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Phone sex?

Discussion in 'Partner Support' started by LittleMiss, Nov 12, 2016.

  1. Nov 12, 2016 #1
    LittleMiss

    LittleMiss New Fapstronaut

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    Hi!

    I've been in a relationship with a man for almost a year now who hasn't managed to orgasm through intercourse/oral with me: only by self masturbation. I am his first long term relationship, although by no means his first partner. It's took about six months to get him to admit to having some anxiety about full intercourse and to being a porn addict (first post and I'm not quite used to all the abbreviations :)!)

    He has agreed to try and not use porn and tells me that he only brings himself to orgasm now after some level of input from me! We have phone sex quite a lot, and even though I'm trying to be as positive and support as I can, I'm starting to believe that this is just another way too de-sensitise him from achieving orgasm by me. He loves the sounds of my voice, but when we do speak sexually it always has to involve me discussing his paticular fetish for me to bring him to orgasm even this way. I've indulged him a lot with this fetish and even found it quite exciting a first as it was more extreme than I'm used to, but again, it has nothing to do with physical sexual intercourse.

    What are your thoughts on phone sex? I'm feeling quite low at the moment in regard to my self-esteem and I almost feel as though he prefers the sound of my voice to actually being with me?

    Also - does anyone have any advice on how to turn the focus from this fetish? (at least for some of the time!) I'm open to most things but sometimes I feel as though I'm just a vehicle for it rather than his girlfriend :(.
     
    LittleMiss, Nov 12, 2016
    LittleMiss, Nov 12, 2016
    #1
    IbrahimViking and Deleted Account like this.
  2. Nov 12, 2016 #2
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    I must say that you should generally avoid this things....other than real sex all other things come under same category..
    if you trying to restore him back phone sex is not a good option....its tough but you should ignore such thing and focus on general conversation only...phone sex is also doing the same thing the porn does....virtually imagining the sex which will affect his struggle during NoFap mode..
    Try to have general conversation...since you are his gf, so you have millions of non-sex topics to talk and discuss..
    Go for slow and steady process, sudden rush will only turn you back to the same thing...
    If you are trying to get him O trough phone-sex, hopefully it may became one of his trigger...so ignore them during your conversation....talk about politics,science,college,movies,series,anime,etc....
     
    Deleted Account, Nov 12, 2016
    Deleted Account, Nov 12, 2016
    #2
    Deleted Account and Deadlihood like this.
  3. Nov 12, 2016 #3
    Deadlihood

    Deadlihood Fapstronaut

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    Time for him to do "hard mode"! No porn, masturbation, or orgasm from him for at least (approx.) 90 to 180 days.

    Sounds extreme - yes - but that's how you cure porn induced erectile dysfunction! Good luck to you both.

    P.S. It's not you - I am sure he finds you very lovely - his sexual desires have just been warped by porn. Trust me!
     
    Deadlihood, Nov 12, 2016
    Deadlihood, Nov 12, 2016
    #3
    Deleted Account and Zombie_Chickie2.0 like this.
  4. Nov 12, 2016 #4
    Ikindaknew

    Ikindaknew Fapstronaut

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    @LittleMiss ,

    Do you think his fetish is porn-induced? I know very well that trying to make real sex "pornish" or in accordance with one's fetish is not helping.
    don't let his bad habits bringing you down.
    It might be real hard for him to get rid of that bad twist.

    Only re-learning how to "real sex" will do. No exterior influence, special "flavors", etc.

    also, for a fetishist, even if he wants to live those fetishes, its often not easy to live them, becomes stressful or anxious, and erection doesnt show up.
     
    Ikindaknew, Nov 12, 2016
    Ikindaknew, Nov 12, 2016
    #4
    Deleted Account likes this.
  5. Nov 13, 2016 #5
    IGY

    IGY Guest

    Phone sex is artificial, ergo, it is not helpful for a guy trying to overcome an addiction to masturbation and porn.
     
    IGY, Nov 13, 2016
    IGY, Nov 13, 2016
    #5
    Deleted Account likes this.
  6. Nov 13, 2016 #6
    Deadlihood

    Deadlihood Fapstronaut

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    Hotline Zing
     
    Deadlihood, Nov 13, 2016
    Deadlihood, Nov 13, 2016
    #6
  7. Sep 12, 2019 #7
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    Mysele too on the same boat.
    I love her voice very much it leads me to orgasm sometimes it becomes multiple times later i feel loathed. Btw, just trying hard to shift my mind towards my goal.
    Best of luck fr ur further life
     
    Deleted Account, Sep 12, 2019
    Deleted Account, Sep 12, 2019
    #7
    IbrahimViking likes this.
  8. Oct 1, 2019 #8
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    A novely which will become a liability in time.
     
    Deleted Account, Oct 1, 2019
    Deleted Account, Oct 1, 2019
    #8
  9. Oct 1, 2019 #9
    Get_It

    Get_It Fapstronaut

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    Speaking as a man, only phone sex I'd have is the few minutes that I use to call her before seeing her in person. Nofap has taught me to hate all this artificial shit that isn't real sex.
     
    Get_It, Oct 1, 2019
    Get_It, Oct 1, 2019
    #9

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