SUCCESS! HALF A YEAR

I hit 6 months. Half a year no PMO.

The past 6 months have been life changing on many levels. Last night was a great indicator.

I was watching a movie on regular cable television. 5 minutes in, there were women with nothing on. Without consciously thinking, I went "whoa!!" And put my hand up to block what I didn't need to see. This was a default action. I turned the film off . I am very careful about knowing my destination before I arrive on cable - this took me off guard. I had to exercize my reasoning and speak out in my head, "PORN IS NOT AN OPTION". My memory kept trying to replay and get a dopamine hit, but I shut it down by letting my reason speak over my urge.

But I also prayed, asking for God's help. The urge passed and I have more evidence that urges can be conquered.

I also used to believe that "blue balls" needed release. This is wrong, since semen is released through urination. The pressure subsides.

Don't give up! The last 6 months have changed my life! I didn't think that I would ever be free from being enslaved to porn, masturbation, fantasy, shame, depression, anxiety, wasted time, and wasted life. IT IS POSSIBLE TO TAKE VICTORY!

Once you get beyond 90, there are more changes on the horizon. My 90 -180 gave me more insight. I have seen more and more areas where I need to fine tune my life. Once you get PMO under control, you start to see anger, laziness, pride, gluttony, envy, greed - the other 6 deadly sins that get ignored because you've been dealing with lust. I have seen where all of these areas of my life need an overhaul. The work is steady and challenging, but also worth it.

"Remember the guy who quit? Neither does anyone else."

PEACE!!!

 

Thanks for the response. Lust is so powerful that it dominates our focus. I had no full idea of how damaging the other areas have been to me and others. We almost need a NoPride, NoWrath, NoSloth, NoEnvy, NoGreed, and NoGluttony.

But I think that this forum allows for discussion of all of it. So many of us hit the wall because of lust. And this is where we pick up the pieces and work on the full picture. The thing that I'm finding is that if I don't attempt to focus on all of my faults, (taking into account that I am human and that it will take time) than I am more likely to come back to the very beginning.

PEACE

 

Thanks for the response.
It's amazing how powerful a word from the intellect is. My personal favorites:
"NO, NOT GOING THERE'
"PORN IS NOT AN OPTION"
"I DON'T DO THAT ANYMORE "
All spoken with great authority directly at the urge. The urge responds very much like a puppy, depending on your tone of inner voice and sense of personal authority. The urge backs down.

I try to keep in mind that the urge to porn has had power in my life because I gave it power. Now, I keep it and use it for good.

Stand strong


God's PEACE

 

Thanks for the reply. I can relate to your post.

I remember within the first month I experienced a real sense of loneliness. It was new. And real. I covered it with PMO for so long that I never let myself experience it.

6 months of no PMO has let me assess a lot of my life that needs improvement. It's a lot easier to make changes in your life when you have the eyes to see what's really going on.

 

Freedom can be achieved.

I am amazed when I think back to where I was 191 days ago.

I had no control over urges. I felt that the only way to stop them was to give in. The whole notion of not giving in felt impossible and somewhat inhuman. It felt like death.

Now I realize that I had to die to myself and trust that there is life beyond porn. I have found LIFE and I am truly feel free - yet always vigilant so that I don't rationalize and go back. I still have urges, but they no longer control me. I let them pass, and they do. Never thought it possible before...

The longer I go the more healing takes place.

GOD'S PEACE!!!

 

Thanks for the reply.
The healing takes place when you knock out the fantasy and images. Each time you look, even if you don't M, you are getting a big hit of dopamine. Each time you recall and fantasize, you are getting a big hit of dopamine. I have not deliberately fantasized or searched in 6 months and I know that it's the key to healing. I use my reason and speak to the urge, when it starts, like I would talk to an unruly child asking for 5 slices of cake "NO, WE ARE NOT GOING THERE. ABSOLUTELY NOT. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ARE ASKING ME FOR 5 PIECES OF CAKE! UNBELIEVEABLE" say this in my head to the urge. The urge always backs down.

GOD'S PEACE

 

True, it is fun and at the same time a challenge. Other areas, the other 6 deadly sins, when ignored, tend to fester and grow. Ultimately, if ignored, they end up contributing to a fall with PMO. For example, sloth, or laziness can lead to work getting put off, deadline pressure, and a strong urge to feel relief from what is effectively a self-imposed problem. In other words, my laziness let's work build up to the point that I feel overwhelmed and my brain wants dopamine and knows a very easy and available solution, PMO. My subconscious mind has set me up so many times by leading other areas of my life to chaos. ITS A SET UP. And once chaos hits my PMO urge is overwhelming. I would rationalize that "I can't sleep unless I PMO."

It was all a lie

I have faced strong urges and emerged victorious by speaking authoritatively to the urge.

But I have experienced far less urges since I started to consider the other areas of my life that assisted PMO.

90 days is the beginning of a total life change.

God's peace!!