Virginity and waiting until marriage

It's good to be a virgin until you are married the bible says so meaningless sex is a waste of time

 

I believe that sex is one of the most bonding experiences any two people can share together and that it is best in marriage. I'm biased because I am a Christian (not a casual one, but one who ran away from God, but took a look at my life and had a conversion experience) and because i was a virgin when I got married.

That said, just focusing on not having intercourse was the wrong goal. I should have focused on developing a healthy view of sexuality. Instead I turned deeply into PMO. So while I didn't have intercourse or any sexual contact with anyone before I met my wife, and we waited until our wedding night, I also brought in decades of baggage about sex. Sex is bad. Feeling sexual is shameful. Sex should be hidden. Sex should secret. Sex should go a long time and be all about how I feel. I'm only good at sex if we're having crazy O's like in P movies.

It's 10 years later, I'm 40 years old, and I only now (after suffering through PIED, our marriage nearly falling apart multiple times) am understanding what a healthy sex life looks like.

So save yourself. But know why you are waiting to have sex.

 

When I was younger I rebelled against the idea of waiting until marriage. I looked at it as a limitation to my happiness, and it hasn't been until now that I actually view it as a safeguard of happiness. As PMO has shown many of us, not everything which feels good is good for us, and the knowledge of these things can actually harm our outlooks and appreciation for simple things. I believe the same is the case with premarital/casual sex. Sex used casually is an abuse of its function and thus leads us to degrading each by basing another persons value solely on the level of physical gratification.

However, if we are to wait and keep our virginity until marriage, then the bonds which bring two people together will be forged by the communicaton and sharing of personalities. That bond is the most important bond to establish because it is the one which establishes love and which will outlast our sexual passions. Furthermore waiting until marriage gives us that blissful ignorance of any other sexual experiences involving intercourse, therefore rendering us incapable of judging our sex with a loved one as being bad or unsatisfactory. Waiting until marriage ensures two people will never have bad sex because they experience something new together and with love and joy. Remember the quote "comparison is the thief of joy"? Well that explains the premise. Those who taint their lives with tons of premarital and casual sex rob themselves of this amazing joy because now theyve inserted other sexual experiences into the mix which can dominate over the experiences with the one they love and rob them of their joy.

 

You have an intellect in order to come to a judgment about things and discern truth. We can judge ideas, concepts, and choices. I'm sorry but I'm not going to respect my friends belief that 2+2=5 simply because he has the ability to choose to believe that. This entire non-judgmental nice speak where we are to have tolerance for everyone's beliefs is exactly how my idiot friend will get 2+2=5 into a textbook one day because you're too afraid to look biased and tell him his belief is idiotic. Truth is biased, it hurts, and it has zero tolerance for falsities. Would the world be better off without it?

We have the ability of choice in order to do what we ought, not so we can do whatever we want. It's our duty to seek out, live, and protect the truth. If we're not doing that then there is no point in any of us being alive.

 

Interesting responses here... thought I might add :

 

@Stand & Fight How about the times when there is more than one right choice?