of wine with no issues.

 

On occasion then no problem. Much more then it is a problem.